Smelltheg-love
Well-known member
Sure that Wisnae SP hoopy ?I had another checkout incident today, nipped into a coop for some fags and a sandwich, a right jakey bastard getting served in front of me, 2pm pished oot his nut, hun written right across his fat face, buying 2 bottles of buckfast (2 of his 5 a day) then he spunked 45 quid on lottery tickets! 45 bloody quid!
I couldny help myself, said to him what will you do if you win? Give up the day job, stay at home and get pished?
Fortunately he was so pished he didn't comprehend the simple question and just grunted so I never got lamped with a bottle of buckie, cashier found it funny though.
mind the shop on Saturday I was paying for stuff and thought, fuck it, I’m gonni do the lotto, you never know your luck, I don’t do it
Being a numbers man you’d be better sending the money to my bank details given below
So with this feeling of the weans may be my lucky charms, who wants to do a lottery ticket ?
They fought over the tickets, spilling 1000 everywhere, fought over then pen, wouldn’t listen to a fucking word I said about filling in a lottery ticket
So the woman serving pipes up
You look as though you need help
Yes, correct I said, thanks, I’ll pick them up in an hour or two … oh right, sorry
She says I can put them on here if the kids pick the numbers
Ok right pick the numbers between 1 and 59
Oldest 1 and 59
Youngest
No I want them
eventually one at a time cajoled them into numbers surrounding date of births etc
Here’s your ticket (with both lines)
But we want one each, no that’s it, one ticket, yi can share it, take a shot each holding it
cue that fucking look you get when your weans are like… dad let’s not fuck about here, you know the way it works, we’re not in the house, we hold the fucking cards, say no one more time and we’ll embarrass you by crying fighting etc
And if that didnae work, we heard mum swearing (likely about you), we’ll use it at your peril
Aye ok, can we get another ticket with the same numbers please, it’s only £8
If it wins I’ll win the jackpot twice I think
Gets to the front of Gourock, feck it, wee bit of sea air is good for them. Meets pal and starts yapping, he leaves and they’re not hearing me talk to them , focus is elsewhere
I’m like now in the middle of them
What’s going on, what you looking at
We’re seeing whose lottery ticket floats the longest dad
think I’m better buying raffle tickets in future, anyone know of any raffles happening
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