Sandman
Well-known member
SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE CELTS v FERRANTI ELECTRIONIC WORKS TEAM RATINGS
"At the going down of the Hun, we will remember them - the Sandman Ratings, that is."
Field Murderer Haig.
"Boom,boom...Boom,boom,boom...Boom...Boom"
Pvt. Baldrick.
"Have you seen wat plays up front for zat Livingstons? Get to ze chopper!"
A.Schwarzenegger
Let's Go! Not.
BAIN - 7/10
Despite communication problems with his defence due to the face mask he wears after his prison ordeal, Batman's nemesis produced a decent display, doing his job.
LUSTIG - 7/10
'The Man Whose Legs Have Gone' was solid as usual, sending his detractors into fits of angst as he and his fellow defenders put up solid blocks. Drove the team on second half to no avail.
BOYATA - 7/10
As with Mick, good defending, unfortunate with some attacking headers, unfazed by Livingston's 80s sci-fi tactic of putting an alien hunter with more dreadlocks than Dedryck upfront against him.
AJER - Ouch!/10
Nasty injury for big Praetorian Kris as an attacking foray brings about catastrophe. Can only hope he recovers fully, and quickly; Hopefully will be spurred on by the incentive of getting to wear a special superhero mask like most youngster are...
TIERNEY - 7/10
Frustrating afternoon for the industrious Soul Of Celtic as his engine purred but with no rewards for his effort.
CALMAC - 7/10
Prodded around them all day, trying to pick the pass but a pish pitch and crowded house made his life difficult.
ROGIC - 6.5/10
No space for the Silken One - nearly scored a stunner to win the points but foiled by a traitorous Celtic supporter playing in nets for them. Again lasted 90 minutes; a good sign.
FORREST - 6.5/10
The Dynamo faced the Alamo and almost breached their defences first half like a Speedy Gonzales with deadly intent. However, once more subbed mysteriously when there were more deserving.
CHRISTIE - 7/10
Another solid performance full of energy and intent. Even survived a couple of attacks by The Predator playing centre forward for them - though did not react to either maiming attempt due to the cloaking device rendering his opponent invisible; hence the look of surprise on young Ryan's face as he was assaulted twice by a force he presumed from out of thin air.
SINCY - 5/10
Misfiring Sonic The Hedgehog once more had a nearly-game but his mishit attempt late on summed it up - a sharper, confident Sincy side-foots that in and takes the adulation. Should have been off instead of Jamesy.
EDDY MERCURY - 5/10
Looked uncomfortable with the pitch and Livi's hired assassins. Definitely THE perfect example of why we need a target man to mix it up sometimes against packed defences to release players like Eddy to do the damage.
SUBS:
MORGAN - 6/10
Looked lively and certainly confident enough to take the ball and responsibility to create something. Just wish he'd been MORE selfish and direct sometimes; gone at them himself instead of cutting inside too often - game was on a plate for him running at tired and anxious defenders.
BENKOVIC - 6/10
Presume he was on the bench due to the surface, but acquitted himself as well as ever when called on to replace Ajer.
BR - 6.5/10
Looked resigned to dropping points during second half - subbed the wrong man again (Jamesy) imo, was left like the rest of us hoping the team would find a way through rather than looking like he had a solution.
OVERALL - 6/10
Of course it was going to happen - heroic Thursday followed by a flat Sunday as frustration set in at the Silly Name Stadium. Clean sheet and no defeat but that was the least we expected. A rather anti-climactic way of going top of the league; a bit like copping off with Lady Ga Ga in front of your mates only to get back to the hotel room and find out the 'tuck' rumours were true...
REFWATCH - Fannies/10
Nancy Drew and his associates invented a new approach to officiating by claiming 'ballwatching' while that dreadlocked alien hunter appeared from camouflage twice in an attempt to take young Christie's heid as a trophy. The 'ballwatching' of course was an admiration of Craig Halkett's nuts as he ran around kicking at anything not wearing a poppy. SFA Officiating Level Achieved: Celtic Standard
"At the going down of the Hun, we will remember them - the Sandman Ratings, that is."
Field Murderer Haig.
"Boom,boom...Boom,boom,boom...Boom...Boom"
Pvt. Baldrick.
"Have you seen wat plays up front for zat Livingstons? Get to ze chopper!"
A.Schwarzenegger
Let's Go! Not.
BAIN - 7/10
Despite communication problems with his defence due to the face mask he wears after his prison ordeal, Batman's nemesis produced a decent display, doing his job.
LUSTIG - 7/10
'The Man Whose Legs Have Gone' was solid as usual, sending his detractors into fits of angst as he and his fellow defenders put up solid blocks. Drove the team on second half to no avail.
BOYATA - 7/10
As with Mick, good defending, unfortunate with some attacking headers, unfazed by Livingston's 80s sci-fi tactic of putting an alien hunter with more dreadlocks than Dedryck upfront against him.
AJER - Ouch!/10
Nasty injury for big Praetorian Kris as an attacking foray brings about catastrophe. Can only hope he recovers fully, and quickly; Hopefully will be spurred on by the incentive of getting to wear a special superhero mask like most youngster are...
TIERNEY - 7/10
Frustrating afternoon for the industrious Soul Of Celtic as his engine purred but with no rewards for his effort.
CALMAC - 7/10
Prodded around them all day, trying to pick the pass but a pish pitch and crowded house made his life difficult.
ROGIC - 6.5/10
No space for the Silken One - nearly scored a stunner to win the points but foiled by a traitorous Celtic supporter playing in nets for them. Again lasted 90 minutes; a good sign.
FORREST - 6.5/10
The Dynamo faced the Alamo and almost breached their defences first half like a Speedy Gonzales with deadly intent. However, once more subbed mysteriously when there were more deserving.
CHRISTIE - 7/10
Another solid performance full of energy and intent. Even survived a couple of attacks by The Predator playing centre forward for them - though did not react to either maiming attempt due to the cloaking device rendering his opponent invisible; hence the look of surprise on young Ryan's face as he was assaulted twice by a force he presumed from out of thin air.
SINCY - 5/10
Misfiring Sonic The Hedgehog once more had a nearly-game but his mishit attempt late on summed it up - a sharper, confident Sincy side-foots that in and takes the adulation. Should have been off instead of Jamesy.
EDDY MERCURY - 5/10
Looked uncomfortable with the pitch and Livi's hired assassins. Definitely THE perfect example of why we need a target man to mix it up sometimes against packed defences to release players like Eddy to do the damage.
SUBS:
MORGAN - 6/10
Looked lively and certainly confident enough to take the ball and responsibility to create something. Just wish he'd been MORE selfish and direct sometimes; gone at them himself instead of cutting inside too often - game was on a plate for him running at tired and anxious defenders.
BENKOVIC - 6/10
Presume he was on the bench due to the surface, but acquitted himself as well as ever when called on to replace Ajer.
BR - 6.5/10
Looked resigned to dropping points during second half - subbed the wrong man again (Jamesy) imo, was left like the rest of us hoping the team would find a way through rather than looking like he had a solution.
OVERALL - 6/10
Of course it was going to happen - heroic Thursday followed by a flat Sunday as frustration set in at the Silly Name Stadium. Clean sheet and no defeat but that was the least we expected. A rather anti-climactic way of going top of the league; a bit like copping off with Lady Ga Ga in front of your mates only to get back to the hotel room and find out the 'tuck' rumours were true...
REFWATCH - Fannies/10
Nancy Drew and his associates invented a new approach to officiating by claiming 'ballwatching' while that dreadlocked alien hunter appeared from camouflage twice in an attempt to take young Christie's heid as a trophy. The 'ballwatching' of course was an admiration of Craig Halkett's nuts as he ran around kicking at anything not wearing a poppy. SFA Officiating Level Achieved: Celtic Standard
