Anyone got a funny story/joke?

[Noah Billy]

Horse goes into a bar, barman says "Why the long face"

Same pub , bear walks in. Gies a ...............

................lager.
Barman says why the big paws?

 

[Noah Billy]

Did ye know Jean Marc Bosman's wife wiz called Fanny?

 

[Digger]

Every woman remembers her wedding day but not for what you think,when she enters the chapel the first thing she sees is the isle and then the altar quickly followed by seeing Him and from that moment it sticks in her mind. I,LL ALTAR HIM

 

[Robbyp]

Trying to register my new ATM card, I was asked to type an 8 character password. I Typed 'SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarves'. The fucking thing rejected it!

 

[Robbyp]

This is for the auld teamers. If Fanny Cradock had married Tam Weir, would that have made her Fanny Weir?

 

[Greenghirl]

????that’s taken me back 50 years and I remember her poor long suffering husband Johny. Poor old sod she bossed him something terrible.

 

[Noah Billy]

This is for the auld teamers. If Fanny Cradock had married Tam Weir, would that have made her Fanny Weir?

Long time since i heard that?

 

[Robbyp]

"I hope all your doughnuts turn out like fanny's"...Johnny Cradock.

 

[Greenghirl]

Leaving Friday........Brexit...... no....Robinson Crusoe

 

[tictastic]

Boobs are like model trains
they’re made for the kids, but usually it’s the dads who end up playing with them the most

 

[michael duffy]

James Forrest's Celtic Blog!!!!!!

 

[Thai Tommy]

????that’s taken me back 50 years and I remember her poor long suffering husband Johny. Poor old sod she bossed him something terrible.

Wiz he no on the cooking sherry in the background

 

[Thai Tommy]

James Forrest's Celtic Blog!!!!!!

Oh, MD
You are so cruel....... "You Naughty Boy"

 

[Thai Tommy]

Boobs are like model trains
they’re made for the kids, but usually it’s the dads who end up playing with them the most

Can keep a guy occupied for hours

 

[michael duffy]

Oh, MD
You are so cruel....... "You Naughty Boy"

good Celtic fans blocked from postin,yet hun filth can post their bile and hate
must be needin the hits TT!

 

[michael duffy]

Can keep a guy occupied for hours

nunga nunga nunga nunga!!!!!!

 

[CelticRose]

good Celtic fans blocked from postin,yet hun filth can post their bile and hate
must be needin the hits TT!

MD do you mean on here they’re blocked?

 

[michael duffy]

MD do you mean on here they’re blocked?

naw CR, no here ,blocked on the Celtic blog on the Celtic news now page
ye cannae whack a wee bit of censorship eh!!!!

 

[CelticRose]

naw CR, no here ,blocked on the Celtic blog on the Celtic news now page

Oh just wae everything I was wondering so thanks HH

 

[BILLCOWIE1958]

A big white horse trotts into a bar and asks the barman for a whisky...

Barman looks the big white horse up and down and says, ok then what kind of whisky and starts to rhyme of all the whiskys and then says, infact we even have a whisky named after you.

The big white horse says really I never knew that ok give me a Dobbin then.??

Guy driving through rural Ireland in pouring rain and his car all of a sudden cuts out

He tries a few times to restart it but nothing so he gets out and lifts the bonnet not really knowing what the fault may be or what he's looking for

He hears a voice behind him say 'it' s your distributor cap fella'

The guy turns around him and finds a big white horse standing with it's head over the fence looking over his shoulder and into the car's engine bay Beside the white horse is a smaller black horse

They guy is dumbfounded but the white horse repeats '*it' s your distributor cap Take it off and dry it with a rag'

Not knowing what else to do the guy takes the white horses advice and drys the distributor cap and as soon as he turns the key in the ignition the engine roars into life

The guy is incredulous and continues on his way until he reaches the hotel that he has booked himself into

After checking in he says to the receptionist 'The most amazing thing happened as I was driving here' and he continues to relate his story in full

After listening intently to the guest's story the receptionist says ' A big white horse you say'?

The guest nods and says ' yes I couldn' t believe it'

The receptionist says ' just as well it wasn' t the small black horse He knows fuck all about engines'

HH?