SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v THE UNDATEABLES

Sandman

Well-known member
SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v THE UNDATEABLES





"Life will knock us down, but we can choose whether or not
to stand back up."

Karate Kid



"Ha ha ha, Ah shut yer Hun pubs fur the weekend..."

Jimmy Krankie




B.A BARKAS - 6/10

From the beautiful and ancient vistas of Greece to the ugly
and anachronistic royalist plague of Scotia - with no time
to clear his saddened eyes his defence had exposed him like
a burd on a Kos nudie beach, and we were one down and bared
to oncoming defeat.

No chance with the second pinball-wanker one either, and
didn't really get much else to do as our backline dominated
possession and gave him a Wimbledon neck with monotonous
side-to-side switches.

Fed-up, he took it upon himself to run up to the halfway
line with the ball in injury time and considered cracking
off a shot; if he'd heard me he might have...



AJER - 6/10

Raw and angry and wearing a concerned expression for 90
minutes. No concealing the big lhad's reservations when
there's something not right.

Made the outstanding Celtic play of the day with a life/shame/
face/humiliation/goal-saving tackle on the Hun's Hun, the
concentration camp collaborator kapo, when he was clean through.

And no viking heroics could salvage anything, including a valiant
surge forward to set up Griff late on. He must be anticipating
the return of big Jullien Clary with some relief.



WELSH - 5/10

Well, kid, a strangely quiet day that ended in a depressing
defeat and the notion that you've broken into a team of
half-assed incompetents who might benefit from your own method
of simply doing what is asked of you.

Not overwhelmed, but must have been bemused by the flurry of
vomitous blue around him and the lack of support from his
elders.



ALAN LADD - 2/10

'Look out behind ye!'. Pantomine was never on the resume
after his movie career, mainly because he never does look
out behind him.

He need to be our battling ball-winner who we throw up
as a big danger at set-pieces; unfortunately we've cast him
as swaggering lynchpin and there's an air of big-sky country
ranch-hand about him when he looks up and fires a fifty-yard
pass into the non-crowd.

And the joint failure to mark the biggest ugliest potato-heided
Hun competently twice, giving it the finest moments of its career,
is troubling to say the least.




LAXALTIVE - 7/10 MOTM

Welcome to the party, Diego. Hair briaded in Benidorm,
feet gilded in Milan. There's quality in the left boot
as we saw with a whipped early cross and plenty forward
endeavour thereafter.

Railed agianst the norm by looking up for it, and threw
himself about in that new-guy-looking-to-impress way we
might have expected, but kudos to him for not hiding
among his choking teammates.



PINGPONG - 2/10

Looked like a tourist wandering the Bangkok alleys in
search of a batless table tennis tournament. Horrorshow
afternoon for the wee mhan as everything went wrong.
Isolated and bereft of any kinetic invention after a
couple of early encouraging runs, he was ultimately a
passenger who ocassionally drifted inside and gave the
ball away.



BROON - 5/10

Job carried out in Broon fashion - booked, induced bookings,
battled, bullying... just nothing happening around him and
unable to fire up his cohorts. Last forlorn hope of a miserable
day is that he's in the dressing room growling at the inept.
Curious incident with the Hun cartoon gimp - had Broon clipped
at his lumpen heid, would there have been a card?



CALMAC - 6/10

Jeez, even Calmac can misplace a simple pass when there's
nothing but confusion in the patterns around him. In saying
that, he still was our most industrious, always looking for
the ball, despairing mostly at the outcome of his work.

Once again outnuumbered in the middle and froced to operate
twenty yards deeper than his optimum effectiveness. I'll say
it again... Broon and Sam jackson/A.N. Other in tandem, with
Calmac ahead doing damage with his deft touch between their
lines. Or.. Calmac and Broon with Rogic ahead. But we do need a
creative sperarheading the midfield trio.



SAM JACKSON - 3/10

Muthufuckin' meanderin' Muthufucka failed to impose or
get righteous in any way whatsoever with those muthufuckin'
Ringos or stand up to the tyranny of evil men; a failed
muthufuckin' enterprise all-round.



ELSHAGYONLASSIE - 6/10

Started like a chump, gifting the ball away which led to their first
goal, then missed a sitter three minutes later. But usual anonyimity
was eschewed as he played himself into the game and looked our man
most likely to create some havoc when he got on the ball.

Then he got subbed. Eh...



KLIMALA KLIMAX - 4/10

Meh. Was looking forward to him rumbling up their rearguard with pace
and hustle. But forgot he may need some service - or a strike partner -
to bring out his best.



SUBS:


THE YETI - N/A

We threw him on and didn't throw the ball anywhere near him.


GRIFF - 6/10

Now there's more like it - a Hunskelping veteran comes on with a
mission in mind and if we'd had another ten mad bastards like Griff,
keen to slaughter The Pigs Of Hate (© Sandman) we may have been
a different proposition entirely.

Unlucky when latching onto Ajer's direct ball and rounding the Usual
Suspect for every rape crime in the Northern hemisphere, but the ball
didn't break kindly.



ROGIC - N/A

Too late and too early for Big Oz - no time to impact and not fit
enough, yet, to have an edge.



GREGGS THE BAKER - N/A

To be honest, soon as I saw him on the touchline, I knew we'd chucked
it.



EDDIE TURNBULL - N/A

Appeared late on to find that the Huns are still as smelly and aesthetically
vulgar as they were the last time he played them 70 years ago.




LENNONY - 2/10

Well, cunning plans don't always play out, Baldrick. Everyone's got
a plan until they get punched in the face.

This reshuffle gave Slippy G the finest stauner of his time in Glasgow
as we filled one side with the playgroup's finest and took the pressure
off their lumbering central defence by floating Elshag, isolating Paddy,
and letting the midfield three get overrun in a pastiche of Black Xmas
I & II.

Lennony still can't decide to stick or twist on his formations and
today was the apex of that bewildering rumination; a malfunctioning
system in which the players clattered about unsure.

Back to basics, please. Give the squad a framework, a consistent shape
to operate from, or the TEN will run away from you, Lennony. Quickly.

And where's the thunder gone? Behind those gathering thunderclouds...




OVERALL - 3/10

A point for every time we threatened. So many adjectives, so few expansive
enough to sum up the abject failure of that 90 minutes, but every one
prefixed by 'fucking'. My personal choice for today would be the quaint
Scottish colloquialism, 'pish'.

One thing we appear fantastic at is casually knocking the ball about at
the back then giving it away in an aimless forward movement that lacks any
certainty or conviction.

A test of the mettle like today, when faced with an organised horde of
ugliness determined to rip the joy out the Hoops, needs approached with tempo
and the mindset to combat their unhealthy excitement.

But this isn't currently a functioning Celtic team. It's a collective of
individuals going through the motions and hoping something happens for them
rather than dictating their own destiny.

There was a worrying staleness about us today that reeks of late Strachan era
or the teeth-grinding monotony of - dare I utter it - Lennony's final days
first-time round. Verve is missing. We may need to call in Richard Ashcroft
to tune us up... I'm here all weekend...

Somewhere, we've mislaid our purpose and acquired a fatalistic resignation.
With no spark there'll be no fireworks, with no appetite we won't feed on any
silverware.

It looks like we're going to be under pressure and on the tails of the half-season
Champions as they go for three-in-a-row. Make sure that's all the titles they
claim, Celtic.



Go Away Now

Sandman
 

Weedocbhoy60

Well-known member
SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v THE UNDATEABLES





"Life will knock us down, but we can choose whether or not
to stand back up."

Karate Kid



"Ha ha ha, Ah shut yer Hun pubs fur the weekend..."

Jimmy Krankie




B.A BARKAS - 6/10

From the beautiful and ancient vistas of Greece to the ugly
and anachronistic royalist plague of Scotia - with no time
to clear his saddened eyes his defence had exposed him like
a burd on a Kos nudie beach, and we were one down and bared
to oncoming defeat.

No chance with the second pinball-wanker one either, and
didn't really get much else to do as our backline dominated
possession and gave him a Wimbledon neck with monotonous
side-to-side switches.

Fed-up, he took it upon himself to run up to the halfway
line with the ball in injury time and considered cracking
off a shot; if he'd heard me he might have...



AJER - 6/10

Raw and angry and wearing a concerned expression for 90
minutes. No concealing the big lhad's reservations when
there's something not right.

Made the outstanding Celtic play of the day with a life/shame/
face/humiliation/goal-saving tackle on the Hun's Hun, the
concentration camp collaborator kapo, when he was clean through.

And no viking heroics could salvage anything, including a valiant
surge forward to set up Griff late on. He must be anticipating
the return of big Jullien Clary with some relief.



WELSH - 5/10

Well, kid, a strangely quiet day that ended in a depressing
defeat and the notion that you've broken into a team of
half-assed incompetents who might benefit from your own method
of simply doing what is asked of you.

Not overwhelmed, but must have been bemused by the flurry of
vomitous blue around him and the lack of support from his
elders.



ALAN LADD - 2/10

'Look out behind ye!'. Pantomine was never on the resume
after his movie career, mainly because he never does look
out behind him.

He need to be our battling ball-winner who we throw up
as a big danger at set-pieces; unfortunately we've cast him
as swaggering lynchpin and there's an air of big-sky country
ranch-hand about him when he looks up and fires a fifty-yard
pass into the non-crowd.

And the joint failure to mark the biggest ugliest potato-heided
Hun competently twice, giving it the finest moments of its career,
is troubling to say the least.




LAXALTIVE - 7/10 MOTM

Welcome to the party, Diego. Hair briaded in Benidorm,
feet gilded in Milan. There's quality in the left boot
as we saw with a whipped early cross and plenty forward
endeavour thereafter.

Railed agianst the norm by looking up for it, and threw
himself about in that new-guy-looking-to-impress way we
might have expected, but kudos to him for not hiding
among his choking teammates.



PINGPONG - 2/10

Looked like a tourist wandering the Bangkok alleys in
search of a batless table tennis tournament. Horrorshow
afternoon for the wee mhan as everything went wrong.
Isolated and bereft of any kinetic invention after a
couple of early encouraging runs, he was ultimately a
passenger who ocassionally drifted inside and gave the
ball away.



BROON - 5/10

Job carried out in Broon fashion - booked, induced bookings,
battled, bullying... just nothing happening around him and
unable to fire up his cohorts. Last forlorn hope of a miserable
day is that he's in the dressing room growling at the inept.
Curious incident with the Hun cartoon gimp - had Broon clipped
at his lumpen heid, would there have been a card?



CALMAC - 6/10

Jeez, even Calmac can misplace a simple pass when there's
nothing but confusion in the patterns around him. In saying
that, he still was our most industrious, always looking for
the ball, despairing mostly at the outcome of his work.

Once again outnuumbered in the middle and froced to operate
twenty yards deeper than his optimum effectiveness. I'll say
it again... Broon and Sam jackson/A.N. Other in tandem, with
Calmac ahead doing damage with his deft touch between their
lines. Or.. Calmac and Broon with Rogic ahead. But we do need a
creative sperarheading the midfield trio.



SAM JACKSON - 3/10

Muthufuckin' meanderin' Muthufucka failed to impose or
get righteous in any way whatsoever with those muthufuckin'
Ringos or stand up to the tyranny of evil men; a failed
muthufuckin' enterprise all-round.



ELSHAGYONLASSIE - 6/10

Started like a chump, gifting the ball away which led to their first
goal, then missed a sitter three minutes later. But usual anonyimity
was eschewed as he played himself into the game and looked our man
most likely to create some havoc when he got on the ball.

Then he got subbed. Eh...



KLIMALA KLIMAX - 4/10

Meh. Was looking forward to him rumbling up their rearguard with pace
and hustle. But forgot he may need some service - or a strike partner -
to bring out his best.



SUBS:


THE YETI - N/A

We threw him on and didn't throw the ball anywhere near him.


GRIFF - 6/10

Now there's more like it - a Hunskelping veteran comes on with a
mission in mind and if we'd had another ten mad bastards like Griff,
keen to slaughter The Pigs Of Hate (© Sandman) we may have been
a different proposition entirely.

Unlucky when latching onto Ajer's direct ball and rounding the Usual
Suspect for every rape crime in the Northern hemisphere, but the ball
didn't break kindly.



ROGIC - N/A

Too late and too early for Big Oz - no time to impact and not fit
enough, yet, to have an edge.



GREGGS THE BAKER - N/A

To be honest, soon as I saw him on the touchline, I knew we'd chucked
it.



EDDIE TURNBULL - N/A

Appeared late on to find that the Huns are still as smelly and aesthetically
vulgar as they were the last time he played them 70 years ago.




LENNONY - 2/10

Well, cunning plans don't always play out, Baldrick. Everyone's got
a plan until they get punched in the face.

This reshuffle gave Slippy G the finest stauner of his time in Glasgow
as we filled one side with the playgroup's finest and took the pressure
off their lumbering central defence by floating Elshag, isolating Paddy,
and letting the midfield three get overrun in a pastiche of Black Xmas
I & II.

Lennony still can't decide to stick or twist on his formations and
today was the apex of that bewildering rumination; a malfunctioning
system in which the players clattered about unsure.

Back to basics, please. Give the squad a framework, a consistent shape
to operate from, or the TEN will run away from you, Lennony. Quickly.

And where's the thunder gone? Behind those gathering thunderclouds...




OVERALL - 3/10

A point for every time we threatened. So many adjectives, so few expansive
enough to sum up the abject failure of that 90 minutes, but every one
prefixed by 'fucking'. My personal choice for today would be the quaint
Scottish colloquialism, 'pish'.

One thing we appear fantastic at is casually knocking the ball about at
the back then giving it away in an aimless forward movement that lacks any
certainty or conviction.

A test of the mettle like today, when faced with an organised horde of
ugliness determined to rip the joy out the Hoops, needs approached with tempo
and the mindset to combat their unhealthy excitement.

But this isn't currently a functioning Celtic team. It's a collective of
individuals going through the motions and hoping something happens for them
rather than dictating their own destiny.

There was a worrying staleness about us today that reeks of late Strachan era
or the teeth-grinding monotony of - dare I utter it - Lennony's final days
first-time round. Verve is missing. We may need to call in Richard Ashcroft
to tune us up... I'm here all weekend...

Somewhere, we've mislaid our purpose and acquired a fatalistic resignation.
With no spark there'll be no fireworks, with no appetite we won't feed on any
silverware.

It looks like we're going to be under pressure and on the tails of the half-season
Champions as they go for three-in-a-row. Make sure that's all the titles they
claim, Celtic.



Go Away Now

Sandman
Three points too many for Ntcham. Surely the Muthafucka's time is up. 3-5-2 is wearing A bit thin as well.
 

Bigian65

Well-known member
SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v THE UNDATEABLES





"Life will knock us down, but we can choose whether or not
to stand back up."

Karate Kid



"Ha ha ha, Ah shut yer Hun pubs fur the weekend..."

Jimmy Krankie




B.A BARKAS - 6/10

From the beautiful and ancient vistas of Greece to the ugly
and anachronistic royalist plague of Scotia - with no time
to clear his saddened eyes his defence had exposed him like
a burd on a Kos nudie beach, and we were one down and bared
to oncoming defeat.

No chance with the second pinball-wanker one either, and
didn't really get much else to do as our backline dominated
possession and gave him a Wimbledon neck with monotonous
side-to-side switches.

Fed-up, he took it upon himself to run up to the halfway
line with the ball in injury time and considered cracking
off a shot; if he'd heard me he might have...



AJER - 6/10

Raw and angry and wearing a concerned expression for 90
minutes. No concealing the big lhad's reservations when
there's something not right.

Made the outstanding Celtic play of the day with a life/shame/
face/humiliation/goal-saving tackle on the Hun's Hun, the
concentration camp collaborator kapo, when he was clean through.

And no viking heroics could salvage anything, including a valiant
surge forward to set up Griff late on. He must be anticipating
the return of big Jullien Clary with some relief.



WELSH - 5/10

Well, kid, a strangely quiet day that ended in a depressing
defeat and the notion that you've broken into a team of
half-assed incompetents who might benefit from your own method
of simply doing what is asked of you.

Not overwhelmed, but must have been bemused by the flurry of
vomitous blue around him and the lack of support from his
elders.



ALAN LADD - 2/10

'Look out behind ye!'. Pantomine was never on the resume
after his movie career, mainly because he never does look
out behind him.

He need to be our battling ball-winner who we throw up
as a big danger at set-pieces; unfortunately we've cast him
as swaggering lynchpin and there's an air of big-sky country
ranch-hand about him when he looks up and fires a fifty-yard
pass into the non-crowd.

And the joint failure to mark the biggest ugliest potato-heided
Hun competently twice, giving it the finest moments of its career,
is troubling to say the least.




LAXALTIVE - 7/10 MOTM

Welcome to the party, Diego. Hair briaded in Benidorm,
feet gilded in Milan. There's quality in the left boot
as we saw with a whipped early cross and plenty forward
endeavour thereafter.

Railed agianst the norm by looking up for it, and threw
himself about in that new-guy-looking-to-impress way we
might have expected, but kudos to him for not hiding
among his choking teammates.



PINGPONG - 2/10

Looked like a tourist wandering the Bangkok alleys in
search of a batless table tennis tournament. Horrorshow
afternoon for the wee mhan as everything went wrong.
Isolated and bereft of any kinetic invention after a
couple of early encouraging runs, he was ultimately a
passenger who ocassionally drifted inside and gave the
ball away.



BROON - 5/10

Job carried out in Broon fashion - booked, induced bookings,
battled, bullying... just nothing happening around him and
unable to fire up his cohorts. Last forlorn hope of a miserable
day is that he's in the dressing room growling at the inept.
Curious incident with the Hun cartoon gimp - had Broon clipped
at his lumpen heid, would there have been a card?



CALMAC - 6/10

Jeez, even Calmac can misplace a simple pass when there's
nothing but confusion in the patterns around him. In saying
that, he still was our most industrious, always looking for
the ball, despairing mostly at the outcome of his work.

Once again outnuumbered in the middle and froced to operate
twenty yards deeper than his optimum effectiveness. I'll say
it again... Broon and Sam jackson/A.N. Other in tandem, with
Calmac ahead doing damage with his deft touch between their
lines. Or.. Calmac and Broon with Rogic ahead. But we do need a
creative sperarheading the midfield trio.



SAM JACKSON - 3/10

Muthufuckin' meanderin' Muthufucka failed to impose or
get righteous in any way whatsoever with those muthufuckin'
Ringos or stand up to the tyranny of evil men; a failed
muthufuckin' enterprise all-round.



ELSHAGYONLASSIE - 6/10

Started like a chump, gifting the ball away which led to their first
goal, then missed a sitter three minutes later. But usual anonyimity
was eschewed as he played himself into the game and looked our man
most likely to create some havoc when he got on the ball.

Then he got subbed. Eh...



KLIMALA KLIMAX - 4/10

Meh. Was looking forward to him rumbling up their rearguard with pace
and hustle. But forgot he may need some service - or a strike partner -
to bring out his best.



SUBS:


THE YETI - N/A

We threw him on and didn't throw the ball anywhere near him.


GRIFF - 6/10

Now there's more like it - a Hunskelping veteran comes on with a
mission in mind and if we'd had another ten mad bastards like Griff,
keen to slaughter The Pigs Of Hate (© Sandman) we may have been
a different proposition entirely.

Unlucky when latching onto Ajer's direct ball and rounding the Usual
Suspect for every rape crime in the Northern hemisphere, but the ball
didn't break kindly.



ROGIC - N/A

Too late and too early for Big Oz - no time to impact and not fit
enough, yet, to have an edge.



GREGGS THE BAKER - N/A

To be honest, soon as I saw him on the touchline, I knew we'd chucked
it.



EDDIE TURNBULL - N/A

Appeared late on to find that the Huns are still as smelly and aesthetically
vulgar as they were the last time he played them 70 years ago.




LENNONY - 2/10

Well, cunning plans don't always play out, Baldrick. Everyone's got
a plan until they get punched in the face.

This reshuffle gave Slippy G the finest stauner of his time in Glasgow
as we filled one side with the playgroup's finest and took the pressure
off their lumbering central defence by floating Elshag, isolating Paddy,
and letting the midfield three get overrun in a pastiche of Black Xmas
I & II.

Lennony still can't decide to stick or twist on his formations and
today was the apex of that bewildering rumination; a malfunctioning
system in which the players clattered about unsure.

Back to basics, please. Give the squad a framework, a consistent shape
to operate from, or the TEN will run away from you, Lennony. Quickly.

And where's the thunder gone? Behind those gathering thunderclouds...




OVERALL - 3/10

A point for every time we threatened. So many adjectives, so few expansive
enough to sum up the abject failure of that 90 minutes, but every one
prefixed by 'fucking'. My personal choice for today would be the quaint
Scottish colloquialism, 'pish'.

One thing we appear fantastic at is casually knocking the ball about at
the back then giving it away in an aimless forward movement that lacks any
certainty or conviction.

A test of the mettle like today, when faced with an organised horde of
ugliness determined to rip the joy out the Hoops, needs approached with tempo
and the mindset to combat their unhealthy excitement.

But this isn't currently a functioning Celtic team. It's a collective of
individuals going through the motions and hoping something happens for them
rather than dictating their own destiny.

There was a worrying staleness about us today that reeks of late Strachan era
or the teeth-grinding monotony of - dare I utter it - Lennony's final days
first-time round. Verve is missing. We may need to call in Richard Ashcroft
to tune us up... I'm here all weekend...

Somewhere, we've mislaid our purpose and acquired a fatalistic resignation.
With no spark there'll be no fireworks, with no appetite we won't feed on any
silverware.

It looks like we're going to be under pressure and on the tails of the half-season
Champions as they go for three-in-a-row. Make sure that's all the titles they
claim, Celtic.



Go Away Now

Sandman
Take it 6/10 for the goalie wiz a joke 😂😂😂😂 it’s a funny wan right enougho
 

Winning Captains

Administrator
Staff member
SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v THE UNDATEABLES





"Life will knock us down, but we can choose whether or not
to stand back up."

Karate Kid



"Ha ha ha, Ah shut yer Hun pubs fur the weekend..."

Jimmy Krankie




B.A BARKAS - 6/10

From the beautiful and ancient vistas of Greece to the ugly
and anachronistic royalist plague of Scotia - with no time
to clear his saddened eyes his defence had exposed him like
a burd on a Kos nudie beach, and we were one down and bared
to oncoming defeat.

No chance with the second pinball-wanker one either, and
didn't really get much else to do as our backline dominated
possession and gave him a Wimbledon neck with monotonous
side-to-side switches.

Fed-up, he took it upon himself to run up to the halfway
line with the ball in injury time and considered cracking
off a shot; if he'd heard me he might have...



AJER - 6/10

Raw and angry and wearing a concerned expression for 90
minutes. No concealing the big lhad's reservations when
there's something not right.

Made the outstanding Celtic play of the day with a life/shame/
face/humiliation/goal-saving tackle on the Hun's Hun, the
concentration camp collaborator kapo, when he was clean through.

And no viking heroics could salvage anything, including a valiant
surge forward to set up Griff late on. He must be anticipating
the return of big Jullien Clary with some relief.



WELSH - 5/10

Well, kid, a strangely quiet day that ended in a depressing
defeat and the notion that you've broken into a team of
half-assed incompetents who might benefit from your own method
of simply doing what is asked of you.

Not overwhelmed, but must have been bemused by the flurry of
vomitous blue around him and the lack of support from his
elders.



ALAN LADD - 2/10

'Look out behind ye!'. Pantomine was never on the resume
after his movie career, mainly because he never does look
out behind him.

He need to be our battling ball-winner who we throw up
as a big danger at set-pieces; unfortunately we've cast him
as swaggering lynchpin and there's an air of big-sky country
ranch-hand about him when he looks up and fires a fifty-yard
pass into the non-crowd.

And the joint failure to mark the biggest ugliest potato-heided
Hun competently twice, giving it the finest moments of its career,
is troubling to say the least.




LAXALTIVE - 7/10 MOTM

Welcome to the party, Diego. Hair briaded in Benidorm,
feet gilded in Milan. There's quality in the left boot
as we saw with a whipped early cross and plenty forward
endeavour thereafter.

Railed agianst the norm by looking up for it, and threw
himself about in that new-guy-looking-to-impress way we
might have expected, but kudos to him for not hiding
among his choking teammates.



PINGPONG - 2/10

Looked like a tourist wandering the Bangkok alleys in
search of a batless table tennis tournament. Horrorshow
afternoon for the wee mhan as everything went wrong.
Isolated and bereft of any kinetic invention after a
couple of early encouraging runs, he was ultimately a
passenger who ocassionally drifted inside and gave the
ball away.



BROON - 5/10

Job carried out in Broon fashion - booked, induced bookings,
battled, bullying... just nothing happening around him and
unable to fire up his cohorts. Last forlorn hope of a miserable
day is that he's in the dressing room growling at the inept.
Curious incident with the Hun cartoon gimp - had Broon clipped
at his lumpen heid, would there have been a card?



CALMAC - 6/10

Jeez, even Calmac can misplace a simple pass when there's
nothing but confusion in the patterns around him. In saying
that, he still was our most industrious, always looking for
the ball, despairing mostly at the outcome of his work.

Once again outnuumbered in the middle and froced to operate
twenty yards deeper than his optimum effectiveness. I'll say
it again... Broon and Sam jackson/A.N. Other in tandem, with
Calmac ahead doing damage with his deft touch between their
lines. Or.. Calmac and Broon with Rogic ahead. But we do need a
creative sperarheading the midfield trio.



SAM JACKSON - 3/10

Muthufuckin' meanderin' Muthufucka failed to impose or
get righteous in any way whatsoever with those muthufuckin'
Ringos or stand up to the tyranny of evil men; a failed
muthufuckin' enterprise all-round.



ELSHAGYONLASSIE - 6/10

Started like a chump, gifting the ball away which led to their first
goal, then missed a sitter three minutes later. But usual anonyimity
was eschewed as he played himself into the game and looked our man
most likely to create some havoc when he got on the ball.

Then he got subbed. Eh...



KLIMALA KLIMAX - 4/10

Meh. Was looking forward to him rumbling up their rearguard with pace
and hustle. But forgot he may need some service - or a strike partner -
to bring out his best.



SUBS:


THE YETI - N/A

We threw him on and didn't throw the ball anywhere near him.


GRIFF - 6/10

Now there's more like it - a Hunskelping veteran comes on with a
mission in mind and if we'd had another ten mad bastards like Griff,
keen to slaughter The Pigs Of Hate (© Sandman) we may have been
a different proposition entirely.

Unlucky when latching onto Ajer's direct ball and rounding the Usual
Suspect for every rape crime in the Northern hemisphere, but the ball
didn't break kindly.



ROGIC - N/A

Too late and too early for Big Oz - no time to impact and not fit
enough, yet, to have an edge.



GREGGS THE BAKER - N/A

To be honest, soon as I saw him on the touchline, I knew we'd chucked
it.



EDDIE TURNBULL - N/A

Appeared late on to find that the Huns are still as smelly and aesthetically
vulgar as they were the last time he played them 70 years ago.




LENNONY - 2/10

Well, cunning plans don't always play out, Baldrick. Everyone's got
a plan until they get punched in the face.

This reshuffle gave Slippy G the finest stauner of his time in Glasgow
as we filled one side with the playgroup's finest and took the pressure
off their lumbering central defence by floating Elshag, isolating Paddy,
and letting the midfield three get overrun in a pastiche of Black Xmas
I & II.

Lennony still can't decide to stick or twist on his formations and
today was the apex of that bewildering rumination; a malfunctioning
system in which the players clattered about unsure.

Back to basics, please. Give the squad a framework, a consistent shape
to operate from, or the TEN will run away from you, Lennony. Quickly.

And where's the thunder gone? Behind those gathering thunderclouds...




OVERALL - 3/10

A point for every time we threatened. So many adjectives, so few expansive
enough to sum up the abject failure of that 90 minutes, but every one
prefixed by 'fucking'. My personal choice for today would be the quaint
Scottish colloquialism, 'pish'.

One thing we appear fantastic at is casually knocking the ball about at
the back then giving it away in an aimless forward movement that lacks any
certainty or conviction.

A test of the mettle like today, when faced with an organised horde of
ugliness determined to rip the joy out the Hoops, needs approached with tempo
and the mindset to combat their unhealthy excitement.

But this isn't currently a functioning Celtic team. It's a collective of
individuals going through the motions and hoping something happens for them
rather than dictating their own destiny.

There was a worrying staleness about us today that reeks of late Strachan era
or the teeth-grinding monotony of - dare I utter it - Lennony's final days
first-time round. Verve is missing. We may need to call in Richard Ashcroft
to tune us up... I'm here all weekend...

Somewhere, we've mislaid our purpose and acquired a fatalistic resignation.
With no spark there'll be no fireworks, with no appetite we won't feed on any
silverware.

It looks like we're going to be under pressure and on the tails of the half-season
Champions as they go for three-in-a-row. Make sure that's all the titles they
claim, Celtic.



Go Away Now

Sandman
That's it up on The Celtic Star now Sandman with the usual edits to stop us getting banned from all the usual places. Thought you were very generous to the goalkeeper while a little too tough on wee Frimpong. Dreadful performance, fist time I've struggled to get your Definitive Ratings up. 4-3-3 which can turn into a 4-5-1 if needed is the way to go surely?
 

Steviebhoy67

Well-known member
Tbh honest Laxalt was at one point the only guy who showed any urgency and get us forward. He whipped in more crosses today than Taylor has managed in his Celtic career so far. Ajer was also on his form and saved us a couple of times. Klimala ran his heart out and received fuck all decent service so he's excused. The rest? Not good enough regarding attitude or commitment. How Lenny will sleep tonight god knows cos we deserve so much better and he needs to wake up.
 

Bridie Bhoy

Well-known member
Tbh honest Laxalt was at one point the only guy who showed any urgency and get us forward. He whipped in more crosses today than Taylor has managed in his Celtic career so far. Ajer was also on his form and saved us a couple of times. Klimala ran his heart out and received fuck all decent service so he's excused. The rest? Not good enough regarding attitude or commitment. How Lenny will sleep tonight god knows cos we deserve so much better and he needs to wake up.
100% agree. I would add that Welsh was OK for most of the game too, but was natively caught out a couple of times. Apart from that no-one even cared.!
 

Bridie Bhoy

Well-known member
On the plus point of Laxalts debut let's not forget, he will be brilliant when he's properly up to speed to send in balls for Griff and co. That's been a thorn for us this season on the left.
As long as we play a striker who will attack these crosses. If we stick Eddy up front on his own then there is no point.

And why not use Laxalt for taking corners so we can stick our excellent strikers of a ball (Christie and CalMac) on the edge of the box to drive in any clearances that can be deflected into the net? If Griff is on ww know he'll take corners too instead of being in the box waiting to take advantage of any half chance!
 

michael duffy

Well-known member
As long as we play a striker who will attack these crosses. If we stick Eddy up front on his own then there is no point.

And why not use Laxalt for taking corners so we can stick our excellent strikers of a ball (Christie and CalMac) on the edge of the box to drive in any clearances that can be deflected into the net? If Griff is on ww know he'll take corners too instead of being in the box waiting to take advantage of any half chance!
Good shout BB 🍺
 

Bigian65

Well-known member
Tbh honest Laxalt was at one point the only guy who showed any urgency and get us forward. He whipped in more crosses today than Taylor has managed in his Celtic career so far. Ajer was also on his form and saved us a couple of times. Klimala ran his heart out and received fuck all decent service so he's excused. The rest? Not good enough regarding attitude or commitment. How Lenny will sleep tonight god knows cos we deserve so much better and he needs to wake up.
Think whatever medication he’s oan will help cause that ain’t oor Neil Lennon
 

Bridie Bhoy

Well-known member
Think whatever medication he’s oan will help cause that ain’t oor Neil
I apologise in advance for speculating publicly on someone's mental health but he has the look of someone on medication for his problems and maybe that has taken the edge off of his desire. I may be way off of the mark here and so I'm out of order. I hope he is healthy, but I also hope he sorts out our team's issues pretty damn quick before it is too late.
 

_Neil_

Well-known member
I apologise in advance for speculating publicly on someone's mental health but he has the look of someone on medication for his problems and maybe that has taken the edge off of his desire. I may be way off of the mark here and so I'm out of order. I hope he is healthy, but I also hope he sorts out our team's issues pretty damn quick before it is too late.
If that is the case, I would think he should be put somewhere out of the limelight to deal with things in private and not stuck at the forefront of a demanding campaign to create history with all the pressure and need to keep pushing and learning and motivating. Someone else should be brought in to take the reins.
 

CarlisleReiver

Well-known member
I don't think greek wall did too much wrong.... but again his only job (like a few games this season) was to pick the ball out of his net. I thought Welsh had a good game for being thrown in there.... if we had played with another 10 lads that had his desire we might not have been beaten.

I've never rated Olivier Ntcham but I've never been one for slagging off players..... but he went missing today.....has anyone found him?
 

Lemon

Well-known member
Please let's not blame NLs mental health for that shit show today. If he was clinically depressed he would not be getting out his bed never mind get to work and if he is disinterested/apathetic it would be noticed on the training ground surely. He looked like he didn't know what to do and was resigned to the fact that his players were not up for it. It was just not good enough from Neil and players, forget excuses, the lot of them have until Xmas - maximum - to get this sorted, or I think DD will have to release money he did not think he would have to release.
 

Tony Soprano

Well-known member
I don't think greek wall did too much wrong.... but again his only job (like a few games this season) was to pick the ball out of his net. I thought Welsh had a good game for being thrown in there.... if we had played with another 10 lads that had his desire we might not have been beaten.

I've never rated Olivier Ntcham but I've never been one for slagging off players..... but he went missing today.....has anyone found him?
Ntchams a waste of a jersey,some goal in Rome but
 
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