So i went to visit an old friend doing a gig in Berlin a few months ago.
Stunning gig, amazing setting the Waldbhune, next to Union Berlins stadium.
The Germans are efficient, the stadium has its own train station, never catch on here.
Anyhow, i gets a tap on the back early in the gig, a lady behind offers me a 50 euro bill, my first reaction was, as long as you give a tip, but it turns out that it was lying at my feet.
Delighted, i goes to put it in my wallet and finds out its not mines.
The Celtic fan in me overcomes the Weedgie and i happened to have noticed the lads in front were chipping in for a round earlier, they were fighting over who paid for it, so i did the right thing and passed it to them. This went down very well and they bought me several drinks as a result, half of which i passed back to the ladies husband. I'd made friends.
When the mighty Neil left stage i noticed that several of said lads were getting huckled out by the German Police, apparently your not allowed to enjoy a gig anymore.
My pal says, i'll go and get us a last drink, so off he pop's and a few minute later, as Neil returns to the stage for his encore i feel a tap on the shoulder. Thinking thats was quick i turns around and there's a big German Police standing there with a female steward. He asks me to put my hands behind my back..... I laugh.... 'For what exactly ?, i'm not with those guys'...... she pipes up in perfect English....... 'for your own sake, don't say anything else, they don't listen, your leaving, it's either out the venue or to a cell if you refuse'.
Before she had the chance to ask for my number, i thought, ok, i'll take the least worse option.
So i was escorted out of the gig by the Stasi, with Keep on Rocking in the Free World blaring out from the stage. I quickly realised the irony in it all and what a great story i had to to tell.
So thank you to the big german cunt that kicked me out and if your the wee stunning german lassie that would no doubt have wanted my number, keep dreaming.