SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v HIBHEROIN League Cup Semi

Sandman

Well-known member
SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v HIBHEROIN League Cup Semi



"Accounts? You want accounts? How about 1, 2, 3...I could go on,
I'm here all week...Or how about an account of how Pennywise the
clown taught me this eye trick? That's all the accounts I got to
smile about..."

Dave King stand-up routine at the Comedy Klub, Edmiston Drive, Glasgow



Dear Santa,

Thought I'd get this in early as stocks are sure to run out soon:

Popcorn.
Jelly.
Ice Cream.


Thanks, Sandman.







THE WALL - 6.5/10

So impenetrable that Trump's asked to clone him. Great footwork
displayed but no chance with either Hibs goal. Everything else
he handled with consummate ease.



PINGPONG - 7.5/10

And the wee Mhan gets the big gig and he does not freeze, not
in a million years - coincidentally the same time it will take
the Huns to post balanced acounts.
And what pace and guile and toughness he displayed - LMFAO,
what a wee player we got for the cost of a Morelos handjob
(in Colombian pesos, according to Richard Gough)...



AJER - 8/10

Is he Iron Age or is he Silicon Age? No, He's probably Fintech Age
and kudos if you understood that. Totally on his game for this major
Treble leg, and exemplified how to negotiate Hampden pressure with
his stoical resistance when we'd conceded soft goals.



JULLIEN CLARY - 7/10

Smashed about very early-on with an elbow by Hibee jakey enforcer,
it was reassuring just to see him compete admirably for the rest of
the game.
Nasty head-knocks will not deny our VVD MkII when it comes to making
his mark and sealing his team's win - a very good thing to note.


DJANGO - 6/10

Missing Wednesday as he was out guising as Jamie Foxx. So a recall for the
big game, cementing him as number one left-back athough he's mostly to be
found fifty yards in advance, like a scout on a battlefield. Ludicrous bad
fortune at edge of box when his tackle inadvertently set up their first.
Then, suddenly, come H-T he was gone, hamstring the current prognosis.
Heal soon, Jamie.



BROON - 8.5/10 MOTM

Is that a moon, Huns? No, it's the fucking Death Star. And who's at the
helm? - why, THE Celtic captain of this century; a man so focussed on
his ultimate glory - the TEN - he'll willingly sacrifice his own life,
but only behind that of the opposition keeper, who had the misfortune
to mishandle and parry into the path of Mr.Destiny. A double. His
Celtic history will be the ambition of millions to come. Hail the
new Cesar.


CALMAC - 7/10

Marvellous tap-in for a goal he's deserved over months of travail.
Looked like he was enjoying himself from the start, although he
lost a bit of a grip on proceedings after their second; more like
an example of everyone losing their momentum at the same time.
Saw us through to yet another final; expect him to enforce his
superiority on such a game.



ROGIC - 6.5/10

There he was, the surprise inclusion, but at Hampden - scene of
his most glorious moment in the Hoops. Could he shake off the
ennui of recent warm-up appearances?
Well, some of his passing first-half was guileful enough to
flummox Death itself in The Seventh Seal; incisive balls through
their inside channels scattered the pieces across the chessboard
and let us prey upon the chaos.
He faded, but that is what Big Oz does until he gets the full
90 fitness and ultimate glory in his sights.


FORREST - 7/10

The purveyor of the evening's WTF? moment. With Prestwick
bars poised at Defcon 'INCOMING' our most prolifically destructive
player was whipped off the park quicker than he can whip it
out on your average glass-collector's Saturday night run.
Only Lennony will have the reasoning he was hooked after
a fine game's tantalising and teasing, post-hitting and
bitterly unlucky not to score, yet digging out the cross of
the season to provide our opener. My explanation - hadn't
shaved all week...



ELSHAGYONLASSIE - 8/10

Well, he's enjoying himself. Popping up everywhere he shouldn't
be, thanks to the excellent movement of his compatriots - got a
double, remains the project that might be the season difference;
we will watch and hope he doesn't get complacent - remember,
El, - you're not a real Tim in the Hoops until you've papped THEMS
senseless with a hat-trick. Great scoring start, though.



FRENCH EDDY - 7.5/10

Fantastic solo front play. How many times did he drop-off his
markers and turn on them? Twice he set-up our goals, many a time
he could have scored or provided more.
He is beginning to understand and play that solo-role brilliantly,
but the lament of 'if only' chimes in when we consider how lethal
he might be given a suitable strike-partner.
How about those set-ups for our goals? Deft.



SUBS:

CORPUS - N/A

On he came because it was almost Sunday and nobody wants
to fuck with his Dad, or his maybe-Dad... And definitely not
at the sacred site of his announcing to the metaverse his
vital bearing uopon The Snake's Celtic destiny.



HAYES - 6.5/10

Thou shalt not deny the Hayes. Across time and space his
mere presence will alter the course of mankind. Or lend a
helping hand, like in May's final where his reserve-choice
appearance was but a footnote in the 'Trust Johnny To Win
the Day' quantum-relativity project. Play Johnny, win Johnny.
Johnny wins, history is perplexed.


HAT ATTACK - N/A

The big guy looke das bewildered as us when he was asked to
replace our player of the year without ever being as high up
the park as Jamesy's favoured position. Yet the big trooper
appeared, did no wrong, let wee Pingpong wander about as
glazed as us.





LENNONY - 8/10

Juggled his first-choice yet again, and yet again flummoxed
his opponent with a side dynamically atuned to relenteless
attack which had them pinned back against their gameplan
and unable to do much without conceding two goals within
the first fifteen minutes.
Win a cup game in the first twenty minutes is the football
mantra ringing through the decades; a truism still viable
now as it was when Billy McNeill first kicked John Greig's
head off; Legitimately.
However, the second-half changes - Whit?! Hopefully those
more sober than me will offer rational explanations around
the Flying Flasher quid pro quo.
However, despite the above, it should be stated that Lennony
sent out the message - no fucking around. And his side,
inspired by Captain Marvel (without the tits), eventually
saw them off. A job done well. A final in the bag.



OVERALL - 8/10

It was Halloween after all - so we turned up dressed as
Borussia Dortmund and they chose to go as Prince-meets-Wall-
Street with their purple Gordon Geko pinstripe Leith-drug-dealer
craving-acceptance jammies.
So we all roll home from the shallow eaves of hollow Hampden
a lot more relieved than we might have anticipated even though
we papped five past them; somehow because it's Hibs there seems
to be a supernatural air of jinxing jockeying with reality in
the pyro smog.
Yet, the Bhoys did it with some style to spare and some great
memories to ingest. There's the first port of call on the
historical treasure map notched-in with the point of Broony's
cutlass for next month.
Could have been a tricky tea-time expedition to grimy Hamdump
but the Bhoys know there's history in the making and played
like they had their stories written; Victory for the righteous.
So there goes Heckingbottom - a name like something you catch
from a gay Yorkshire farmer - whining about offside decisions;
how about penalties for basketball? That's Unionist MPs
waving flags for you...
The players - atuned as they are- will be ready for any
challenge. We, the support, will get our jolies form Sunday's
Hun shitebaggery when they bottle it from absentee Sex-Pest
Harry Potter's Negected Nandos' dead-cat bounce, or Jambos,
or whatever the Trainspotting boys slated their supremacist
Empirical rivals.

May the most filthy Hun fascist enclave (toss a coin tomorrow...)
lose the right to play the magnificent Hoops in the first leg of
the QUADROPHENIA REBEL TREBLE!

We are there. Bring them on.



Go Away Now.

Sandman.
 
Last edited:

Bridie Bhoy

Well-known member
SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v HIBHEROIN League Cup Semi



"Accounts? You want accounts? How about 1, 2, 3...I could go on,
I'm here all week...Or how about an account of how Pennywise the
clown taught me this eye trick? That's all the accounts I got to
smile about..."

Dave King stand-up routine at the Comedy Klub, Edmiston Drive, Glasgow



Dear Santa,

Thought I'd get this in early as stocks are sure to run out soon:

Popcorn.
Jelly.
Ice Cream.


Thanks, Sandman.







THE WALL - 6.5/10

So impenetrable that Trump's asked to clone him. Great footwork
displayed but no chance with either Hibs goal. Everything else
he handled with consummate ease.



PINGPONG - 7.5/10

And the wee Mhan gets the big gig and he does not freeze, not
in a million years - coincidentally the same time it will take
the Huns to post balanced acounts.
And what pace and guile and toughness he displayed - LMFAO,
what a wee player we got for the cost of a Morelos handjob
(in Colombian pesos, according to Richard Gough)...



AJER - 8/10

Is he Iron Age or is he Silicon Age? No, He's probably Fintech Age
and kudos if you understood that. Totally on his game for this major
Treble leg, and exemplified how to negotiate Hampden pressure with
his stoical resistance when we'd conceded soft goals.



JULLIEN CLARY - 7/10

Smashed about very early-on with an elbow by Hibee jakey enforcer,
it was reassuring just to see him compete admirably for the rest of
the game.
Nasty head-knocks will not deny our VVD MkII when it comes to making
his mark and sealing his team's win - a very good thing to note.


DJANGO - 6/10

Missing Wednesday as he was out guising as Jamie Foxx. So a recall for the
big game, cementing him as number one left-back athough he's mostly to be
found fifty yards in advance, like a scout on a battlefield. Ludicrous bad
fortune at edge of box when his tackle inadvertently set up their first.
Then, suddenly, come H-T he was gone, hamstring the current prognosis.
Heal soon, Jamie.



BROON - 8.5/10 MOTM

Is that a moon, Huns? No, it's the fucking Death Star. And who's at the
helm? - why, THE Celtic captain of this century; a man so focussed on
his ultimate glory - the TEN - he'll willingly sacrifice his own life,
but only behind that of the opposition keeper, who had the misfortune
to mishandle and parry into the path of Mr.Destiny. A double. His
Celtic history will be the ambition of millions to come. Hail the
new Cesar.


CALMAC - 7/10

Marvellous tap-in for a goal he's deserved over months of travail.
Looked like he was enjoying himself from the start, although he
lost a bit of a grip on proceedings after their second; more like
an example of everyone losing their momentum at the same time.
Saw us through to yet another final; expect him to enforce his
superiority on such a game.



ROGIC - 6.5/10

There he was, the surprise inclusion, but at Hampden - scene of
his most glorious moment in the Hoops. Could he shake off the
ennui of recent warm-up appearances?
Well, some of his passing first-half was guileful enough to
flummox Death itself in The Seventh Seal; incisive balls through
their inside channels scattered the pieces across the chessboard
and let us prey upon the chaos.
He faded, but that is what Big Oz does until he gets the full
90 fitness and ultimate glory in his sights.


FORREST - 7/10

The purveyor of the evening's WTF? moment. With Prestwick
bars poised at Defcon 'INCOMING' our most prolifically destructive
player was whipped off the park quicker than he can whip it
out on your average glass-collector's Saturday night run.
Only Lennony will have the reasoning he was hooked after
a fine game's tantalising and teasing, post-hitting and
bitterly unlucky not to score, yet digging out the cross of
the season to provide our opener. My explanation - hadn't
shaved all week...



ELSHAGYONLASSIE - 8/10

Well, he's enjoying himself. Popping up everywhere he shouldn't
be, thanks to the excellent movement of his compatriots - got a
double, remains the project that might be the season difference;
we will watch and hope he doesn't get complacent - remember,
El, - you're not a real Tim in the Hoops until you've papped THEMS
senseless with a hat-trick. Great scoring start, though.



FRENCH EDDY - 7.5/10

Fantastic solo front play. How many times did he drop-off his
markers and turn on them? Twice he set-up our goals, many a time
he could have scored or provided more.
He is beginning to understand and play that solo-role brilliantly,
but the lament of 'if only' chimes in when we consider how lethal
he might be given a suitable strike-partner.
How about those set-ups for our goals? Deft.



SUBS:

CORPUS - N/A

On he came because it was almost Sunday and nobody wants
to fuck with his Dad, or his maybe-Dad... And definitely not
at the sacred site of his announcing to the metaverse his
vital bearing uopon The Snake's Celtic destiny.



HAYES - 6.5/10

Thou shalt not deny the Hayes. Across time and space his
mere presence will alter the course of mankind. Or lend a
helping hand, like in May's final where his reserve-choice
appearance was but a footnote in the 'Trust Johnny To Win
the Day' quantum-relativity project. Play Johnny, win Johnny.
Johnny wins, history is perplexed.


HAT ATTACK - N/A

The big guy looke das bewildered as us when he was asked to
replace our player of the year without ever being as high up
the park as Jamesy's favoured position. Yet the big trooper
appeared, did no wrong, let wee Pingpong wander about as
glazed as us.





LENNONY - 8/10

Juggled his first-choice yet again, and yet again flummoxed
his opponent with a side dynamically atuned to relenteless
attack which had them pinned back against their gameplan
and unable to do much without conceding two goals within
the first fifteen minutes.
Win a cup game in the first twenty minutes is the football
mantra ringing through the decades; a truism still viable
now as it was when Billy McNeill first kicked John Greig's
head off; Legitimately.
However, the second-half changes - Whit?! Hopefully those
more sober than me will offer rational explanations around
the Flying Flasher quid pro quo.
However, despite the above, it should be stated that Lennony
sent out the message - no fucking around. And his side,
inspired by Captain Marvel (without the tits), eventually
saw them off. A job done well. A final in the bag.



OVERALL - 8/10

It was Halloween after all - so we turned up dressed as
Borussia Dortmund and they chose to go as Prince-meets-Wall-
Street with their purple Gordon Geko pinstripe Leith-drug-dealer
craving-acceptance jammies.
So we all roll home from the shallow eaves of hollow Hampden
a lot more relieved than we might have anticipated even though
we papped five past them; somehow because it's Hibs there seems
to be a supernatural air of jinxing jockeying with reality in
the pyro smog.
Yet, the Bhoys did it with some style to spare and some great
memories to ingest. There's the first port of call on the
historical treasure map notched-in with the point of Broony's
cutlass for next month.
Could have been a tricky tea-time expedition to grimy Hamdump
but the Bhoys know there's history in the making and played
like they had their stories written; Victory for the righteous.
The players - atuned as they are- will be ready for any
challenge. We, the support, will get our jolies form Sunday's
Hun shitebaggery when they bottle it from absentee Sex-Pest
Harry Potter's Negected Nandos' dead-cat bounce, or Jambos,
or whatever the Trainspotting boys slated their supremacist
Empirical rivals.

May the most filthy Hun fascist enclave (toss a coin tomorrow...)
lose the right to play the magnificent Hoops in the first leg of
the QUADROPHENIA REBEL TREBLE!

We are there. Bring them on.



Go Away Now.

Sandman.
Brilliant as always, Sandman.
 

Niall J

Well-known member
Leverndale Hospital is a mental health facility at Crookston, Glasgow. The Towerview unit, which has been taken out of use, is Grade A listed...
Well they say it's been taken out of use. Methinks it is just being prepared for an important visitor..

Tell them Sandman before the jacket is over your head. It's not madness, it's genius:cool:
 

lcafiero

Well-known member
A double. His
Celtic history will be the ambition of millions to come. Hail the
new Cesar.
Originally, I was just going to buy one Broony DVD. After the Hibs game, I think I'll buy a case.

Go Away Now.
OK, OK. I'm leaving. But great ratings as always, Sandman. It's a pleasure to refer to them in my blog on a regular basis.

Slamming the door behind me.
 
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