It’s Saturday night …

JamSam67

Well-known member
What you call council workers, we call the Muni, apart from several other names
One day they showed up for work to find all their shovels had been nicked
They phoned the boss, "Somebody's stolen all the shovels"
Boss replied: "FFS !!! Lean against each other, till I get there !!!"
When the public moan at us it’s usually I piy yir wages don’t like it when your reply is gies a piy rise then ya miserable
Or ones Council tax pays your wages
Where do you live the Castle hen.
favourite when mad
I want your name reply
Get your own it’s mine.
When SEPA came on site I had to do the Rounds of the site when she asked how many worked here I answered half of thum
She was dumbstruck I was downgraded

HH 😂
 

DILLIGAF

Well-known member
Same at the airlines mate
"I pay your wages"
"Where's my bags !!!"
Had a few 'scuffles' when passengers didn't hear what they wanted
I was a lead hand and the stories I could tell, would fill a book
One Hollywood actress was an absolute fuckwit, when 2 of her 3 bags didn't arrive from LHR
She wandered around tossing her long blonde hair (LOOK AT ME I'M A STAR !!!) bending forward at the waist, grabbing her long golden locks and tossing her hair back, all while wearing sunglasses...in the building...eh, that's naw how ye 'do' incognito hen :rolleyes:
BA had sent a message that some containers were not loaded (Contract negotiations were not going well in London apparently, and our brothers at LHR, were pissed off
So, we were to expect some backlash from the arriving passengers
The female agent (an absolute sweetheart) made an announcement, that some bags were going to be delayed, and would passengers please start lining up as they had the names
Of course, Ms Hollywood wasn';t having that...walking around the Customs Hall looking at all the carousels, no matter which airlines they were scheduled to have bags come down the belts from
Eventually after realising she was onto hee haw, and that 100 people were lined up, she makes her way to the front and starts to shout "Hey, where's my fucking bags !!!"
No matter how the girl tried to placate her, she was going mental
Her vocabulary was quite extensive and rather than thinking wow, she's a looker, everybody thought "What an entitled cunt) she used that word quite a bit too
After a few minutes of this, she approached me..."Hey, where's my fucking bags...???"
I looked her straight in the eye and said in my most Glaswegian accent..."I don't fucking know" and walked away to check on how the unloading of the flight was going
She was not happy, but got the point that no one was putting up with her childish shit and sat crying, that her bags were still in London
One of the nicest guys I met was Pierce Brosnan, a very nice, down to earth Irishman, who stayed and spoke to me for about half an hour
Anyway, we all have our stories of work

Thankfully, I am retired and am the CEO of me, so don't have to deal with the general public

HH
 

The Shamrock

Well-known member
Same at the airlines mate
"I pay your wages"
"Where's my bags !!!"
Had a few 'scuffles' when passengers didn't hear what they wanted
I was a lead hand and the stories I could tell, would fill a book
One Hollywood actress was an absolute fuckwit, when 2 of her 3 bags didn't arrive from LHR
She wandered around tossing her long blonde hair (LOOK AT ME I'M A STAR !!!) bending forward at the waist, grabbing her long golden locks and tossing her hair back, all while wearing sunglasses...in the building...eh, that's naw how ye 'do' incognito hen :rolleyes:
BA had sent a message that some containers were not loaded (Contract negotiations were not going well in London apparently, and our brothers at LHR, were pissed off
So, we were to expect some backlash from the arriving passengers
The female agent (an absolute sweetheart) made an announcement, that some bags were going to be delayed, and would passengers please start lining up as they had the names
Of course, Ms Hollywood wasn';t having that...walking around the Customs Hall looking at all the carousels, no matter which airlines they were scheduled to have bags come down the belts from
Eventually after realising she was onto hee haw, and that 100 people were lined up, she makes her way to the front and starts to shout "Hey, where's my fucking bags !!!"
No matter how the girl tried to placate her, she was going mental
Her vocabulary was quite extensive and rather than thinking wow, she's a looker, everybody thought "What an entitled cunt) she used that word quite a bit too
After a few minutes of this, she approached me..."Hey, where's my fucking bags...???"
I looked her straight in the eye and said in my most Glaswegian accent..."I don't fucking know" and walked away to check on how the unloading of the flight was going
She was not happy, but got the point that no one was putting up with her childish shit and sat crying, that her bags were still in London
One of the nicest guys I met was Pierce Brosnan, a very nice, down to earth Irishman, who stayed and spoke to me for about half an hour
Anyway, we all have our stories of work

Thankfully, I am retired and am the CEO of me, so don't have to deal with the general public

HH
Och, tell us who it was Dill. 👂
 

Hoopy427

Well-known member
When I left school I "worked" for the council, I was told off in my first week for working too hard, then I got bollocked for mentioning a work related issue during a lunch break, I nearly got strung up for starting 10 minutes early one morning and was forced to finish 10 minutes early to make up for it!
Then they had a union meeting and I wasn't in the union I was too young I think, I said I'll just sit an my desk an carry on working while you're having your meeting? Fuck me you'd have thought I said I've just shot your dug! About 6 of the shouted at me you canny work during a union meeting laddy!!
But I'm no in the union 🤷‍♂️
That was the wrong answer, I was forced to walk round the town for 2 hours in the pishing rain while they had a meeting that revolved around how they could get away with doing even less than nothing. Absolute fuckin shambles!
I lasted 7 weeks then escaped. About 12 years later I did 92 hours in 5 days for Barratt including a 34 hour shift and I remember thinking I wonder what my old cooncil pals would make of this! 😳
 

DILLIGAF

Well-known member
I used to do 13 hour shifts, 3 days a week, with Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday off
It was perfect as I ran two small side businesses and I was off most of the Summer and every Christmas, seniority ruled back in the day
I knew a guy who went off on compo for a couple of months, every Summer, he wasn't senior enough to hold the vacation
He was a lazy fucker and nobody liked him, he was always pulling strokes that benefited him and fuck the younger guys, who were great workers, and great guys
One Summer, we're in the break room, and the news comes on
A golf tournament where they will pay one million dollars for a hole in one
They interview some of the golfers
There's buddy, on camera, talking to the reporter, gives his name and then hits the ball
He couldn't work because of his back injury but he could go play golf
As I said...cunt
He was told to report to HQ for a hearing and they played the tape...he decided to quit, rather than be fired, and prosecuted for fraud by WCB
There IS a God
 

lcafiero

Well-known member
I want your name reply
Get your own it’s mine.
Hilarious! As a city worker, I'm only required, if asked, to give my number. They didn't say I couldn't embellish it, so rather than giving people my number when asked by irate customers, I would give them the name of athletes who had worn that number on various sports teams.

My boss, as an aside whose surname is Larsson (no relation), knows who it is if I get reported. Which admittedly is rare.

I've gone by Kobe Bryant, Alexander Ovechkin ("could you spell that please?"), Lawrence Berra ("but my friends call me 'Yogi' "), and others.

And Scott Brown, because my number (in my department) is 8. I don't think I'd get away with Kyogo Furuhashi, though . . .
 

DILLIGAF

Well-known member
Hilarious! As a city worker, I'm only required, if asked, to give my number. They didn't say I couldn't embellish it, so rather than giving people my number when asked by irate customers, I would give them the name of athletes who had worn that number on various sports teams.

My boss, as an aside whose surname is Larsson (no relation), knows who it is if I get reported. Which admittedly is rare.

I've gone by Kobe Bryant, Alexander Ovechkin ("could you spell that please?"), Lawrence Berra ("but my friends call me 'Yogi' "), and others.

And Scott Brown, because my number (in my department) is 8. I don't think I'd get away with Kyogo Furuhashi, though . . .
There's a big department store here called LOBLAWS
Just tell them your name is BOB LOBLAW, but say it fast ;-)
 

JamSam67

Well-known member
Hilarious! As a city worker, I'm only required, if asked, to give my number. They didn't say I couldn't embellish it, so rather than giving people my number when asked by irate customers, I would give them the name of athletes who had worn that number on various sports teams.

My boss, as an aside whose surname is Larsson (no relation), knows who it is if I get reported. Which admittedly is rare.

I've gone by Kobe Bryant, Alexander Ovechkin ("could you spell that please?"), Lawrence Berra ("but my friends call me 'Yogi' "), and others.

And Scott Brown, because my number (in my department) is 8. I don't think I'd get away with Kyogo Furuhashi, though . . .
Once was forced by a mad Womhun for my name repeatedly told her we don’t give our names told her I’m the site supervisor nope I want your name told her it’s Jack full name cunt told her no it’s Jack Majoabin
Spell it so did she left the site but came Back 30 minutes later with her Man
With a booking he asked for Jack Majoabin so up I came he shook Ma hand said the daft cow still disnae get it. One of the female members said her name was Rhu
Bish she was an Aussie daft as a brush

HH 😂
 

Hoopy427

Well-known member
Just been at a Burger King....
Bacon double cheese burger meal please.
Do you want XL?
No just regular I'm not a fat bastard.....

Received tiny bag.

Ahh instead of asking do you want XL? You should have asked if I wanted a regular one or this fucking half sized miniature thing you've created just to get everyone to buy an XL.

Bastards 😾
 

DILLIGAF

Well-known member
This was McDonald's commercial in the 70's
"YOU DESERVE A BREAK TODAY" was their slogan
I remember someone threw a brick through one of their restaurant windows, in the early hours of the morning, when it was closed
It had a note attached..."You deserve a brick today"
 

DILLIGAF

Well-known member
Hot wings are the only thing I eat there too.
To each their own
I don't eat at any fast food restaurants
Rotten Ronnie's is popular with the weans of course, and there's Burger King & the Dairy Queen, as well as Wendy's, with their square burgers, but when you're hungry and in need of a bite to eat...go for it
Loved the Still Game clip with Jack & Victor, trying to get a free meal at mickey D's
 

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