We can all use a laugh

Finally, me and the missus were on holiday and there she was, sipping a large glass of wine. And then she says " I love you so much . I don't know how I could ever live without you. So ah says "Is that you or the wine talking?" She says "It's me, talking to the wine"
 
Very sad news coming out of the cesspit tonight,young 37 year old striker Jermain Defoe was carried of on a stretcher due to a serious hamstring problem..looking at 6 weeks they say,,could have been worse could have been 4,,but realistically 6 weeks is O.K.
More-or-less will be licking his lips now at the thought of being able to get a few more RED and YELLOW cards,,..

HH.
 
What about this Elite mob doing the dirty on sevco,,Dodgy Dave said they are out of order because they have not paid the Β£2.5m they owe sevco...
No Bhoys and Ghirls I am sure he did not mention paying the taxman or his creditors or big Mike or Hummel but I am sure he will get round to it...sometime..
Maybe the SFA will help him out AGAIN...

HH.
 
"Alexa,are the hun's comin'?"
Alexa,"most certainly not"
"Why's that Alexa?"
Alexa, "because the lowlife,knuckledragging,six toe'd,pointy purpled headed filth,lowlife who should be sent to a swamp, along with their brethren, never to pollute the earth and live their miserable pish stained lives in constant misery!"
"Thanks Alexa,ah love yer posh voice,have ye got a message for the scum?"
"Why yes,get it right fucking up you,you hun filth, your club is fucking dead,ten in a row,and, i want to be Edouard"
Thanks Alexa! 🍺
 
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This real life story is so tragically pathetic it qualifies as funny and I'm sure quite a few of you may already know of this guy who has made a killing (pardon the punπŸ˜›) on the corona virus. The guy has a wee hardware store on dumbarton road across from the bag of nails (once the partick tavern). In partick they have in the past few years opened 4 high rise luxury student buildings with their own gyms laundrettes and all the bells and whistles. They are packed out full of young Chinese students who have flew in on the bank of ma n da to study, leading to fears that they may have brought the virus with them. So this guy (a first class salesman obviously) has noticed that the NHS has been inundated by requests for face masks and run out. So the guy sees an opportunity for a quick buck ,goes to the cash and carry, buys as many boxes of face masks as possible and puts a sign up outside his wee store saying "Don't die! Please buy! Corona virus face-masks " only in glesga will you get some wee hardware store guy making money aff the plague πŸ˜† f*kn quality πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘ sold 2050 masks in 2days πŸ€£πŸ˜‚


 

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