Funny but true !

[Millsy]

Having watched and enjoyed ( mostly ) football for 6 decades , I am pleasantly astonished that the ''great intellects'' that comprise the football family still manage to come up with comedy gold when discussing the game .
I mentioned on another thread the legend ( or blimp ) that is BFDJ had said that the system used by EBT against Israel was fine , ''...it was just that the players didn't know what to do .''
This had me recalling some of the quotes from various decades of football that have had me in stitches . Members on here will no doubt have better memories than me but here are a couple of my favourites :

The passing of John Lambie recently brought to mind his memorable aid to coaching : A Thistle player went down with a head knock - the physio ran over to Lambie and told him the player was concussed and didn't know who he was . ''Tell him he's f***ing Pele and get him back on ! '' shouted Lambie .

The late Ron Atkinson ( of various clubs ) once remarked after a defeat : '' I make a habit of not criticising referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat !''

 

[BertieBhoy]

"I don't think there is anyone bigger or smaller than Maradona." - Kevin Keegan

 

[Brimcbhoy]

'I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one.' - Brian Clough.

 

[Brimcbhoy]

"If any one of my players isn’t interfering with play, they’re not getting paid." Brian Clough.
(On changes to the offside rule)

 

[CalumHH]

"We have the best squad in Scotland" - Pedro Caixinha

 

[stilsound]

:You can see the ball go past them, or the man, but you'll never see both man and ball go past at the same time. So if the ball goes past, the man won't, or if the man goes past they'll take the ball: - Ron Atkinson, then again it could easily be a Screech quote

 

[Wee Fergus's Bunnet]

''What would you be if you weren't a professional footballer ?'' asked the interviewer .

''A virgin ! '' replied Peter Crouch .

''We didn't underestimate them , they were just better than we thought '' Bobby Robson

 

[Lubos left peg]

Every single word that has came out of the mouth of every manager at sevco since 2012 has had me in stitches ??

 

[Wee Fergus's Bunnet]

Loved the story told by Bobby Lennox ( I think ) about Jock Stein ,
After a particularly bad first half , Stein was going round the dressing room blasting everyone of the players in turn .
Bobby wasn't playing that day so sat in the corner keeping his head down thankful that he was not on the raging Stein's hit list . Suddenly he sees Stein's feet stop next to him and looks up .
''And as for you '' says Big Jock '' how bad are you that you canny even get a game ! ''

 

[Millsy]

''I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league '' Mark Viduka .

''I've had 14 bookings this season , 8 of which were my fault but 7 of which were disputable ''. Paul Gascoigne - just another reason why he shouldn't be in any hall of fame .

 

[The Galway shawl]

'The captain of this club won't being going anywhere unless for an awful..awful lot of money ' Steve DJ fighter Gerrard...fhunkin nearly flooded the neighbours downstairs pishing maesel at that beauty!??

 

[Theverdict]

I love the story wee Bertie tells.

They were in the tunnel ready to take the field and John Grieg shouts to Bertie

What Bonus you on the day wee man?

Bertie replied £3

We are on £6

Aye said Bertie, but we’re fucking guaranteed £3.

KERPOW!!!

How do you like them apples John?

Absolute belter the bold Bertie.

 

[Chubbstar 51]

Every single word that has came out of the mouth of every manager at sevco since 2012 has had me in stitches ??

That post is CLASS says it all can’t add anything to that brilliant. h.h

 

[Thai Tommy]

That was not a 5-1 game
The "Breadman"

 

[Thai Tommy]

"I don't think there is anyone bigger or smaller than Maradona." - Kevin Keegan

Kebab came out with some belter when he were excited

 

[Thai Tommy]

Steven Gerrard will only leave Rangers?? for a a top 4 EPL team.
Said by some back to the future professor's (2) in sports Scotland

 

[Jimbo55]

Bobby Lennox after sustaining a broken leg v the huns
When asked when did he realise his leg was broken replied " as soon as I looked across and saw John Greig about to tackle me "