We can all use a laugh

Wow, imagine watchin Peppa Pig, while eatin a bacon sandwich? that's jist.......that's jist wrang! 🍺 🥳
Sank the boat on that one.
Mate is a game keeper. Shot with him back years ago and was always invited to help with the heard management.
Went up before lockdown but it was a swirling wind so we only managed two.

My son asked what the meat was. Just turned 4. He was aghast it was santas deer.

He turned into a manic, slightly disturbing little creature.

I did it right as an Ex chef, dauph tatties red wine sauce.
He went ferral. The blood after cooking the meat was like paint all down his shirt.

Telling the battle axe of an Ex
"We ate Rudolf"

Wee guy has class tho. He said I want to eat deer.
I defrosteded some and cooked it. Gave him it and he complained that the other other red sauce was better. Red wine v ketchup

Wee guy knows his stuff.
Shame on me for serving it up with crinkle cut chips.
Fuck sake Turkey jeters were a treat. This wee bam is taking the piss
No idea
 
Sank the boat on that one.
Mate is a game keeper. Shot with him back years ago and was always invited to help with the heard management.
Went up before lockdown but it was a swirling wind so we only managed two.

My son asked what the meat was. Just turned 4. He was aghast it was santas deer.

He turned into a manic, slightly disturbing little creature.

I did it right as an Ex chef, dauph tatties red wine sauce.
He went ferral. The blood after cooking the meat was like paint all down his shirt.

Telling the battle axe of an Ex
"We ate Rudolf"

Wee guy has class tho. He said I want to eat deer.
I defrosteded some and cooked it. Gave him it and he complained that the other other red sauce was better. Red wine v ketchup

Wee guy knows his stuff.
Shame on me for serving it up with crinkle cut chips.
Fuck sake Turkey jeters were a treat. This wee bam is taking the piss
No idea
"We ate rudolf"! pml! 😹 🍺🥳
 
"We ate rudolf"! pml! 😹 🍺🥳
Mate she was fuckin gobsmacked.
She thought (in her mind he had been in an accident)
I know the lad from school so it was a trip up north and a chance to use the licence....
Didn't expect the wee man's reaction. Cooked him rare steak and he loved it before. The deer ffs..a lesser man would of needed counselling after watching him. Haha

The shock only equalled the day I took him for his first big bhoy hair cut and shed his curls lol.
To be fair there's nothing better than watching your wean get fired into some good grub
 
Ah 'no whit ye mean Michael, i'd be thinking pork chops, crackling and this sannie needs mustard. What's wrang wie that?🐖🐖🐖 MMMMM
This makes me think of my other halves goldfish we were sitting eating a fish supper ( friday night of course ) and she said I dont feel right about this , what ? I said , eating fish in front of venus (the fish is called venus a 16 year old gold fish btw) this is sounding more stupid as I write but all true. I said dont be daft what do you think venus eats ? Those wee cereal flakes 😂 I said cereal flakes? The hell you on about ? Fish food is exactly that, food made from fish for fish. Noooh!! Were feeding her , her own species and got all upset I near choked on my laughter ( then realised it was a fish bone , not one of venus' ) 😷
 
This makes me think of my other halves goldfish we were sitting eating a fish supper ( friday night of course ) and she said I dont feel right about this , what ? I said , eating fish in front of venus (the fish is called venus a 16 year old gold fish btw) this is sounding more stupid as I write but all true. I said dont be daft what do you think venus eats ? Those wee cereal flakes 😂 I said cereal flakes? The hell you on about ? Fish food is exactly that, food made from fish for fish. Noooh!! Were feeding her , her own species and got all upset I near choked on my laughter ( then realised it was a fish bone , not one of r are you talking Koi Crap? 🐠🐠🏓🏓
 
The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."
A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!" The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer." The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!" The judge stops and says to the guy in the back of the courtroom, "Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime. But no more outbursts from you, or I'll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?" The guy in the back of the court stands up and says, "I'm sorry, Your Honor, but for fifteen years, I've lived next door to that bastard, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one.
 
The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican , and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.

Grumpy leads the pack.

'Grumpy, my son,' says the Pope, 'What can I do for you?'

Grumpy asks, 'Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?'

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome.'

In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them. Grumpy turns back, 'Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?'

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe.

'This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry glare. Grumpy turns back and says, 'Mr.. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?'

The Pope, really confused by the questions says, 'I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.'

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting......

'Grumpy shagged a penguin!'

'Grumpy shagged a penguin!
 
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