Smelltheg-love
Well-known member
Hello hello
Outer Hebrides Corporation calling civilisation
More nonsense in a minute but first....
The drunken ramblings of a sheepishly yet joyous high fella who views life through the lens of being a son and basks in the joy of being a father.
My friend was messaging earlier and I was a faither before him so was the guy that he reached out to for guidance.
i was honest with him. The first 4/5 months consist of feeds, piss, sick, a realisation that in the worst smelling shite imaginable awards, size doesn't matter.
Throw in the numerous unannounced visitors and the many meltdowns from weans mother and its not what you thought it was gonni be.
But in amongst the tears, spotters, shite and baby tv, feeling down, out of the blue, you pick up this wee thing and you get a smile...
At first you think its luck, but then it happens again and you realise its you shes smiling at. Thats the moment when you feel like a daddy...
She knows you and that smile is for you.
It happens again and you know its no fluke. Every second you held them, its payback.
Shes smiling cos your her daddy.
In that moment, everything changes, you dont realise it but you've just walked through a door and the rest of your life is on the other side. Your a father for real now. It was a fucking chore with no end yesterday but you've been rewarded now and your hooked.
Over the next period in time your hooked and you form a bond like no other you've ever had. Its overwhelming but its a joy like no other.
I remember many things about those days, being a dad. Watching and thinking, this is the only part of my life I can't remember and im pretty sure it was the same for me as them.
The other, one day sitting with my maw yapping. Maw pipes up, that weans gonni be a nosey bastard.... ffs maw what makes you think that...... well she's on her back, canni move either way and she's in front of baby TV. All those colours and all that music. and look at her, she's breaking her fucking back to see what were up to. When you know, you know
It took me to be a faither to understand my maw, appreciate her even. The fire in her is quite something, ive always known I would never feel a love like hers, but could never understand why she'd also be the one to serve me reality in a fucking cold sandwich. She showed me what a mothers love is in essence, it wasnt all hugs and kisses, it was giving every fucking ounce of her being and every penny to a selfish ungrateful trio of kids that made her life difficult. And no matter how shit we tried to be and ungrateful we were, she saw it for what is was and really was the adult in the mix. Selfless, fearless, patient, kind and funny.
Fucking hilarious.
Thats my maw, wee Mags
Fuck I've went away on one.
So me, ive thought long and hard about what I can try to do better. In the 10 years I've been a faither, us parents have been separated for 9 of them.
In those 9 years, I've never missed a weekend, fucked of stags, nights out etc.
I love being a dad. I've often thought my weans will realise that I've put them first. All this XYZ i tell myself... im a good dad cos I've never missed a weekend.....
Feck I had them this whole holiday week. They went hame at 11am. I thought all week, ive not a weekend in 10 years. I can do this that or the other.
When they left i was cheering, they were laughing. 2 hours later, I was asking their maw if they could come back.
Now, loving or appreciating time with your kids ain't being a good parent. Its being present im told.
I've thought ahead, and it scares the shite out of me. My folks were award winning parents, but you couldn't tell them you'd winched a bird never mind shagged one. Their parenting went as far as the front door then you were on your own. They just couldn't engage with me on the life that faced a teenager in the nuthouse that was Greenock. Shock and awe is a fair description of growing up, eventually you realise maws and dad's respect nice boys but in the fucking reality your living, maws manners need replaced by a sharp wit which gets you out of trouble and a realisation that one day youll face someone who wants to take his life out on you.
In that moment your fighting cos you feel like you dont have a choice. This cunts fighting cos hes fucking angry about xyz. He really needs a cuddle but you realise that 20 years too late. Anyhow, you need to dig deep to find something somewhere. Your brother getting the sweetie out the cereal or you maw not cooking your favourite on a Tuesday ain't a thing anymore.
Perspective and whose perspective matter.
Anyhow, back to my reality.
I ponder how in today's world how to be a good faither. My folks were awesome but they were fucking clueless about the reality which was my life. If you want your kids to talk to you, how far do you go and how horrible does it feel.
Alternatively, stick your fingers in your ears and hope for the best like my folks.
They had kids at 18, 20 and 23. Kids themselves.
Me i think ill tell my kids....
When your dad was growing up, he was a fucking idiot looking back. Aye held onto a job as an accountant, but literally there's nothing on earth that I haven't indulged other than smack, crack and cock.
But then i think WTF ....... maybe not
The kids have been unbridled joy till now.
But all of a sudden ones hit hips and bits in the nicest possible way.
Now im fucking lost.
Shes unchanged, hugs, kisses and love.
Me, im like she's a woman now....
She still looks at me like she always has.
I've realised ill always be here dad...
But while shell always be my daughter, she'll be a teenager first then a woman.
This thread started seeking examples of good or bad parenting you remember or thoughts on how you navigated your own kids.
I know there will be some with shit memories, but there will be those who were great sons and shite parents and vice versa.
In my stoned state, im questioning what a great parent was in my day and what it looks like now.
As a kid you judged your folks in a different world than today
Anyhow better end this somewhere
God bless, fuck trump, Netanyahu, the IDF, the UVF, the prostitute that promised me.. ach never mind
Outer Hebrides Corporation calling civilisation
More nonsense in a minute but first....
The drunken ramblings of a sheepishly yet joyous high fella who views life through the lens of being a son and basks in the joy of being a father.
My friend was messaging earlier and I was a faither before him so was the guy that he reached out to for guidance.
i was honest with him. The first 4/5 months consist of feeds, piss, sick, a realisation that in the worst smelling shite imaginable awards, size doesn't matter.
Throw in the numerous unannounced visitors and the many meltdowns from weans mother and its not what you thought it was gonni be.
But in amongst the tears, spotters, shite and baby tv, feeling down, out of the blue, you pick up this wee thing and you get a smile...
At first you think its luck, but then it happens again and you realise its you shes smiling at. Thats the moment when you feel like a daddy...
She knows you and that smile is for you.
It happens again and you know its no fluke. Every second you held them, its payback.
Shes smiling cos your her daddy.
In that moment, everything changes, you dont realise it but you've just walked through a door and the rest of your life is on the other side. Your a father for real now. It was a fucking chore with no end yesterday but you've been rewarded now and your hooked.
Over the next period in time your hooked and you form a bond like no other you've ever had. Its overwhelming but its a joy like no other.
I remember many things about those days, being a dad. Watching and thinking, this is the only part of my life I can't remember and im pretty sure it was the same for me as them.
The other, one day sitting with my maw yapping. Maw pipes up, that weans gonni be a nosey bastard.... ffs maw what makes you think that...... well she's on her back, canni move either way and she's in front of baby TV. All those colours and all that music. and look at her, she's breaking her fucking back to see what were up to. When you know, you know
It took me to be a faither to understand my maw, appreciate her even. The fire in her is quite something, ive always known I would never feel a love like hers, but could never understand why she'd also be the one to serve me reality in a fucking cold sandwich. She showed me what a mothers love is in essence, it wasnt all hugs and kisses, it was giving every fucking ounce of her being and every penny to a selfish ungrateful trio of kids that made her life difficult. And no matter how shit we tried to be and ungrateful we were, she saw it for what is was and really was the adult in the mix. Selfless, fearless, patient, kind and funny.
Fucking hilarious.
Thats my maw, wee Mags
Fuck I've went away on one.
So me, ive thought long and hard about what I can try to do better. In the 10 years I've been a faither, us parents have been separated for 9 of them.
In those 9 years, I've never missed a weekend, fucked of stags, nights out etc.
I love being a dad. I've often thought my weans will realise that I've put them first. All this XYZ i tell myself... im a good dad cos I've never missed a weekend.....
Feck I had them this whole holiday week. They went hame at 11am. I thought all week, ive not a weekend in 10 years. I can do this that or the other.
When they left i was cheering, they were laughing. 2 hours later, I was asking their maw if they could come back.
Now, loving or appreciating time with your kids ain't being a good parent. Its being present im told.
I've thought ahead, and it scares the shite out of me. My folks were award winning parents, but you couldn't tell them you'd winched a bird never mind shagged one. Their parenting went as far as the front door then you were on your own. They just couldn't engage with me on the life that faced a teenager in the nuthouse that was Greenock. Shock and awe is a fair description of growing up, eventually you realise maws and dad's respect nice boys but in the fucking reality your living, maws manners need replaced by a sharp wit which gets you out of trouble and a realisation that one day youll face someone who wants to take his life out on you.
In that moment your fighting cos you feel like you dont have a choice. This cunts fighting cos hes fucking angry about xyz. He really needs a cuddle but you realise that 20 years too late. Anyhow, you need to dig deep to find something somewhere. Your brother getting the sweetie out the cereal or you maw not cooking your favourite on a Tuesday ain't a thing anymore.
Perspective and whose perspective matter.
Anyhow, back to my reality.
I ponder how in today's world how to be a good faither. My folks were awesome but they were fucking clueless about the reality which was my life. If you want your kids to talk to you, how far do you go and how horrible does it feel.
Alternatively, stick your fingers in your ears and hope for the best like my folks.
They had kids at 18, 20 and 23. Kids themselves.
Me i think ill tell my kids....
When your dad was growing up, he was a fucking idiot looking back. Aye held onto a job as an accountant, but literally there's nothing on earth that I haven't indulged other than smack, crack and cock.
But then i think WTF ....... maybe not
The kids have been unbridled joy till now.
But all of a sudden ones hit hips and bits in the nicest possible way.
Now im fucking lost.
Shes unchanged, hugs, kisses and love.
Me, im like she's a woman now....
She still looks at me like she always has.
I've realised ill always be here dad...
But while shell always be my daughter, she'll be a teenager first then a woman.
This thread started seeking examples of good or bad parenting you remember or thoughts on how you navigated your own kids.
I know there will be some with shit memories, but there will be those who were great sons and shite parents and vice versa.
In my stoned state, im questioning what a great parent was in my day and what it looks like now.
As a kid you judged your folks in a different world than today
Anyhow better end this somewhere
God bless, fuck trump, Netanyahu, the IDF, the UVF, the prostitute that promised me.. ach never mind
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