Embarrassing Moments

[Imatim]

Anything remotely funny that was quite embarrassing.....either to your good self or some else

 

[50 Shades of Green]

Awe ffs this thread could go on forever .

Should merge it with the pub thread

 

[lcafiero]

i got an "F" on a paper on "Youth in Asia" because the paper was supposed to be on "Euthanasia." I was a senior in high school. Took me decades to live that one down.

 

[Hoopy427]

Years ago I sent an apprentice to a local tool hire shop to pick me up a theodolite.
Half an hour later the manager of the shop phoned me pissing himself laughing while trying to explain that they didn't hire out thalidomides!
Arsehole apprentice!

 

[26+6=1]

In a pub on xmas evening I started to tell a joke "how do you circumcise a priest" and everyone went deathly quiet as I was about to deliver the punchline so I instinctively looked around to see who was standing behind me.....the parish priest.

 

[Lubos left peg]

I was working in a house a few years back with my mate. The customer gave us access then left. We were supposed to lock up when done. We had been out the night before and must have had a bad pint or something. I really really needed to use the customers toilet. Let's just say it didnt smell very good in there. Never mind. Crack a window. Carry on working. There would be no smell by the time customer got home....only she forgot something and came back!!! And the window wouldnt open. I heard her walk up stairs and I panicked. I grabbed what i thought was deodorant from the side of the sink and started spraying......shaving gel. The more I tried rubbing it away the more it foamed up!!! She walked up and saw me and her carpet covered in foam. Let's just say she wasnt best pleased. Oops

 

[Artur]

So am on a bus coming back from work years ago and i notice this woman/guy (couldnae tell) staring at me to the point i felt awkward as fuck .This went on for a good half hour when this he or she stood up to get off the bus i felt a small bit of crunched up paper hit me but didnt think anythin of it.So he/she gets off the bus and shes still eyeballing me through the windaeso for some reason i lean down and pic this paper up and he/she had wrote 'pic of your c#ck pls'with their mobile number under it obviously threw it away though

 

[Spherical Planet]

Didn't happen to me, but whilst staying with a family in France, one of my team-mates (who went on to have a decent career with Forfar, Dunfermline and also in Australia) thought that a bidet was a shitey for bairns and laid a cable so thick you'd need a hacksaw to cut through it.

He came through the room and asked me how to flush it and that was when we heard the screams of the anguished French woman we were staying with.

That jobbie had a short, but happy life and received a humane burial in their back garden.

 

[boab1916]

So am on a bus coming back from work years ago and i notice this woman/guy (couldnae tell) staring at me to the point i felt awkward as fuck .This went on for a good half hour when this he or she stood up to get off the bus i felt a small bit of crunched up paper hit me but didnt think anythin of it.So he/she gets off the bus and shes still eyeballing me through the windaeso for some reason i lean down and pic this paper up and he/she had wrote 'pic of your c#ck pls'with their mobile number under it ☺obviously threw it away though

Whats a c#ck is that texting code or something?

 

[Bridie Bhoy]

Didn't happen to me, but whilst staying with a family in France, one of my team-mates (who went on to have a decent career with Forfar, Dunfermline and also in Australia) thought that a bidet was a shitey for bairns and laid a cable so thick you'd need a hacksaw to cut through it.

He came through the room and asked me how to flush it and that was when we heard the screams of the anguished French woman we were staying with.

That jobbie had a short, but happy life and received a humane burial in their back garden.

Was the pooper a prolific goal scorer who is a manager for another Angus team?

 

[Spherical Planet]

One

Was the pooper a prolific goal scorer who is a manager for another Angus team?

One and the same. He's now a bank manager for Bank of Shitland in Dundee too.......no wonder the government had to bail them oot!!!

 

[boab1916]

Was the pooper a prolific goal scorer who is a manager for another Angus team?

You should work in the DNA department that was quickly analysed

 

[The Shamrock]

You should work in the DNA department that was quickly analysed

He works in the Sewage Dept.

 

[Bridie Bhoy]

You should work in the DNA department that was quickly analysed

Some insider knowledge about it being an ex-Forfar player.

 

[boab1916]

Some insider knowledge about it being an ex-Forfar player.

Shaped like a Forfar bridie

 

[Weedocbhoy60]

He works in the Sewage Dept.

oh shit!!

 

[The Shamrock]

oh shit!!

He says that every morning.

 

[Spherical Planet]

He works in the Sewage Dept.

That would be stew-age dept, Shammy

 

[michael duffy]

Findin oot ah won the box in the draw!

 

[Andy H]

In a pub on xmas evening I started to tell a joke "how do you circumcise a priest" and everyone went deathly quiet as I was about to deliver the punchline so I instinctively looked around to see who was standing behind me.....the parish priest.

You can't leave us hanging like that. What's the punchline