SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC @ DELIVERANCE

Sandman

Well-known member
SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC @ DELIVERANCE


"They're all lumberjacks and they're not okay,
They'll batter you about and kick you all day..."

Ross County club song.



THE WALL - 6/10

They set the traps for him. They gazed on in awed silence from the
home end when he took up position in the goalmouth. Was this
really the son of Hercules the Bear?
No chance with the goal, good handling when few anxious moments
required. By the final whistle he'd so little to do that carvings
had been made in the stadium wooden totems and word had spread
locally to the extent they're unveiling new paintings in the caves
tonight. Of 'Man Grizzly'.



PINGPONG - 7/10

'You sure are lookin' purty in them paynts...' cried the locals as
they caught sight of our exotic wunderkind.
Our most involved player first-half. Which was wrong. You don't
ask a kid to carry the can in redneck country. Took a booking for
being caught wrong side and they scored form the free-kick.
Yet you get boundless committment form young Pingpong and
he was at them in spite of things not running his way. Once he
got the requisite support with Corpus sitting closer, and we
switched play more, there was less drama.


AJER - 7.5/10

His kind of contest - a battle with brawny, sinewy Heelan' men.
A test any viking would relish. Ironside bossed it, was sharp to
counter his teammates lapses. A good solid showing.



JULLIEN CLARY - 6.5/10

The lack of sophistication in his surroundings meant he played the
game with an expression of Gallic disgust, as if the place smelled
like Mordor.
Slack with a few passes, lackadaisical at times controlling the line.
A clash of heads had him enraged and only the final whistle drew
any faint smile, replaced with a contemptuous, 'PAH!' as he strode
off.


GREGGS - 6.5/10

Their best product to date, bringing fast food to the backwoods, and
fast he is - well impressed by his supporting runs and eagerness to get
on the end of Pingpong breaks down the right.
Nothing fell for him but he continued to play his given role like one of
those top sausage rolls - meaty enough with a delicate touch to the
pastry that raises it a class above the everyday.



BROON - 7.5/10

Combat is it? On the first day of advent? A time of peace and love.
A time of blood and snotters for the skipper as he repelled and
bludgeoned the raw cluggers set up to intimidate our playmakers.
Thudded with an elbow which may have ben a pen, the frustration
only spurs him on and he dominated the spaces in the game where
they could capitalise by winning everything and tidying up the
scraps.


CALMAC - 6.5/10

Going about his tidy business with plenty in reserve. Stepped up
the pace a little second-half until we tied it up - cracked the post
with a rare effort then actually got a rest for the last quarter-hour;
his Christmas bonus.


CORPUS CHRISTIE - 8/10 MOTM

When in Teuchterland send in a Teuchter to do the Teuchters.
For even more effect, send in an Inverness bhoy on a Mingwall
mission. The sight of an arch enemy of these warring teuchter
tribes had some of the locals scrunching their cardboard latte
cups in mild fits of pique. The atmosphere turned ugly.
So Corpus threw them an olive-branch penalty kick in the spirit
of Christmas.
Then smacked in the rebound in the spirit of mischeviousness.
But it is the Season of the Saviour and Corpus is ours. Beautiful
timed run to drift through and plant the second with consummate
aplomb. Once again he was the catalyst of victory. Well done,
Ronny Deila.


ROGIC - 6/10

Just as things were kind of languid and flicks and touches not
quite refined, up pops Oz to stroke in the third like a bush-backpacker
serial killer. You can't quell class for too long and he continues to ramp
up his match-fitness and match-effectiveness.



FORREST - 5.5/10

Pretty disappointed he went so far north and didn't see Santa, Jamesy
was in a sulk for 90 minutes before some weaving magic and a near-thing
in injury time.
Thankfully, his match-winning influence wasn't relied upon this lunchtime.



MORGAN FREEMAN JR. - 6.5/10

A tougher shift than his dad experienced in Shawshank. Looked lost
amid the defensive legion. Then his class flickered into life at a crucial
time - surrounded deep amid the dark blue trees with his arse on the
line, the take, turn, run and cut sealed the day as Oz got on the end of it.




SUBS:


NIKEY J - 8/10

He was a perfect replacement to enthuse the locals who just got
into the New Romatic scene. Scored in the 73rd minute Thursday,
scored a peach withhis first involvement today. Also took a booking
from small Hun whistling nyaff with no concept of momentum of
how close the crowd is to the pitch inMingwall - I mean, the pie
stall is practically in the fucking goalmouth.
Thereafter, Mikey tortured them and deserved another.


GRIFF -

Had a major chance soon after arrival but it required morphing into
the great Larsson a la Mordor 2001.



BITTON - N/A

A stretch for the big guy's legs for the last ten.



LENNONY - 7/10

A gamble, with trust in his picks. Jamesy out left again was a
fail - exposed Pingpong to their double-team, meaning forward
bursts were corralled with space left behind him for counters.
Sorted it second-half and we were far more balanced to see
them off. No recurrence of his historical Highland woes; he'll
be happy to have this done with goals to spare.



OVERALL - 7.5/10

As Ross County ran out to Duelling Banjos, memories of Highland
struggles returned. Would their duo management team of Phineas
and Ferb pose problems for Lennony with a cunning plan? Might
have seemed like that for a brief shaky spell after their soft
equalizer but eventually the Hoops quality came to the fore and we
avoided getting involved in a costly scrap. It was no less than we
deserved, with some goals to spare, and also no less than expected.
But after the Livingston anomaly in the Matrix it's going to be
tenterhooks for away games until the NINE is in the bag.
So we opened the first advent calendar window to a Celtic win.
Well, mine simply said, 'Fuck The Huns' and dispensed a chocolate
shamrock. But it's the thought that counts.



Go Away Now.



Sandman.
 
Last edited:

Bridie Bhoy

Well-known member
SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC @ DELIVERANCE


"They're all lumberjacks and they're not okay,
They'll batter you about and kick you all day..."

Ross County club song.



THE WALL - 6/10

They set the traps for him. They gazed on in awed silence from the
home end when he took up position in the goalmouth. Was this
really the son of Hercules the Bear?
No chance with the goal, good handling when few anxious moments
required. By the final whistle he'd so little to do that carvings
had been made in the stadium wooden totems and word had spread
locally to the extent they're unveiling new paintings in the caves
tonight. Of 'Man Grizzly'.



PINGPONG - 7/10

'You sure are lookin' purty in them paynts...' cried the locals as
they caught sight of our exotic wunderkind.
Our most involved player first-half. Which was wrong. You don't
ask a kid to carry the can in redneck country. Took a booking for
being caught wrong side and they scored form the free-kick.
Yet you get boundless committment form young Pingpong and
he was at them in spite of things not running his way. Once he
got the requisite support with Corpus sitting closer, and we
switched play more, there was less drama.


AJER - 7.5/10

His kind of contest - a battle with brawny, sinewy Heelan' men.
A test any viking would relish. Ironside bossed it, was sharp to
counter his teammates lapses. A good solid showing.



JULLIEN CLARY - 6.5/10

The lack of sophistication in his surroundings meant he played the
game with an expression of Gallic disgust, as if the place smelled
like Mordor.
Slack with a few passes, lackadaisical at times controlling the line.
A clash of heads had him enraged and only the final whistle drew
any faint smile, replaced with a contemptuous, 'PAH!' as he strode
off.


BROON - 7.5/10

Combat is it? On the first day of advent? A time of peace and love.
A time of blood and snotters for the skipper as he repelled and
bludgeoned the raw cluggers set up to intimidate our playmakers.
Thudded with an elbow which may have ben a pen, the frustration
only spurs him on and he dominated the spaces in the game where
they could capitalise by winning everything and tidying up the
scraps.


CALMAC - 6.5/10

Going about his tidy business with plenty in reserve. Stepped up
the pace a little second-half until we tied it up - cracked the post
with a rare effort then actually got a rest for the last quarter-hour;
his Christmas bonus.


CORPUS CHRISTIE - 8/10 MOTM

When in Teuchterland send in a Teuchter to do the Teuchters.
For even more effect, send in an Inverness bhoy on a Mingwall
mission. The sight of an arch enemy of these warring teuchter
tribes had some of the locals scrunching their cardboard latte
cups in mild fits of pique. The atmosphere turned ugly.
So Corpus threw them an olive-branch penalty kick in the spirit
of Christmas.
Then smacked in the rebound in the spirit of mischeviousness.
But it is the Season of the Saviour and Corpus is ours. Beautiful
timed run to drift through and plant the second with consummate
aplomb. Once again he was the catalyst of victory. Well done,
Ronny Deila.


ROGIC - 6/10

Just as things were kind of languid and flicks and touches not
quite refined, up pops Oz to stroke in the third like a bush-backpacker
serial killer. You can't quell class for too long and he continues to ramp
up his match-fitness and match-effectiveness.



FORREST - 5.5/10

Pretty disappointed he went so far north and didn't see Santa, Jamesy
was in a sulk for 90 minutes before some weaving magic and a near-thing
in injury time.
Thankfully, his match-winning influence wasn't relied upon this lunchtime.



MORGAN FREEMAN JR. - 6.5/10

A tougher shift than his dad experienced in Shawshank. Looked lost
amid the defensive legion. Then his class flickered into life at a crucial
time - surrounded deep amid the dark blue trees with his arse on the
line, the take, turn, run and cut sealed the day as Oz got on the end of it.




SUBS:


NIKEY J - 8/10

He was a perfect replacement to enthuse the locals who just got
into the New Romatic scene. Scored in the 73rd minute Thursday,
scored a peach withhis first involvement today. Also took a booking
from small Hun whistling nyaff with no concept of momentum of
how close the crowd is to the pitch inMingwall - I mean, the pie
stall is practically in the fucking goalmouth.
Thereafter, Mikey tortured them and deserved another.


GRIFF -

Had a major chance soon after arrival but it required morphing into
the great Larsson a la Mordor 2001.



BITTON - N/A

A stretch for the big guy's legs for the last ten.



LENNONY - 7/10

A gamble, with trust in his picks. Jamesy out left again was a
fail - exposed Pingpong to their double-team, meaning forward
bursts were corralled with space left behind him for counters.
Sorted it second-half and we were far more balanced to see
them off. No recurrence of his historical Highland woes; he'll
be happy to have this done with goals to spare.



OVERALL - 7.5/10

As Ross County ran out to Duelling Banjos, memories of Highland
struggles returned. Would their duo management team of Phineas
and Ferb pose problems for Lennony with a cunning plan? Might
have seemed like that for a brief shaky spell after their soft
equalizer but eventually the Hoops quality came to the fore and we
avoided getting involved in a costly scrap. It was no less than we
deserved, with some goals to spare, and also no less than expected.
But after the Livingston anomaly in the Matrix it's going to be
tenterhooks for away games until the NINE is in the bag.
So we opened the first advent calendar window to a Celtic win.
Well, mine simply said, 'Fuck The Huns' and dispensed a chocolate
shamrock. But it's the thought that counts.



Go Away Now.



Sandman.
Brilliant as usual, but you missed out Greg Taylor! ๐Ÿ˜‰
 

Winning Captains Bolingoli

Administrator
Staff member
Sandman - if you are around, drop in the Rating for Greg Taylor and I will add to The Celtic Star article, I've just put in a line that David Potter reckons he's now the best Left back at the club. Posting now. Geo was at Dingwall - he got on the telly too, so we have some great photos in the article which I'll post in a second ie without Muckaf***in delay.
 

Pope Mikus Maximus

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