SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v PERTH RANCH HANDS

Sandman

Well-known member
SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v PERTH RANCH HANDS


“You don't get explanations in real life. You just get
moments that are absolutely, utterly, inexplicably odd.”

Neil Gaiman



B.A.BARKAS - WTF?/10

Another game, another saveless 90. Another picking oot net
and booting it exercise. Not sure if he's pants or pointless;
we could almost play without a goalie sometimes.



BITTON - 5/10

Save of the season after ten minutes. Barkas hates him. Always
cool and composed but verging on slack as the urgency around
him evaporated second half.



JULLIEN CLARY - 5.5/10

Good to see him back. and thta wa sabout it. Impact he usually
carries still absent until he's 100%, and it might be too late
by then.



AJER - 5/10

A lumbering presence as ever but not making the impact we needed
today with his forays into their half. Embodies the support's thoughts
with his constantly-bemused onfield scowl.




PINGPONG - 2/10

What happened wee mhan. From tearing up the Milanese sophisticats
to meekly cowed by the coo-farmers. That was, as they say in
Italian, 'Pish'.




CALMAC - 5/10

300th appearance and eventually captain trying to steer a rudderless
ship. But his vital influence is far from present for the 90 this
season and it's telling...



BROON - 6/10

600th appearance and only 599 questioned by armchair Steins since
his debut. Abused early on today for his rainbow flag armband being
'too gay'. Celebrated early by eliminating dangerous soul-traitor
O'Hunnaron from the game. Generally a Broon-esque performance, doing
his designated job.



DREXL - 4/10

Spent his time attempting to bage down a crowded alley before chucking
it for a house party with gang-bangers at half-time.



CORPUS CHRISTIE - 6.5/10 MOTM

Sometimes it's the Strictly audition from Corpus with lovely dancing
feet, but as we struggled late on, he did produce, laying on the goal,
gettign in among it. Sadly, he was tango-ing without a partner


ROGIC - 6/10

Lovely footballer, can't head for shit. Missed that sitter with
his head but once more looked our best can-opener; however we drip-fed
him service in the right areas and not surprisingly our chances dried
up before his energy dissipated.


FRENCH EDDY - 4/10

An Eddy special was missed after 20 minutes and the teeth-grinding
began. If he's not in the groove we struggle because the paltry amount
of chances we're currently creating mostly fall to him.





SUBS:

GREGSS THE BAKER - 5/10

On at half-time because it's Sunday and the ovens shut down early.




EDDIE TURNBULL - 6.5/10

Almost immediate impact as his old bones defied the cold and he clipped
in a sweet ball to create a chance. Then saw Lon Chaney Jr swat away his
deflected strike.



ELSHAGYONLASSIE - 6/10

On. Touch. Goal. Fair enough.


GRIFF - 5/10

We've won! Knew it as soon as he appeared. No, we didn't.




LENNONY - 4/10

"Who's that in the Celtic dugoot?'
'The wee ginger guy? He's the one that was supposed to leave last week'

And so the insufferable incumbent antagonised the twitterati twatterati
haters out of their Sunday fugues by adaciously selecting a team.

And what a team it was... Not one anyone could really argue with but
again it looked directionless and that essential element was strangely
elusive - the verve that champions possess.

Does that come from the boss? Should he expect it from his players?
He's certainly tried enough of them in various combinations, but
he'slike a blind safecracker who's tripped the alarm timer. Only resort
left is to throw in Pistol Pete and Dick Dastardly. But I feel they'll
be actively searching for a different henchman now to save them from the angry
mob.





OVERALL - 2/10

So as the Huns rampage in the frozen north, the angst of the
Celtic support ratches up as we approach a game where even
the three points won't be enough - it'd take a dozen-point
bonus to lower everyone's blood pressure. But that's what
the Huns get with their penalty allocation this season so
The Hoops better suck it up and get it together because at
this rate the Huns won't need any penalties.

The most difficult task in football these days seems to be
kicking-off, somehow managed around a copuple of hours of
virtue signalling. Once we got going after satisfying the
social justice warriors 'nice' ratio, the Bhoys had more
trouble with the Saints first twenty minutes than AC Milan.
To be fair we did look as every bit as dangerous as we did
in the San Siro, but only to ourselves.

Acid test was today; these players have somehow become soft
and vulnerable and desperate - a crucial game pussied away,
a vital three points frittered and surrendered, their chance
to make history almost consigned to the bin. You're not Celtic
any more. Man the barricades.


Sandman. Go Away Now. Like The TEN.
 

Lubos left peg

Well-known member
10 points out of a possible 36. I know some of them came in cup games and euro games but anyone who still wants to rip the pish out of "armchair managers" for daring to criticise or demand lennons is sacked only has to look at that 👆👆👆

I remember, not long ago, The Celtic Star running with a blog telling us all we owe lennon an apology. Who was that again?? Does he still want us to form an orderly queue??
 

Niall J

Well-known member
10 points out of a possible 36. I know some of them came in cup games and euro games but anyone who still wants to rip the pish out of "armchair managers" for daring to criticise or demand lennons is sacked only has to look at that 👆👆👆

I remember, not long ago, The Celtic Star running with a blog telling us all we owe lennon an apology. Who was that again?? Does he still want us to form an orderly queue??
I don’t know which article or what particular blog you refer to, but one thing I do know is this whole situation is not about a Celtic blog, nor a Celtic supporter being in any way responsible for previously supporting or currently backing Neil Lennon.

One thing I do know is every time I feel the necessity to question Lennon, Brown or the board I feel uncomfortable even dirty for doing so.

But what I want, what the vast majority of blogs do, is call out our detractors and say it as we see it. And when we as a club fail, even when that’s a man who I personally admire above and beyond most who have donned the hoops or coached and cajoled us through the topsy turvy world of Celtic, we have to eventually call him out, or when he hasn’t deserved it defend him.

There were times he needed backing and now there are moments when there is likely no way back.

We can all do revisionism when it comes to our opinions. But at the time whatever it was and whoever it was, I can only say it was done with the best of intentions. And that we'll continue to do.
 

michael duffy

Well-known member
I don’t know which article or what particular blog you refer to, but one thing I do know is this whole situation is not about a Celtic blog, nor a Celtic supporter being in any way responsible for previously supporting or currently backing Neil Lennon.

One thing I do know is every time I feel the necessity to question Lennon, Brown or the board I feel uncomfortable even dirty for doing so.

But what I want, what the vast majority of blogs do, is call out our detractors and say it as we see it. And when we as a club fail, even when that’s a man who I personally admire above and beyond most who have donned the hoops or coached and cajoled us through the topsy turvy world of Celtic, we have to eventually call him out, or when he hasn’t deserved it defend him.

There were times he needed backing and now there are moments when there is likely no way back.

We can all do revisionism when it comes to our opinions. But at the time whatever it was and whoever it was, I can only say it was done with the best of intentions. And that we'll continue to do.
👏 👏👏👏🍺
 

Lubos left peg

Well-known member
I don’t know which article or what particular blog you refer to, but one thing I do know is this whole situation is not about a Celtic blog, nor a Celtic supporter being in any way responsible for previously supporting or currently backing Neil Lennon.

One thing I do know is every time I feel the necessity to question Lennon, Brown or the board I feel uncomfortable even dirty for doing so.

But what I want, what the vast majority of blogs do, is call out our detractors and say it as we see it. And when we as a club fail, even when that’s a man who I personally admire above and beyond most who have donned the hoops or coached and cajoled us through the topsy turvy world of Celtic, we have to eventually call him out, or when he hasn’t deserved it defend him.

There were times he needed backing and now there are moments when there is likely no way back.

We can all do revisionism when it comes to our opinions. But at the time whatever it was and whoever it was, I can only say it was done with the best of intentions. And that we'll continue to do.

Understand that completely Niall. Still not nice getting called armchair managers and entitled for calling out the failings of our manager and squad. Im not a player or manager who has been in and around football for 20 to 30 odd years so the "well what would you do" question is a poor come back when we dare to criticise. We expect the the men who run our club to have a clue. I work with aircon..if a customers not happy with something its my job to sort it.. I dont turn around and say "aye, what would you do better"...that seems to be the argument of those when having a go at us "armchair managers". We just want the team to perform how we know they can. We are angry that they don't seem to give a shit and the management don't seem to have a clue how to fix it.
 

Niall J

Well-known member
Understand that completely Niall. Still not nice getting called armchair managers and entitled for calling out the failings of our manager and squad. Im not a player or manager who has been in and around football for 20 to 30 odd years so the "well what would you do" question is a poor come back when we dare to criticise. We expect the the men who run our club to have a clue. I work with aircon..if a customers not happy with something its my job to sort it.. I dont turn around and say "aye, what would you do better"...that seems to be the argument of those when having a go at us "armchair managers". We just want the team to perform how we know they can. We are angry that they don't seem to give a shit and the management don't seem to have a clue how to fix it.
I fully understand your point Lubo, in particular the comparison with your own job. We are all armchair football fans and we all have a view from that perspective as to how to fix things. The use of those phrases are probably borne of frustration but really amount to falling into the divide and conquer narrative (y)
 

Spherical Planet

Well-known member
Sounds like passing the buck a bit, but at various points, I guess we've all been right and all been wrong.

In all honesty though, I've been far more wrong than I have been right throughout these last two seasons.

I did think Lenny was a good choice, not necessarily the best choice, but for that time and place when he was offered the interim post, then that fit nicely with what had to be done.

Once the treble was secured that season, then I thought the permanent job was fair reward.

As a caveat to that, I did feel it was equally important to allow Lenny the opportunity to choose the men around him and I think that in not allowing this was a gross error of judgement by the board and also the manager for bending to their will.

The truth is, we are all pretty much in the dark regarding the internal politics of the club and it's that lack of transparency that started us on the road to where we currently are now.

Did Lenny have the authority to hire his own men? Does he have veto power over potential signings? Does he contribute in any way throughout the transfer policy (both incoming and outgoing).

We hear rumours, suggestions and various other titbits, but looking at our current circumstances - it would appear that Lenny only has authority over choosing the teams for matches.

That doesn't appear to be working too well.

It's only an uninformed opinion, but there seems to be a disconnect among the players and that is all too apparent in their performances. Too many players playing for themselves and a distinct lack of unity and cohesion.

Of the far too many goals we have conceded, I haven't seen any finger-pointing, arguing, fighting, or sheer rage........just a mild acceptance and a slow trudge up to halfway to restart.

I'd be fucking raging at the types of goal we have conceded!!!

Needless penalties, invisible marking, powder-puff tackling, non-existent positioning and piss-poor communication.

Show some fucking anger, boys!!! Stop feeling sorry for yourselves and start earning those handsome rewards you get. Play football.......it's the greatest job in the world, at least look as if you're happy to be there, even if you aren't. Stop pissing and moaning about somebody pulling top dollar down and go and prove you're worth top dollar too. Stop playing and acting like Prima Donna's and take some personal responsibility.

I don't care if the manager is still trying to locate his plot. I don't care if the coaching staff are as useless as soap to a hun. I don't care if the board are a set of ignorant pompous self-aggrandising arseholes. Professional pride and a bit of fucking dignity should be enough to get you by.

They might pay your wages. They might own your contract. They might use and abuse you, but it's US that really fucking love you. It's US that really fucking care.

Forget anything and anybody else.........you play for US. You carry OUR hopes and ambitions, not for the share price or the dividends of the suits.

This is worse than the shite we had to endure during the 90's. At least we knew we were shite for some of it. This??? This is just abject surrender.
 
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