SANDMAN DEFINITIVE GLORIOUS GLASGOW CELTIC v COCAINE & ELIXIR LEIPZIG RATINGS - Part 2

Sandman

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SANDMAN DEFINITIVE GLORIOUS GLASGOW CELTIC v COCAINE & ELIXIR LEIPZIG RATINGS - Part 2

(continued)

CALMAC: 9/10

'Silky Broon' stunned the idiots in our fanbase who doubted his ability to carry the deeper role. Idiots like me, and you who is nodding along...

Brilliant distribution and all-round tidiness kept the midfield metronome ticking over, providing the platform to launch our Rogic and Christie cruising missiles at the bewildered German midfield. I don't think they expected our fluency and possession - especially after the first ten-fifteen minutes which they bossed. But once McGregor found his footing, we actually took a measure of control against a crack Bundesliga outfit.

So captivating was the Calmac performance, it took me until half-time to register a confused 'where the fck's Ntcham?'

Is this now THE niche for McGregor - deep-lying, allowing him more time to use his guile to greater effect?
We now have a wonderful conundrum - Broon MUST play - he gives us a wonderful destructive side; if you want to see the downside of that, reference Mulumbu's horrorshow... But do we go with Sam Jackson or Calmac deep beside Broon to play the quarterback?

If Sam Jackson offski rumours prove true in January, we'll at least know there's a good fit to replace him.


ROGIC: 7/10

I thought the big kangaroo was just a pinch off the pace; could have been devastating but was foiled more than once by his feet being a split-second behind his intent. Was an almost night for him; but surprised to see him slog out the 90 and compensate his off-key performance with tireless effort. If he'd been at the races, we could have killed them way before their equaliser.


FORREST: 8.5/10

The Prestwick Flyer is proving all that faith in him was correct - he's a bhoy brimming with confidence in his own ability and losing any fear he once had of having a go in the big matches.
Also looked encouragingly mad for it with his Peaky blinders haircut and a demeanour echoing that of a coked-up Liam Gallagher prowling onstage at Milton Keynes circa '95.

Wee mhan's getting gallus and we're getting the benefit. Rousing stuff tonight as he tore at them and took and gave a battering all night down the right. Big mistake to sub him as he is our out-man in situations, our ball-carrier to alleviate pressure. Fck knows what BR was thinking, but I'll speculate, granted...


SINCY: 7/10

Another nearly-night; him and big Rogic. Though this was a Sincy nearly-night far different from last season's Sincy nearly-nights when he nearly showed up for the warm-up then hid for the rest of the games like an EBT Hun dressed in a partridge costume at an Inland revenue team-building weekend titled 'Join The Hunt For The Tax-Thieves With Real Guns Outing'.

Nope, this rejuvenated Sincy suffered from unlucky Tom-feet syndrome passed on by our silky Aussie; ball stuck in his feet/took a bad bounce at the most in-opportune moments; he looked confident of roasting them over and over (see what I did there, Sunderland players of the past?...) yet ultimate success escaped him - viz the run through at the keeper and messing up the vital touch round him.


CHRISTIE 8.5/10

Roving son of balladeer Tony ran all the way to Amarillo and back, yet worried me early that he was going to watch the game pass him by.

But this bhoy is Stuart Armstrong with steel baws added. He reportedly put on 20 kilos - making him an instant hero in the pub where we gather - but still manages to harass, tackle, pick a pass and make penetrating runs despite his formidable beer belly; surely a future CAMRA special-award winner.

Tonight, he proved he is the real-deal; carved them up for the winner with that great gut-busting (popped a few shirt buttons...) run and cool head to pick the perfect cut-back. Showed his mettle by dishing it out in a few telling confrontations; keep on keeping on, Ryan.

We may have found this season's big bonus in our own back yard.


EDDY MERCURY: 9/10

'But, but... I jist dinnae see it in him.. whit's aw the fuss? Ah mean, Kris Boyd scored mair than Larsson, eh? He was pish efter he cut his hair...An Ah knew that Samaras wis shite too...""

Said the ubiquitous muppet we all have known somewhere in our Celtic lives; he who demands instant gratification, he of myopic comprehension; the Green Hun who boos the Hoops and scorns those who wear it; Surely a dying art of bawbaggery as new young players like Eddy Mercury quicksilver their way along our front line, tormenting the very best, opening the eyes of the gurning haters?

This was a fcking fantastic solo show up against a real litmus test (see what I did there, first-year Chemisrty teachers?).
Showed every inch of the class which commands 9 million from the biscuit tin; great feet, pace, craft, and strength - that first-half run down the left, muscling out three of them before unlucky with the cut to Sincy? Breathless stuff.

If anyone deserved a winner in a game of such magnitude it was Eddy, finishing with nonchalance from a distance that would make Alfredo Morelos stick pins in his own scrotum while grinding his teeth to stumps; it was the fitting crown for a prince.
This bhoy brings excitement and class. Play him, look after him, keep him smiling and keep off his back; he'll be devastating for us.


SUBS:

MULUMBU 4/10

Wtf? As if it wasn't tense enough, BR plays it for laughs and subs our outlet, Jamesy, for a half-fit, off the pace maniac who seemed to do his level best to sabotage a functioning midfield in their favour...

Not the best cameo, and a nightmare first five minutes saw him emerge as their most dangerous player.
I guess there has to be one party-pooper and it wasn't the big man's night; tough to enter such a game of high pace and intensity and be expected to shore it up.

Then again, it could have been a manager confident he'd get a result with the other ten, hanging him out to dry and teach a valuable lesson...

But one best forgotten for Mulumbu; his match highlights' reel is just fifteen minutes footage of Edvard Munch's painting, 'The Scream' with strobing every 90 seconds.


AJER: N/A

Replaced Sonic the Hedgehog in the last minute to add an extra defensive dimension. Had no impact to make bar frightening their tired forwards with his imperious Praetorian guard-ness presence.


BR: 8.5/10

An absolutely brilliant result to lighten the load on his Euro CV; but what the actual fck was he playing at subbing Jamesy for the almost-catastrophic Mulumbu? Covered it earlier, but Jee-sus, BR needs to start supplying the support with decent Valium if he plans on pulling that trick again. Or acid.

But his man-management did the exact trick required; he asked the players beforehand to show no fear. After shitting themselves for the first five or ten minutes, they clicked in like well-trained dugs on command and delivered as damn near-perfect a performance as you'll see from a Scottish team in Europe.

The manager did his job really well; showing his own class much like he did when manipulating the comeback situation at Mordor for the 3-2 with ten men back in April. Leipzig looked ill at ease with our tactics as we played around their diamond but still forced players in its midst to break up their momentum; BR wins a prize for that one.


OVERALL: 9.5/10

Can we have asked for better? Fck, yes; Could have buried them before they got back.
But that was great. Did we almost blow it? Course we did. Is that not part of the ride? Course it is. Luck earned, luck ridden, game won, famously so. A fantastic new euro memory for the legions.

Now we need those players to take that belief through the rest of the season, cause carnage across the Scottish game and put the creepy SPL Stevie-boy love-in to bed (see what I did there, Jim Traynor; your wham-bam, succulent lamb fantasies combined in one succinct quip).

Go to Livi on Sunday, treat them like Leipzig, smash them for half a dozen and enter the international break on fire.

No pish, Hun trumpets; Celtic pumped a top-notch Bundesliga outfit (best current form in Germany over last 10 matches). Now you have two months to explore every nightmare scenario that will befall you at Mordor on the 29th December.

Fresh from Halloween, Huns, look not amidst the plentiful pinheads among you, but look to the one true Pinhead for prophecy. He, lead Cenobite drawn by your Hellraising sorcery, has the Celtic promise on his lips:



(see what I did there, Clive Barker fans?)


Sayonara.
 
SANDMAN DEFINITIVE GLORIOUS GLASGOW CELTIC v COCAINE & ELIXIR LEIPZIG RATINGS - Part 2

(continued)

CALMAC: 9/10

'Silky Broon' stunned the idiots in our fanbase who doubted his ability to carry the deeper role. Idiots like me, and you who is nodding along...

Brilliant distribution and all-round tidiness kept the midfield metronome ticking over, providing the platform to launch our Rogic and Christie cruising missiles at the bewildered German midfield. I don't think they expected our fluency and possession - especially after the first ten-fifteen minutes which they bossed. But once McGregor found his footing, we actually took a measure of control against a crack Bundesliga outfit.

So captivating was the Calmac performance, it took me until half-time to register a confused 'where the fck's Ntcham?'

Is this now THE niche for McGregor - deep-lying, allowing him more time to use his guile to greater effect?
We now have a wonderful conundrum - Broon MUST play - he gives us a wonderful destructive side; if you want to see the downside of that, reference Mulumbu's horrorshow... But do we go with Sam Jackson or Calmac deep beside Broon to play the quarterback?

If Sam Jackson offski rumours prove true in January, we'll at least know there's a good fit to replace him.


ROGIC: 7/10

I thought the big kangaroo was just a pinch off the pace; could have been devastating but was foiled more than once by his feet being a split-second behind his intent. Was an almost night for him; but surprised to see him slog out the 90 and compensate his off-key performance with tireless effort. If he'd been at the races, we could have killed them way before their equaliser.


FORREST: 8.5/10

The Prestwick Flyer is proving all that faith in him was correct - he's a bhoy brimming with confidence in his own ability and losing any fear he once had of having a go in the big matches.
Also looked encouragingly mad for it with his Peaky blinders haircut and a demeanour echoing that of a coked-up Liam Gallagher prowling onstage at Milton Keynes circa '95.

Wee mhan's getting gallus and we're getting the benefit. Rousing stuff tonight as he tore at them and took and gave a battering all night down the right. Big mistake to sub him as he is our out-man in situations, our ball-carrier to alleviate pressure. Fck knows what BR was thinking, but I'll speculate, granted...


SINCY: 7/10

Another nearly-night; him and big Rogic. Though this was a Sincy nearly-night far different from last season's Sincy nearly-nights when he nearly showed up for the warm-up then hid for the rest of the games like an EBT Hun dressed in a partridge costume at an Inland revenue team-building weekend titled 'Join The Hunt For The Tax-Thieves With Real Guns Outing'.

Nope, this rejuvenated Sincy suffered from unlucky Tom-feet syndrome passed on by our silky Aussie; ball stuck in his feet/took a bad bounce at the most in-opportune moments; he looked confident of roasting them over and over (see what I did there, Sunderland players of the past?...) yet ultimate success escaped him - viz the run through at the keeper and messing up the vital touch round him.


CHRISTIE 8.5/10

Roving son of balladeer Tony ran all the way to Amarillo and back, yet worried me early that he was going to watch the game pass him by.

But this bhoy is Stuart Armstrong with steel baws added. He reportedly put on 20 kilos - making him an instant hero in the pub where we gather - but still manages to harass, tackle, pick a pass and make penetrating runs despite his formidable beer belly; surely a future CAMRA special-award winner.

Tonight, he proved he is the real-deal; carved them up for the winner with that great gut-busting (popped a few shirt buttons...) run and cool head to pick the perfect cut-back. Showed his mettle by dishing it out in a few telling confrontations; keep on keeping on, Ryan.

We may have found this season's big bonus in our own back yard.


EDDY MERCURY: 9/10

'But, but... I jist dinnae see it in him.. whit's aw the fuss? Ah mean, Kris Boyd scored mair than Larsson, eh? He was pish efter he cut his hair...An Ah knew that Samaras wis shite too...""

Said the ubiquitous muppet we all have known somewhere in our Celtic lives; he who demands instant gratification, he of myopic comprehension; the Green Hun who boos the Hoops and scorns those who wear it; Surely a dying art of bawbaggery as new young players like Eddy Mercury quicksilver their way along our front line, tormenting the very best, opening the eyes of the gurning haters?

This was a fcking fantastic solo show up against a real litmus test (see what I did there, first-year Chemisrty teachers?).
Showed every inch of the class which commands 9 million from the biscuit tin; great feet, pace, craft, and strength - that first-half run down the left, muscling out three of them before unlucky with the cut to Sincy? Breathless stuff.

If anyone deserved a winner in a game of such magnitude it was Eddy, finishing with nonchalance from a distance that would make Alfredo Morelos stick pins in his own scrotum while grinding his teeth to stumps; it was the fitting crown for a prince.
This bhoy brings excitement and class. Play him, look after him, keep him smiling and keep off his back; he'll be devastating for us.


SUBS:

MULUMBU 4/10

Wtf? As if it wasn't tense enough, BR plays it for laughs and subs our outlet, Jamesy, for a half-fit, off the pace maniac who seemed to do his level best to sabotage a functioning midfield in their favour...

Not the best cameo, and a nightmare first five minutes saw him emerge as their most dangerous player.
I guess there has to be one party-pooper and it wasn't the big man's night; tough to enter such a game of high pace and intensity and be expected to shore it up.

Then again, it could have been a manager confident he'd get a result with the other ten, hanging him out to dry and teach a valuable lesson...

But one best forgotten for Mulumbu; his match highlights' reel is just fifteen minutes footage of Edvard Munch's painting, 'The Scream' with strobing every 90 seconds.


AJER: N/A

Replaced Sonic the Hedgehog in the last minute to add an extra defensive dimension. Had no impact to make bar frightening their tired forwards with his imperious Praetorian guard-ness presence.


BR: 8.5/10

An absolutely brilliant result to lighten the load on his Euro CV; but what the actual fck was he playing at subbing Jamesy for the almost-catastrophic Mulumbu? Covered it earlier, but Jee-sus, BR needs to start supplying the support with decent Valium if he plans on pulling that trick again. Or acid.

But his man-management did the exact trick required; he asked the players beforehand to show no fear. After shitting themselves for the first five or ten minutes, they clicked in like well-trained dugs on command and delivered as damn near-perfect a performance as you'll see from a Scottish team in Europe.

The manager did his job really well; showing his own class much like he did when manipulating the comeback situation at Mordor for the 3-2 with ten men back in April. Leipzig looked ill at ease with our tactics as we played around their diamond but still forced players in its midst to break up their momentum; BR wins a prize for that one.


OVERALL: 9.5/10

Can we have asked for better? Fck, yes; Could have buried them before they got back.
But that was great. Did we almost blow it? Course we did. Is that not part of the ride? Course it is. Luck earned, luck ridden, game won, famously so. A fantastic new euro memory for the legions.

Now we need those players to take that belief through the rest of the season, cause carnage across the Scottish game and put the creepy SPL Stevie-boy love-in to bed (see what I did there, Jim Traynor; your wham-bam, succulent lamb fantasies combined in one succinct quip).

Go to Livi on Sunday, treat them like Leipzig, smash them for half a dozen and enter the international break on fire.

No pish, Hun trumpets; Celtic pumped a top-notch Bundesliga outfit (best current form in Germany over last 10 matches). Now you have two months to explore every nightmare scenario that will befall you at Mordor on the 29th December.

Fresh from Halloween, Huns, look not amidst the plentiful pinheads among you, but look to the one true Pinhead for prophecy. He, lead Cenobite drawn by your Hellraising sorcery, has the Celtic promise on his lips:



(see what I did there, Clive Barker fans?)


Sayonara.

Sandman, your humour is top drawer pal as is your analysis threads.

Thank you so very much ???
 
If anyone deserved a winner in a game of such magnitude it was Eddy, finishing with nonchalance from a distance that would make Alfredo Morelos stick pins in his own scrotum while grinding his teeth to stumps; it was the fitting crown for a prince.

Still smiling at that one :LOL:
 
Absolutely brilliant! At the risk of sounding like a crawly bumlick these ratings are the best thing on celtic forums since tinsoldier was in his pomp on KDS.
 

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