No stoppage time??

The new ruling is being enforced as the Hoops surge towards the TEN:

Referees are permitted to deduct 30 seconds form calculated injury time for every fenian goal scored.

In shorthand it is known as 'the depression amendment'.

A variation of it is permitted in the unlikely event of the Hoops losing, whereby the MIB is entitled to ignore the addition of stoppage time completely to facilitate group masturbation in the officials dressing room.

This is referred to as 'the Joy Division clause', after their Third Reich role models.
 
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