Melancholy tonight, any funny stories

[Maria]

Apologies for my profanities.

You ain’t seen me in action K ?

 

[Espiritosanto]

Aw Michael wassup.

I was banging out the tunes the day in work. Smashed my target.

Then got into the car and thought is this my fkn life.

Got to his maws and really wanted to fkn scream.

Got home and cnto son thinks its ok to smirk as his trackin report says hes below par.

Sick fkn carrying men so i am.

Well he got telt. Buck up or get a fkn job.

Swear a want to run like fk and no come back.

God help them if i do.

Apart fae aidy. Of course.

Is it to be raining tomorrow?

Naw bone dry,

 

[Maria]

Picture the scene.

I was sitting in my Taxi a few nights ago, Not much happening. It was raining, all cosy, windows steaming up. I decided to watch a film on my phone. About an hour into it, (Still waiting on a job) The system alerts me to my next job... And it's a puddle jumper. A minimum fare, as this job was the shortest I could have possibly got. Considering I was all cosy, I shouted "YA FUCKIN LAZY BASTART" at the screen. Not sure if I was annoyed my viewing was interrupted, or the fact i'd waited over an hour for a shite job. At the same time as shouting, A wee Man was walking his dug doon the street, I could see him looking around, wondering where the fuck the shouting was coming from. I then started laughing uncontrollably and drove away to do the job. I laughed all the way to the pick up, and during the journey, The passengers thought I was mad. I obviously wasn't telling them the cause.

Just read that and can relate.

I often think of things then pure pmsl in the strangest places.

Its like chatting on here. Its kosher but then i forget my tongue and tell my boss to get the resting bitch face off ... oops

Only i can get away wi that ???

 

[Maria]

Naw bone dry,

Is it really. This important so tell me

 

[The Deadner]

Hey you how you do-in.

Where you been at Irish. I missed yer cheek ?

Which one? My right cheek or my left cheek?

 

[Maria]

Which one? My right cheek or my left cheek?

Their both connected tae yer belly button ?

 

[The Deadner]

Their both connected tae yer belly button ?

What's the craic ? Why are ye down in the dumps?

 

[Espiritosanto]

Is it really. This important so tell me

Why’s it matter wether it wet or dry??your wedding day?

 

[Maria]

What's the craic ? Why are ye down in the dumps?

Life, Irish. Just fkn life.
Im sick of doing everything for ungrateful men and im ready to put masel on the tata channel to get some fkn peace.

Put them on notice a fortnight ago but old habits die hard.

Anyway this is riddles and would take years to explain.

I just want to live n breathe and run away ?

 

[michael duffy]

So its to be raining?

absolutely heavin doon and the added bonus of 70 mph winds!!!!!!

 

[Espiritosanto]

a nice wee song afore you go to bawbaws zzzzzzzzzzz

 

[Maria]

Why’s it matter wether it wet or dry??your wedding day?

Wit am a? A fkn mug. Not a chance pal will any fkr get me down the aisle again.

Once was enough. My eyes were truly opened and i walked soon after. Fk that shit.

 

[Maria]

absolutely heavin doon and the added bonus of 70 mph winds!!!!!!

I was actually going to wear white tomorrow. Defo no wedding dress. But ye shouldnt wear white when it rains.

 

[Espiritosanto]

try again !

 

[Maria]

a nice wee song afore you go to bawbaws zzzzzzzzzzz

It said theres an error and wont play bigcheese wit is it? ?

 

[Espiritosanto]

Or flip flops?

 

[The Deadner]

Far away fields seem greener, until you get there!

 

[Lemon]

Anyone, someone, please tell me a story... a happy or funny one please.

I know a few could do with it.

Check out "Tam" on the BBC iplayer for a 15 minute glaswegian version of Tam O'Shanter
Made me laugh anyway.

 

[Espiritosanto]

Am a total fandan way technology but a think a managed to get it on,,,,wee chill song for you ,,you sound like u need it,,,

 

[Maria]

Aw thats lovely, when are you singing to me? ?