Sandman
Well-known member
Continued From Part 1. Fucking Obviously...
CORPUS CHRISTIE - 6/10
Flattered to deceive. Beautiful ball to set Calmac up for the first goal. BUT, count those misplaced passes - particularly first half... at least a half dozen straightforward played in error, breaking up out moves, allowing the opposition to counter. His energy was dynamic as we've come to admire but his touch and effectiveness were definitely muted.
This may be due to having to play with only one leg after McGinn surgically removed his other in a 'yellow' card challenge that summed up Scottish football and Refereeing in one crystallizing moment of brutality, incompetence and cheating.
Should still be a starter come the Hate Factory jolly bhoys outing, bionic leg permitting.
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG REDUX - 9/10
Impact. That's what we want when we watch Sincy rev up those dancing feet. And he's finally looking like the exhilarating streak of noodle-noggined hooped lightning that took our breath away two seasons ago. There's an air of unfinished business about him when something doesn't come off; not the resignation of recent times. And when he's on the ball he's looking alive to possibilities; enthusiastic for damage to be done.
Belief in himself is the first stage. Devastating contribution is the second - we got that today: the movement and the finish for his and Celtic's second absolutely top-drawer.
The third stage of the Sincy trifecta is something we've witnessed before with utter joy - a Hunskelping cyclone let loose. We could be witnessing the second coming.
Subs:
FRENCH EDDY - 9/10
He's pish. Canny trap a baw. Canny run, canny tackle, isny interested. 9 Mullyin my erse, etc, etc... Stated the philosophers stoned.
Devastating display of that price tag and potential as he entered the arena freezing and sheared a few sheep, skinning them alive and making a nice cosy fleece of le fuck-you for Liar Logan (LIAR!) as he dragged him flailing into the box, like a priapic scrapyard Alsatian slobbering after a pedigree bitch in heat; proceeded to set up Sincy's hat-trick with a nonchalant flick to the side and Gallic shrug.
Pulled that first goal of his out of nothing; looked an impossible finish, dinked it as if he was Tiger Woods on the pitch and put.
Eddy Mercury lives. Don't be afraid, Huns. It's too late for goodbyes. Just weep. He's not coming; He's already here.
HAYES - 8/10
The Christmas miracle. A great performance from Johnny Aw-Fuck-Not-Him-Again-Why-Can't-The-Young-Boys-Get-A-Game-Instead Hayes.
And it's GOOD to see an honest trier who keeps his heid down and his hopes up, play a pivotal role in a big win. Came on to groans, left to cheers - spot on positioning to strengthen our left flank, great endeavour up and down the wing, defending and offering an attacking threat they became wary of and chose to defend instead of making so many forays down that side.
An interesting afternoon for us all as Johnny Hayes arrived at last with a thought-provoking display that shows us we have another left-sided option for wing-back.
AJER - 5/10
Big man still not up to full Praetorian guard mettle - lost his man at their third, needs more game-time to get back in his stride.
BR - 7/10
Genius or lucky? Tactically clever or randomly fortunate? Went without a striker, brought on a striker and won the game. Did we pummel them if Eddy Mercury started? Or did we burn out a main player needlessly before Saturday? these things will be discussed. For two days. Then we'll pump the Huns rigid and BR will be a Ghod again and we'll all be too happily pished with New Year brevity to care about anything more than
ripping it out the zombies. Must be great to be Celtic manager. Almost as good as being a Celtic fan.
OVERALL - 6/10
Big win, massive result, poor performance for the middle hour of the game. WHY do we decide to slow down games? To slow down games to the oppositions pace, I must point out.
There seems to be a consensus at Celtic that this is 'controlling' the game. Don't we learn in Europe
getting slaughtered by the big boys?
You control a game by blistering their eyelids off with pace and smashing them for as many quick goals as you can, THEN settling into a zipping pace that allows you to recuperate but still has them lurching around like demented chimpanzees chasing the last watermelon in a drought.
i.e you play the game at YOUR pace, not drop it to theirs. We have the class to outplay anyone in Scotland at high tempo. We seem to quit and conserve far too early - like today, after 15 minutes and only one up we began to drop deep and invite them on.
No. Blitz them until they're gasping for mercy.
Don't let them make a scrap of it - the Dons, The Huns, Hibs, all got enough about them to be encouraged by Celtic's torpor.
About time we went full throttle for as much of the 90 as we can. Saturday would be a start. No mercy, show the world what you can do, bhoys. Blow them away.
GOLLUM - HarDeHar/10
Had to mention the simpering goon with the eyes in the back of his heid and the lips like a Parisienne backstreet rent boy (When he blows that whistle, that's not the whistle he's really blowing, folks...)
What a display of tragic gerrymandering that was. No straight red and two joke pens - see youtube for Oor Silly Wullie's similar denial v Hearts when it was a Celtic claim.
Along with his cohorts, turning the game into a desperate love-letter to the satanic overlords of mordor; grown men yearning like excited schoolgirls to become part of a facade of sporting integrity, an illusion created by straw men and a South African snake-oil salesman sucking the lifeblood from them.
Y'know, Wullie, there's not much we can do to stop you trying again and again. But just know this - we're laughing at you. Laughing like fucking drains at your sheer transparency. You worthless wee cretin.
Brother Beaton knows now that the bar has been raised for Mordor. If Brother Beaton's got any wits about him he'll stand against the demands of the corrupt and dying, and apply the rules, quit the cycle of mendacity and ref the game like a fair man and not a goat-pumping man. Aye...
On we go. On the road again...
CORPUS CHRISTIE - 6/10
Flattered to deceive. Beautiful ball to set Calmac up for the first goal. BUT, count those misplaced passes - particularly first half... at least a half dozen straightforward played in error, breaking up out moves, allowing the opposition to counter. His energy was dynamic as we've come to admire but his touch and effectiveness were definitely muted.
This may be due to having to play with only one leg after McGinn surgically removed his other in a 'yellow' card challenge that summed up Scottish football and Refereeing in one crystallizing moment of brutality, incompetence and cheating.
Should still be a starter come the Hate Factory jolly bhoys outing, bionic leg permitting.
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG REDUX - 9/10
Impact. That's what we want when we watch Sincy rev up those dancing feet. And he's finally looking like the exhilarating streak of noodle-noggined hooped lightning that took our breath away two seasons ago. There's an air of unfinished business about him when something doesn't come off; not the resignation of recent times. And when he's on the ball he's looking alive to possibilities; enthusiastic for damage to be done.
Belief in himself is the first stage. Devastating contribution is the second - we got that today: the movement and the finish for his and Celtic's second absolutely top-drawer.
The third stage of the Sincy trifecta is something we've witnessed before with utter joy - a Hunskelping cyclone let loose. We could be witnessing the second coming.
Subs:
FRENCH EDDY - 9/10
He's pish. Canny trap a baw. Canny run, canny tackle, isny interested. 9 Mullyin my erse, etc, etc... Stated the philosophers stoned.
Devastating display of that price tag and potential as he entered the arena freezing and sheared a few sheep, skinning them alive and making a nice cosy fleece of le fuck-you for Liar Logan (LIAR!) as he dragged him flailing into the box, like a priapic scrapyard Alsatian slobbering after a pedigree bitch in heat; proceeded to set up Sincy's hat-trick with a nonchalant flick to the side and Gallic shrug.
Pulled that first goal of his out of nothing; looked an impossible finish, dinked it as if he was Tiger Woods on the pitch and put.
Eddy Mercury lives. Don't be afraid, Huns. It's too late for goodbyes. Just weep. He's not coming; He's already here.
HAYES - 8/10
The Christmas miracle. A great performance from Johnny Aw-Fuck-Not-Him-Again-Why-Can't-The-Young-Boys-Get-A-Game-Instead Hayes.
And it's GOOD to see an honest trier who keeps his heid down and his hopes up, play a pivotal role in a big win. Came on to groans, left to cheers - spot on positioning to strengthen our left flank, great endeavour up and down the wing, defending and offering an attacking threat they became wary of and chose to defend instead of making so many forays down that side.
An interesting afternoon for us all as Johnny Hayes arrived at last with a thought-provoking display that shows us we have another left-sided option for wing-back.
AJER - 5/10
Big man still not up to full Praetorian guard mettle - lost his man at their third, needs more game-time to get back in his stride.
BR - 7/10
Genius or lucky? Tactically clever or randomly fortunate? Went without a striker, brought on a striker and won the game. Did we pummel them if Eddy Mercury started? Or did we burn out a main player needlessly before Saturday? these things will be discussed. For two days. Then we'll pump the Huns rigid and BR will be a Ghod again and we'll all be too happily pished with New Year brevity to care about anything more than
ripping it out the zombies. Must be great to be Celtic manager. Almost as good as being a Celtic fan.
OVERALL - 6/10
Big win, massive result, poor performance for the middle hour of the game. WHY do we decide to slow down games? To slow down games to the oppositions pace, I must point out.
There seems to be a consensus at Celtic that this is 'controlling' the game. Don't we learn in Europe
getting slaughtered by the big boys?
You control a game by blistering their eyelids off with pace and smashing them for as many quick goals as you can, THEN settling into a zipping pace that allows you to recuperate but still has them lurching around like demented chimpanzees chasing the last watermelon in a drought.
i.e you play the game at YOUR pace, not drop it to theirs. We have the class to outplay anyone in Scotland at high tempo. We seem to quit and conserve far too early - like today, after 15 minutes and only one up we began to drop deep and invite them on.
No. Blitz them until they're gasping for mercy.
Don't let them make a scrap of it - the Dons, The Huns, Hibs, all got enough about them to be encouraged by Celtic's torpor.
About time we went full throttle for as much of the 90 as we can. Saturday would be a start. No mercy, show the world what you can do, bhoys. Blow them away.
GOLLUM - HarDeHar/10
Had to mention the simpering goon with the eyes in the back of his heid and the lips like a Parisienne backstreet rent boy (When he blows that whistle, that's not the whistle he's really blowing, folks...)
What a display of tragic gerrymandering that was. No straight red and two joke pens - see youtube for Oor Silly Wullie's similar denial v Hearts when it was a Celtic claim.
Along with his cohorts, turning the game into a desperate love-letter to the satanic overlords of mordor; grown men yearning like excited schoolgirls to become part of a facade of sporting integrity, an illusion created by straw men and a South African snake-oil salesman sucking the lifeblood from them.
Y'know, Wullie, there's not much we can do to stop you trying again and again. But just know this - we're laughing at you. Laughing like fucking drains at your sheer transparency. You worthless wee cretin.
Brother Beaton knows now that the bar has been raised for Mordor. If Brother Beaton's got any wits about him he'll stand against the demands of the corrupt and dying, and apply the rules, quit the cycle of mendacity and ref the game like a fair man and not a goat-pumping man. Aye...
On we go. On the road again...
