Melancholy tonight, any funny stories

Espiritosanto

Well-known member
#5
Espiritisanto. You not got a funny story for a ghirl 😊
Aye me an ma big mucker we’re at the gym last week on the treadmills am on no1 some nugget on no2 he’s on no3,,we like a jaw jaw so this wee poser instead of letting us be next to each other keeps going,,she gets aff to go for a pee,ma mate jumps on but dizny turn his aff,she came back stepped on his and went face first into treadmill then wizzed back into a rowing machine,,,,,,,,πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚pure shame ,,same age as ma lassie felt bad ???for a minute....
 

TET

Well-known member
#6
Came across this wee dude Jimmy Young from Belfast yesterday by sheer fluke. And i find his comedy hilarious.

Quite a versatile wee comedian and ivbe never even heard him before
 

tictastic

Well-known member
#7
There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke.
After one particularly nasty example, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started.
The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he walked in and said, β€œGood morning, class. Did you hear the one about the shortage of whores in India?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
β€œWait, ladies,” cried the professor, β€œThe boat doesn't leave until tomorrow!”
 

tictastic

Well-known member
#8
One day, God met with Adam in the garden of Eden
"Hey Adam, I have two new organs for you," said god
"What are they?" Adam Replied
"Well," said God, "We have a brain, which will let you make intelligent decisions and hold conversations with Eve."
"That's Great!" Adam said, "What's the other one?"
"That would be a penis," God replied, "It will let you make offspring to populate the Earth. However, there is one downside."
Adam asked, "What is it?"
"Well, I only have enough blood to let you use one at a time."
 
M

Maria

Guest
#12
Aye me an ma big mucker we’re at the gym last week on the treadmills am on no1 some nugget on no2 he’s on no3,,we like a jaw jaw so this wee poser instead of letting us be next to each other keeps going,,she gets aff to go for a pee,ma mate jumps on but dizny turn his aff,she came back stepped on his and went face first into treadmill then wizzed back into a rowing machine,,,,,,,,πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚pure shame ,,same age as ma lassie felt bad ???for a minute....

Haha i hate posers. 🀣🀣
 

Millsy

Well-known member
#13
Wee Irish fella never been in a city before arrives in Glasgow to see the 'Tic . Standing in the city centre he stares at the traffic lights for so long that a passerby asks him what's wrong .
''Wrong ? Nothing's wrong - in fact this is a great place . ''
Points to the traffic lights - ''They don't give these orange c*nts any time at all to cross the road , but the Tims get loads ! ''
 
M

Maria

Guest
#15
There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke.
After one particularly nasty example, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started.
The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he walked in and said, β€œGood morning, class. Did you hear the one about the shortage of whores in India?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
β€œWait, ladies,” cried the professor, β€œThe boat doesn't leave until tomorrow!”

Haha fkn pmsl peach 🀣🀣
 
M

Maria

Guest
#16
One day, God met with Adam in the garden of Eden
"Hey Adam, I have two new organs for you," said god
"What are they?" Adam Replied
"Well," said God, "We have a brain, which will let you make intelligent decisions and hold conversations with Eve."
"That's Great!" Adam said, "What's the other one?"
"That would be a penis," God replied, "It will let you make offspring to populate the Earth. However, there is one downside."
Adam asked, "What is it?"
"Well, I only have enough blood to let you use one at a time."

How true, how very true πŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺ
 
M

Maria

Guest
#20
Wee Irish fella never been in a city before arrives in Glasgow to see the 'Tic . Standing in the city centre he stares at the traffic lights for so long that a passerby asks him what's wrong .
''Wrong ? Nothing's wrong - in fact this is a great place . ''
Points to the traffic lights - ''They don't give these orange c*nts any time at all to cross the road , but the Tims get loads ! ''

Fkn belter πŸ‘πŸ‘
 
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