SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v AC/DC

Sandman

Well-known member
SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v AC/DC



"I've got big balls
I've got big balls

And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls

And he's got big balls,
And she's got big balls,

But I've got the biggest balls of them all..."

Leigh Griffiths, "Big Balls", from 'Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap'.




"AC/DC could be regarded as one of history's great rock bands,
but they've got a weirdo Hun as lead guitarist who dresses like
a Michael Jackson wet dream, so, naw..."

Scotland's Rolling Stane magazine.




B.A BARKAS - 6/10

Well, he's rocking with punches thrown and must wonder why the
only thing he gets to do in games is pick the ball out of our net.
Three times. Not a save to make around them. Bizarre. Saturday
it was two. It's all Greek to him.


WELSH - 4/10

A lesson learned? You better be at it smartish against the top
boys or one will sneak beyond you to guide in a header and spoil
your big night. Every second, and every step ahead, counts, kid.


ALAN LADD - 3/10

He wouldn't get his ranch cook to go wrangle a steer, so why do
we have a guy who couldn't get a game for Brighton marshalling
our backline agianst Zlatan and co?

Like Chef Cockeye Coyote, the big guy's out of his depth. Against
competent sides his lack of spatial awreness shows, costing us
twice tonight as players ghosted in around him. Many might pin
their opener on him getting caught under the ball but it was a
peach of a clip in. Hurry up and mince back, Jullien Clary.



AJER - 7/10 MOTM

A defender not found wanting against quality. Bust a gut and found
time to add his SPL forward surges. His alertness held us firm as
we faced a pumping - nicked the ball off Zlatan's toe at a crucial
moment. Fought his space, did his best to urge the collective to higher
levels, not to wilt; a captain's perfromance in the face of defeat.



LAXALTIVE - 6/10

Strarted in top gear but seemed to shade off in confidence as we
struggled for meaningful impact. Willingness to run at opposition
inside and out and always look for an early cross is a bonus.
Ideal guy to have dragging them wide for the last fifteen as we
sought a dramatic comeback. Oh, no, that's right - he was subbed at
the very start of it...



PINGPONG - 5.5/10

The wee mhan's got it all - pace and Pokemon power, and... NO final
ball at all. At least twice he was in a position to kill them with a
composed delivery and fluffed his lines.

He caused problems and kept at them, and his five-yard burst can be
a match winner but... We need to keep him behind after school and work
on tuning the last cylinder in the V8.



BROON - 5/10

Another unusual match for the skipper as he picked us up from dead
in his customary inviolate manner, refusing to be swamped by swarthy
Milanese and getting the Celts' heads up.

But then he drifted, slack passing, not crunching into tackles...
Subbed at a crucial point in proceedings; normally the last man you
pluck from the fire; we hope it was a fitness issue, saved for Sunday
with the game seemingly gone.



CALMAC - 5.5/10

So disappointing to see the metronome not quite tuned. There was
space for him between their back lines and with Sam Jackson actually
turning up, it was set for Calmac to wreak havoc. But his deftness
deserted him in the frenzied seconds around their box when openings
can be leveraged. His touch was only slightly out, but in these
contests it can be the difference.



SAM JACKSON - 6.5/10

Surprised, Muthufuckas? Muthufucka wore a permanent expression of
bewilderment since he saw the daym teamsheet. But tonight he fancied
turning up at the shindig and laying down some law. The flicks and
sprightliness lifted our tempo, the repertoire of longball switches
opened space, and if he could have topped it off with a late strike
on target we might have been lauding MOTM in a glorious comeback.

It's muthufuckin' evident this Muthufucka turns up for the big Euro
games; can we turn his muthufckin' head for the domestic stuff
with a Royale With Cheese or two? We might get consistent muthufuckin'
rhythm in the midfield. Or maybe it's too daym muthufuckin' late for
that hope...



GRIFF - 4/10

Spent 45 minutes in a dogging session... I'm here all week. Worn out
chasing shadows by half-time and surprisingly replaced before he
really had a chance to impact. or to receive any decent service. Hmm.


THE YETI - 5/10

A similar Griff tale, but with a more harrowing finale. Put himself
about, made a couple of openings but neither of the starting front two
were receiving any kind of support as any exciting forward play petered
out at the vinegar strokes.

Of course, The Yeti, with his late goalscoring record for Celtic was
exactly the man we needed in the box mixing it up as we sought a late
climactic equaliser... Oh, that's right - he was fucking subbed just
as they were given pause for thought. And didn't he look impressed...
Way to improve confidence, Lennony...



SUBS:

CHRISTIE - 6/10

Corpus gave us some spark, getting on the ball and spinning in and out
their defensive block; just didn't get everthing quite up to speed,
like his shooting or his deliveries - great one for the goal, terrible
let downs for late free-kicks and corner when we looked for a Jullien/Lazio
moment.


ROGIC - 5.5/10

Not the typre of player you hope for much as a late sub but Big Oz is
showing more signs of a return to destructive beauty with another cameo
involving cute beguiling touches and creative enterprise. Keep goin',
cobber, as they say in Australian stereotype prose.



ELSHAGYONLASSIE - 6.5/10

Another for the glamour games - swooshed on in a surprise half-time
exchange and swooshed about to effect. Scored a header! Well, he shut
his eyes as he ran at the ball and it kind of smashed off his face but
it looked good.
Scoopped a couple of real good chances over the bar but at least he
was involved and keen; he appeared so on Saturday as well; do we yet
have hope this luxury will become an essential as we dig deep
to carve out some history this season?


KLIMALA KLIMAX - N/A

Go on, son - get on there and give us a right Klimax. In Color.
Just get in and around them and link up with The Yeti and give
them a headache for the last fifteen...
Oh, no, that's right - you were chucked in alone.
And the Milan defence, they did sigh with a little relief, and
they did eat him up like all good Italian-drilled defences do....



GREGGS THE BAKER - N/A

Benched to keep him fresh for the nightshift and get those rolls just
right - little burn on top to compliment the breakfast fried eggs.
So it was a late introduction just as we got a goal back. Presumably to
shore up the 1-2...

And he failed...




LENNONY - 5/10

Okay, changes have been called for earlier when we're toiling.
So half-time it was, and the two subs came on to stir things up.
Check.

His alteration looked positive and produced results - more
openings and a goal back. Check.

And then he killed momentum stone dead by roping in our
adventurous left-sided wingback and angriest striker, by the look
of The Yeti as he growled off the park. Not as growly as me
watching that change.

What. The. Fuck. Said the Celtic support, and Milan. So any hope
of a stranglehold finale as we pinned Milan in and they frantically
tried to cope with twin strikers shifting like barracuda round their
box as their own reserve left back whipped in some stinging crosses,
evaporated.

And we gifted them a third with the last kick.

Lennony's Plan B From Outer Fucking Space.



OVERALL - 6.5/10

Rebounding from the cringing embarrassment of rolling over like
chastised puppies to Scotchland's newest soccer franchise at home
on Black October Saturday was never going to be easy against Italy's
best hard rock band and their Swedish superhero.

But we manned-up and shifted the ball around competently for a
first-half where our spells of possession lit expectations with
tempo and decent combinations. But.. we still managed to look effective
without really affecting.

And then they did what good Italian sides do and picked us off with
class, ensuring the night was no reboot of previous European glories,
instead trailered the horrifying Return Of The Seive starring Alan Ladd,
just in time for Halloween.

Second-half we made a good fist of it until getting sucker-punched
late on. Credit to the players for not going under in Black October
Saturday's shameful manner, but for standing up to a good side and
forcing their way back into the game. We just didn't have the final
killer instinct to turn our moments of hope into lasting memories.

And the possibility of another grand finale to echo last year's Lazio
joy was strangled at birth by personnel tinkering that gave me a sore
head. From banging it off a wall.

All-in, Europe's a distraction; useful for bettering our experience.
A means to test progress, or lack of it. We had something impressive
tonight, for a while either half, but we let it slip. If we can get it back, the
season starts then.



Go Away Now.

Sandman.
 

Bridie Bhoy

Well-known member
SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v AC/DC



"I've got big balls
I've got big balls

And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls

And he's got big balls,
And she's got big balls,

But I've got the biggest balls of them all..."

Leigh Griffiths, "Big Balls", from 'Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap'.




"AC/DC could be regarded as one of history's great rock bands,
but they've got a weirdo Hun as lead guitarist who dresses like
a Michael Jackson wet dream, so, naw..."

Scotland's Rolling Stane magazine.




B.A BARKAS - 6/10

Well, he's rocking with punches thrown and must wonder why the
only thing he gets to do in games is pick the ball out of our net.
Three times. Not a save to make around them. Bizarre. Saturday
it was two. It's all Greek to him.


WELSH - 4/10

A lesson learned? You better be at it smartish against the top
boys or one will sneak beyond you to guide in a header and spoil
your big night. Every second, and every step ahead, counts, kid.


ALAN LADD - 3/10

He wouldn't get his ranch cook to go wrangle a steer, so why do
we have a guy who couldn't get a game for Brighton marshalling
our backline agianst Zlatan and co?

Like Chef Cockeye Coyote, the big guy's out of his depth. Against
competent sides his lack of spatial awreness shows, costing us
twice tonight as players ghosted in around him. Many might pin
their opener on him getting caught under the ball but it was a
peach of a clip in. Hurry up and mince back, Jullien Clary.



AJER - 7/10 MOTM

A defender not found wanting against quality. Bust a gut and found
time to add his SPL forward surges. His alertness held us firm as
we faced a pumping - nicked the ball off Zlatan's toe at a crucial
moment. Fought his space, did his best to urge the collective to higher
levels, not to wilt; a captain's perfromance in the face of defeat.



LAXALTIVE - 6/10

Strarted in top gear but seemed to shade off in confidence as we
struggled for meaningful impact. Willingness to run at opposition
inside and out and always look for an early cross is a bonus.
Ideal guy to have dragging them wide for the last fifteen as we
sought a dramatic comeback. Oh, no, that's right - he was subbed at
the very start of it...



PINGPONG - 5.5/10

The wee mhan's got it all - pace and Pokemon power, and... NO final
ball at all. At least twice he was in a position to kill them with a
composed delivery and fluffed his lines.

He caused problems and kept at them, and his five-yard burst can be
a match winner but... We need to keep him behind after school and work
on tuning the last cylinder in the V8.



BROON - 5/10

Another unusual match for the skipper as he picked us up from dead
in his customary inviolate manner, refusing to be swamped by swarthy
Milanese and getting the Celts' heads up.

But then he drifted, slack passing, not crunching into tackles...
Subbed at a crucial point in proceedings; normally the last man you
pluck from the fire; we hope it was a fitness issue, saved for Sunday
with the game seemingly gone.



CALMAC - 5.5/10

So disappointing to see the metronome not quite tuned. There was
space for him between their back lines and with Sam Jackson actually
turning up, it was set for Calmac to wreak havoc. But his deftness
deserted him in the frenzied seconds around their box when openings
can be leveraged. His touch was only slightly out, but in these
contests it can be the difference.



SAM JACKSON - 6.5/10

Surprised, Muthufuckas? Muthufucka wore a permanent expression of
bewilderment since he saw the daym teamsheet. But tonight he fancied
turning up at the shindig and laying down some law. The flicks and
sprightliness lifted our tempo, the repertoire of longball switches
opened space, and if he could have topped it off with a late strike
on target we might have been lauding MOTM in a glorious comeback.

It's muthufuckin' evident this Muthufucka turns up for the big Euro
games; can we turn his muthufckin' head for the domestic stuff
with a Royale With Cheese or two? We might get consistent muthufuckin'
rhythm in the midfield. Or maybe it's too daym muthufuckin' late for
that hope...



GRIFF - 4/10

Spent 45 minutes in a dogging session... I'm here all week. Worn out
chasing shadows by half-time and surprisingly replaced before he
really had a chance to impact. or to receive any decent service. Hmm.


THE YETI - 5/10

A similar Griff tale, but with a more harrowing finale. Put himself
about, made a couple of openings but neither of the starting front two
were receiving any kind of support as any exciting forward play petered
out at the vinegar strokes.

Of course, The Yeti, with his late goalscoring record for Celtic was
exactly the man we needed in the box mixing it up as we sought a late
climactic equaliser... Oh, that's right - he was fucking subbed just
as they were given pause for thought. And didn't he look impressed...
Way to improve confidence, Lennony...



SUBS:

CHRISTIE - 6/10

Corpus gave us some spark, getting on the ball and spinning in and out
their defensive block; just didn't get everthing quite up to speed,
like his shooting or his deliveries - great one for the goal, terrible
let downs for late free-kicks and corner when we looked for a Jullien/Lazio
moment.


ROGIC - 5.5/10

Not the typre of player you hope for much as a late sub but Big Oz is
showing more signs of a return to destructive beauty with another cameo
involving cute beguiling touches and creative enterprise. Keep goin',
cobber, as they say in Australian stereotype prose.



ELSHAGYONLASSIE - 6.5/10

Another for the glamour games - swooshed on in a surprise half-time
exchange and swooshed about to effect. Scored a header! Well, he shut
his eyes as he ran at the ball and it kind of smashed off his face but
it looked good.
Scoopped a couple of real good chances over the bar but at least he
was involved and keen; he appeared so on Saturday as well; do we yet
have hope this luxury will become an essential as we dig deep
to carve out some history this season?


KLIMALA KLIMAX - N/A

Go on, son - get on there and give us a right Klimax. In Color.
Just get in and around them and link up with The Yeti and give
them a headache for the last fifteen...
Oh, no, that's right - you were chucked in alone.
And the Milan defence, they did sigh with a little relief, and
they did eat him up like all good Italian-drilled defences do....



GREGGS THE BAKER - N/A

Benched to keep him fresh for the nightshift and get those rolls just
right - little burn on top to compliment the breakfast fried eggs.
So it was a late introduction just as we got a goal back. Presumably to
shore up the 1-2...

And he failed...




LENNONY - 5/10

Okay, changes have been called for earlier when we're toiling.
So half-time it was, and the two subs came on to stir things up.
Check.

His alteration looked positive and produced results - more
openings and a goal back. Check.

And then he killed momentum stone dead by roping in our
adventurous left-sided wingback and angriest striker, by the look
of The Yeti as he growled off the park. Not as growly as me
watching that change.

What. The. Fuck. Said the Celtic support, and Milan. So any hope
of a stranglehold finale as we pinned Milan in and they frantically
tried to cope with twin strikers shifting like barracuda round their
box as their own reserve left back whipped in some stinging crosses,
evaporated.

And we gifted them a third with the last kick.

Lennony's Plan B From Outer Fucking Space.



OVERALL - 6.5/10

Rebounding from the cringing embarrassment of rolling over like
chastised puppies to Scotchland's newest soccer franchise at home
on Black October Saturday was never going to be easy against Italy's
best hard rock band and their Swedish superhero.

But we manned-up and shifted the ball around competently for a
first-half where our spells of possession lit expectations with
tempo and decent combinations. But.. we still managed to look effective
without really affecting.

And then they did what good Italian sides do and picked us off with
class, ensuring the night was no reboot of previous European glories,
instead trailered the horrifying Return Of The Seive starring Alan Ladd,
just in time for Halloween.

Second-half we made a good fist of it until getting sucker-punched
late on. Credit to the players for not going under in Black October
Saturday's shameful manner, but for standing up to a good side and
forcing their way back into the game. We just didn't have the final
killer instinct to turn our moments of hope into lasting memories.

And the possibility of another grand finale to echo last year's Lazio
joy was strangled at birth by personnel tinkering that gave me a sore
head. From banging it off a wall.

All-in, Europe's a distraction; useful for bettering our experience.
A means to test progress, or lack of it. We had something impressive
tonight, for a while either half, but we let it slip. If we can get it back, the
season starts then.



Go Away Now.

Sandman.
Yip - nailed it about the strange substitutions. At least we were better tonight!
 

lcafiero

Well-known member
And then he killed momentum stone dead by roping in our
adventurous left-sided wingback and angriest striker, by the look
of The Yeti as he growled off the park. Not as growly as me
watching that change.
I've been thinking about this ever since the game and I watched the game again just to confirm my nagging suspicion.

I don't think this move was as daft as everyone thinks it is. Did it work? No, but the logic behind it was not too far off: Bringing off Ajeti, who was not exactly effective on the pitch that game, would only mean replacing him with Klimala who, in the past, has done well in this role. While removing Diego was a head scratcher, bear in mind that the substitution was done right after Elyounoussi scored, so adding Taylor for defensive help (where he excels moreso than as a winger) was the trade-off there.

Again, it didn't really work in practice, but in theory it was not as bad a move as everyone thinks. And unless you're Nostradamus, no one can predict how a substitution will go when it's made -- you can only look back afterward and make the assessment.
 

TET

Well-known member
I seldom agree with Sandmans ratings, and tonight is no exception.
What were your ratings

I quite enjoy different peoples take on games

Sandman at least gives a full run down of how he seen game, and well he adds his own blend of analysis

I thought he was quite accurate on most of the players, albeit I assume in a tongue in cheek way.

But its usually quite funny if not deadly accurate.

So which players rating would you have different if not all, and what ratings did you score it?
 

Vigobhoy

Well-known member
What were your ratings

I quite enjoy different peoples take on games

Sandman at least gives a full run down of how he seen game, and well he adds his own blend of analysis

I thought he was quite accurate on most of the players, albeit I assume in a tongue in cheek way.

But its usually quite funny if not deadly accurate.

So which players rating would you have different if not all, and what ratings did you score it?
I enjoy other peoples thoughts too. Does not mean I have to agree.
 
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