Sandman
Well-known member
SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v SANFRANSEVCO 1690ers
"All you racists, fascists, nihilists and bigots
I'm callin' you out, you Huns
I've felt your hurt, drank your fear
Your actions will not stand
Get on your knees, bend to pray
Look at me, you can change
You racists, fascists, nihilists and bigots
I'm callin' you out, you Huns."
- Paul Cauthen, "Everybody Walkin' This Land"
THE FRIENDLY GHOST - 5/10
Our friendy ghost looked haunted himsef - maybe haunted
by himself - as he began teeing up Hun chances then
pulling off top saves from them.
Overall, though, he too appeared afflicted by the general
lack of purpose and direction that cost us so dear, although
he did avoid invoking the spectre of Ian Andrews and settled
for just conceding the three.
SCHLUPP THE 'RA - 5/10
Ah, at last a weakness- Jeff can't jump. Startlingly out-leapt
by floating hobbit Ratskin for a nightmare start. Fluke? Nope -
later bailed by Kasper after a similar failure from one of
their corners.
Almost made amends in the second-half resurgence with a
rasping strike, but wasn't the imposing strength we've
seen in his appearances so far.
WAYNE GRETZKY - 2/10
A calamitous day as the Marauding Moose transforms into
the Disastrous Donkey. Probably AJ's most ineffectual
and negative performance of the season - seemed essentially
detached mentally, at significent moments in the game.
After a slog of a first 45 where he struggled to link with
Kuhn effectively, the second brought his crucial errors to
a climactic, costly nadir - slipping at a long ball, missing
the recovery tackle that would have stopped the winner, then
blowing a redemptive chance at the very death by smashing
the roof off the Jock Stein with the roof of the net beckoning.
A nightmare indeed.
GET CARTER - 5/10
Dogged and ultimately undone by indecision. Was it due to his
regular defensive partners being absent? Can't say that because
their replacement was excellent.
But CCV's unusual lack of commanding presence was illustrated
at the depressing duck out of a long ball challenge and thus
facilitate the winner; when in doubt clear it out.
APOLLO CREED - 7/10
Wouldn't you know it - big 'not Rocky' gets a gig by default
and ONCE MORE shows his regular omission up for the bizarre
reluctance on the manager's part to incorporate his qualities;
and he's got plenty.
First game since Prince Charles sent in his special-teams
butler 'pillowface' to make his mother 'more comfortable'.
And, ridiculously, Maik was the only defender properly on
his game, bailing out others and his keeper; coming close
to scoring too with a header he'd hope to have done better
with, and might have but for rustiness.
I've said it before - go check, pedants - but it's a mystery
why he's unfavoured. Never can recall him letting us down when
called upon - and it seems to have been in from the freezer,
never mind cold.
One thing he seems to have an edge over others on - he's a big
game player and was straight in with the urgency and committment
required; No nonsense defending and physical domination. If he's
canned again after this, you've got to wonder what the fuck's
going on.
THE TERMINATOR - 5.5/10
So can young Arne fill the McGregor boots? No. Not yet, at any
case. Once he's shaken the fugue like the rest, he got in synch
with luke and Reo and we had a sweet period of domination that
was defined by a superbly-worked equaliser involving the three
of them.
But we failed collectively to capitalise on that and slay the
reeling zombies. He'll be disappointed that he lost the grip
on the middle before the required killer blow could be struck.
HIGHLAND TOFFEE - 5.5/10
He too, like Arne, took a while to shake the lethargy and the
Hun press. When he did hit a flow, however, it looke dlike we'd
run away with the game; slid in a peach of a pass for Reo to
equalise and but for the run of the ball may have scored himself
on a couple of occasions.
But it didn't happen, and the sucker-punch leaves him and the
others looking like lightweights who failed to land the winning
blows in their big moments.
HAKUNA HATATE - 7.5/10 MOTM
The ONLY Hooped hero who appeared to have his touch in from
the start: that stunning strike producing the save of the game,
and watch closely on 20 minutes - looking sauve, in the groove,
turning superbly, seeking a cohort. But despite lovely spatial
play in the first-half, his endeavours fell short until the
rest around him tuned-in later.
So after the break we got peak Reo carving the Huns open,
nailing the equaliser and closing in on a spectacular winner.
Unfortunately mostly everyone else just couldn't maintain the
level of quality he'd found and his deserved and self-engineered
triumph didn't come to pass.
TAKINTE - 3/10
What's become of the German Jinky? Should have been Ridvan
on toast for lunch but somehow the appearance of the Narnia
escapee spooked Nick and not once did we get a Kuhn glide or
uplifting piece of magic despite him being in dangerous
possession several times and appearing on the brink of
conjuring something. Incredibly disappointing.
LORD KATSUMOTO - 7/10
Irrepressible Daizen does it again; terrific leap to nod us
back in the game. Seemed to be leading the comeback assault
and had Tavpen squealing like a pig for most of that second
period. But our lack of service to him overall was criminal,
and costly - no blame on him for today's outcome.
NOTEBOOK - 7/10
Whit? Subbed? The fucking ringleader of the fenian uprising?
The mhan with the dancing feet and talent who was neglected
for the opening half hour until we realised Nick and AJ were
a worse double act than Burke and Hare for disposing of the
deid.
So Jota took it upon himself to single-handedly get into the
Huns - mad electric bursting runs with flailing limbs had them
all at sea, defending desperately, keeper performing acrobatics
and ultimately undid them as his perfect pitch laid on Daizen's
header.
HE was the instigator, the twisted firestarter and HE should
have stayed on the park and be let run free like some hybrid
of 80s popster and chainsaw-slaying Ash of Evil Dead fame;
desgined to Hunskelp...
But no. Ego intervened. More of THAT later...
"All you racists, fascists, nihilists and bigots
I'm callin' you out, you Huns
I've felt your hurt, drank your fear
Your actions will not stand
Get on your knees, bend to pray
Look at me, you can change
You racists, fascists, nihilists and bigots
I'm callin' you out, you Huns."
- Paul Cauthen, "Everybody Walkin' This Land"
THE FRIENDLY GHOST - 5/10
Our friendy ghost looked haunted himsef - maybe haunted
by himself - as he began teeing up Hun chances then
pulling off top saves from them.
Overall, though, he too appeared afflicted by the general
lack of purpose and direction that cost us so dear, although
he did avoid invoking the spectre of Ian Andrews and settled
for just conceding the three.
SCHLUPP THE 'RA - 5/10
Ah, at last a weakness- Jeff can't jump. Startlingly out-leapt
by floating hobbit Ratskin for a nightmare start. Fluke? Nope -
later bailed by Kasper after a similar failure from one of
their corners.
Almost made amends in the second-half resurgence with a
rasping strike, but wasn't the imposing strength we've
seen in his appearances so far.
WAYNE GRETZKY - 2/10
A calamitous day as the Marauding Moose transforms into
the Disastrous Donkey. Probably AJ's most ineffectual
and negative performance of the season - seemed essentially
detached mentally, at significent moments in the game.
After a slog of a first 45 where he struggled to link with
Kuhn effectively, the second brought his crucial errors to
a climactic, costly nadir - slipping at a long ball, missing
the recovery tackle that would have stopped the winner, then
blowing a redemptive chance at the very death by smashing
the roof off the Jock Stein with the roof of the net beckoning.
A nightmare indeed.
GET CARTER - 5/10
Dogged and ultimately undone by indecision. Was it due to his
regular defensive partners being absent? Can't say that because
their replacement was excellent.
But CCV's unusual lack of commanding presence was illustrated
at the depressing duck out of a long ball challenge and thus
facilitate the winner; when in doubt clear it out.
APOLLO CREED - 7/10
Wouldn't you know it - big 'not Rocky' gets a gig by default
and ONCE MORE shows his regular omission up for the bizarre
reluctance on the manager's part to incorporate his qualities;
and he's got plenty.
First game since Prince Charles sent in his special-teams
butler 'pillowface' to make his mother 'more comfortable'.
And, ridiculously, Maik was the only defender properly on
his game, bailing out others and his keeper; coming close
to scoring too with a header he'd hope to have done better
with, and might have but for rustiness.
I've said it before - go check, pedants - but it's a mystery
why he's unfavoured. Never can recall him letting us down when
called upon - and it seems to have been in from the freezer,
never mind cold.
One thing he seems to have an edge over others on - he's a big
game player and was straight in with the urgency and committment
required; No nonsense defending and physical domination. If he's
canned again after this, you've got to wonder what the fuck's
going on.
THE TERMINATOR - 5.5/10
So can young Arne fill the McGregor boots? No. Not yet, at any
case. Once he's shaken the fugue like the rest, he got in synch
with luke and Reo and we had a sweet period of domination that
was defined by a superbly-worked equaliser involving the three
of them.
But we failed collectively to capitalise on that and slay the
reeling zombies. He'll be disappointed that he lost the grip
on the middle before the required killer blow could be struck.
HIGHLAND TOFFEE - 5.5/10
He too, like Arne, took a while to shake the lethargy and the
Hun press. When he did hit a flow, however, it looke dlike we'd
run away with the game; slid in a peach of a pass for Reo to
equalise and but for the run of the ball may have scored himself
on a couple of occasions.
But it didn't happen, and the sucker-punch leaves him and the
others looking like lightweights who failed to land the winning
blows in their big moments.
HAKUNA HATATE - 7.5/10 MOTM
The ONLY Hooped hero who appeared to have his touch in from
the start: that stunning strike producing the save of the game,
and watch closely on 20 minutes - looking sauve, in the groove,
turning superbly, seeking a cohort. But despite lovely spatial
play in the first-half, his endeavours fell short until the
rest around him tuned-in later.
So after the break we got peak Reo carving the Huns open,
nailing the equaliser and closing in on a spectacular winner.
Unfortunately mostly everyone else just couldn't maintain the
level of quality he'd found and his deserved and self-engineered
triumph didn't come to pass.
TAKINTE - 3/10
What's become of the German Jinky? Should have been Ridvan
on toast for lunch but somehow the appearance of the Narnia
escapee spooked Nick and not once did we get a Kuhn glide or
uplifting piece of magic despite him being in dangerous
possession several times and appearing on the brink of
conjuring something. Incredibly disappointing.
LORD KATSUMOTO - 7/10
Irrepressible Daizen does it again; terrific leap to nod us
back in the game. Seemed to be leading the comeback assault
and had Tavpen squealing like a pig for most of that second
period. But our lack of service to him overall was criminal,
and costly - no blame on him for today's outcome.
NOTEBOOK - 7/10
Whit? Subbed? The fucking ringleader of the fenian uprising?
The mhan with the dancing feet and talent who was neglected
for the opening half hour until we realised Nick and AJ were
a worse double act than Burke and Hare for disposing of the
deid.
So Jota took it upon himself to single-handedly get into the
Huns - mad electric bursting runs with flailing limbs had them
all at sea, defending desperately, keeper performing acrobatics
and ultimately undid them as his perfect pitch laid on Daizen's
header.
HE was the instigator, the twisted firestarter and HE should
have stayed on the park and be let run free like some hybrid
of 80s popster and chainsaw-slaying Ash of Evil Dead fame;
desgined to Hunskelp...
But no. Ego intervened. More of THAT later...
nah” .looks like a lilo…classic
