Sandman
Well-known member
SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v UTERUS
"Coming together is a beginning.
Keeping together is progress.
Working together is success."
- Henry Ford.
THE FRIENDLY GHOST - 7/10
Ping! Woosh!
Hold...
Hooold...
Thunk!
'Whit the... Wis that?'
"Their second whippin' in, and then Kasper landin'
on the deck half a minute later..."
Caught on his heels like the rest of the side with
the pace of their break and couldn't sort his feet.
But that partial-error aside, he'd already saved
the skins, and the psyche, with a blinder of a fingertip
save right on half-time which gets better with every
replay.
Still the big character we need for the big games.
I mean, just look at his opposite number...
KATIE - 7/10
What an admirable, admirable shift from the 'veteran'.
Not content with a stoical left-back stint, he pops
up as a right winger to set up the opener with a byeline
burst and cutback Jamesy would have been proud of.
Did appear Donald Ducked for much of his participation
and maybe hooking in a deputy is in order before we end
January with faces pressed up against the transfer window
again.
MELLOW YELLOW - 6.5/10
The big lang streak of gallus is staking his claim
for the position and did himself no harm tonight with
a confident 90 minutes in which he was tested all-round.
Maybe caught being too eager on ocassion but will
learn more composure and nous with every coming
game.
CRUSTY THE CLOWN - 7/10
Big mhan's on a mission - creamed in that header and
celebrated with a growl. Sacrificed by skullduggery
on Sunday, he mostly kept his wits about him despite
a few lapses when they stepped up gears unexpectedly.
OF JUSTICE - 7.5/10 MOTM
Liam? Man of the match? Again? Seems a recurring theme
this season but who's going to argue - well, a handful
of virgins... - when you've got the insurance of the Ginger
Baresi preventing mass heart attacks with a stunning block
as the final ten minutes ticked away. Make no mistake -
that goes in for 4-3 and we're rocking.
Ultimately, that was emblematic of his overall precision
in positional play; terrific, under-appreciated intuition
shown in the regular winning of headers from set-pieces.
Made that look easy by dint of well-focussed footballing
intelligence.
Under-appreciated, that is, everywhere except HERE.
And by MON...
THE TERMINATOR - 6.5/10
That pen, son... chef's kiss. But still yet to find the
swaggering midfield-boss within that his physique
and ability promises. Played well, and you might say
well-within himself.
But there's a proper player under the surface; reminds
me a bit of Broony when he was raw and inconsistent,
then suddenly it came together. Maybe...
CALMAC - 6.5/10
Much revived after Sunday's absence, the real Calmac was
back in control. Then out of control, then regained it,
lost it, got it back for the closing quarter. Pendulum he
is, indeed... But this was much more the natural footballing
skipper we know.
NEGAN - 6.5/10
"Where? There! - goal!"
'Eh, where's Ne... There! - goal!'
"Huvnae seen him fur... Ooft, nearly another."
And just like that...*puff!*... he was gone.
YING - 6/10
Enthusiastic, like a puppy who's eaten a curlywurly
and seems to run about in the same pattern. Showed
some nifty footwork and a nip or two that got him
a yellow, but still felt as if he was playing on
the fringes of a game he should have relished.
LORD KATSUMOTO - 4/10
Couldn't trap an ant with a satellite dish; when
Daizen's touch is off, the front rows of the stands
know it.
Nothing would stick, proving he's no target man -
just fire it over the top and let him chase it.
But his press is precious, and barking-mad Barkas
felt it, much to our advantage.
TUTANKHAMUN - 5/10
The ghost of Mikey J often haunts the Parkhead
wings, and tonight I swore I saw it more than once...
The balance of poor outings isn't in his favour
as he promises much yet delivers little once more.
Needs to step it up to keep his position in the starting
eleven, because spring's on the horizon and we all know
Jamesy will be rising with the sap, looking for action...
Right, ladies?
SUBS -
ITCHYCOO PARK - N/A
Back, but rusty and needed reminding which way he
was shooting a couple of times.
SAINT BERNARDO - N/A
Still hanging aorund in hope or with purpose? We'll see
if Paulo lasts the window. Always a useful deputy, but
needs game time to get up to speed.
JAMESY - N/A
When you need experience to keep the Dutch well-pumped,
only Ron Jeremy could claim to be more effective than
throwing in Jamesy to keep the balls rotating and give
them a proposition to think about. Oo-er Missus...
GREAT - N/A
Preferred again, but with less time to induce anxiety,
mercifully, and at least the big lhad didn't take any
chances.
HIGHLAND TOFFEE - N/A
Luke, Luke's nearly scored a... Well, a kind of, erm,
cross-shot-lob-dink-clump-hingummy. Close.
FATHER MARTIN AND SAMWISE GANGEE - 7.5/10
Faith in the faithful. Gave Sunday's tribulation ten
a chance to show their Euro-bollocks and dismiss the
Gorgie episode as a point won and never to be spoken
of again, by setting up some minor glory.
And they responded. Then tried to put the boss in a
nursing home with an indifference to tactical discipline
for about half an hour, before remembering who was in
the dugout and shook themselves down to reinforce the
victory and make it through to the knockouts.
All about the mindset, is Martin, and so far he's been
the right man for the right motivation; instilling the
character the squad required to compete properly. And
now he can mark his reboot with a first creditable
achievement.
MIBBERY - 6/10
A Twelve-year-old Italian with the whistle. What can
possibly go wrong? For them, quite a bit after VAR
intervenedat the penalty to the confusion of everyone
bar the Big Lebowski... "Well, yeah, that's just, like,
your opinion, man..."
And there was a bit of understandable anxiety after
Bologna and Sunday when we picked up a couple of
bookings within five minutes. But in the end, any
threat to our numbers dissipated, much like the
Italian resistance in WWII...
OVERALL - 7.5/10
Magic, that's the job done, let's hit the pub before
half ti... fuck. And, fuuuuck...
A canter began to look like a hobble and the crushing
anxiety of throwing away a three-goal lead and qualification
loomed like Allan McGregor over a drunken debutant at a
charity ball.
And we were getting far too charitable as slackness replaced
intensity and a number of teams looked like replacing us in
the draw for the playoffs.
However, like I alluded to above - CHARACTER is the by-word
for our title-winning run to come. It's the magic ingredient
this squad had lost, but shows plenty of promising signs
of regaining under the current coaching staff.
I include them all in that - mental Fozzy, intense Shaun,
Open University Strachan and his laptap, and of course
the genial boss, still quipping his way through interviews
and getting his point across in his cheeky inscrutable
manner.
That's a combination behind the scenes that resembles
a movie assembly of comical, disparate characters about
to go on a suicide mission against all odds. And here we
are.
One madcap scene at a time we're progressing and the
team's finding a way to get the job done in the end.
We're into act two now, and it involves a prestigious Euro
road-trip and a domestic ding-dong against cannon-fodder
we know we can take out to set up a Battle Royale of a final
third act.
Games like tonight, wrestled in and out of our grasp like
a slippery fish, are the start of the character arc that
just may take this Celtic side to unexpected heights.
Provided, of course, that they stay on-script...
Go Away Now
Sandman
"Coming together is a beginning.
Keeping together is progress.
Working together is success."
- Henry Ford.
THE FRIENDLY GHOST - 7/10
Ping! Woosh!
Hold...
Hooold...
Thunk!
'Whit the... Wis that?'
"Their second whippin' in, and then Kasper landin'
on the deck half a minute later..."
Caught on his heels like the rest of the side with
the pace of their break and couldn't sort his feet.
But that partial-error aside, he'd already saved
the skins, and the psyche, with a blinder of a fingertip
save right on half-time which gets better with every
replay.
Still the big character we need for the big games.
I mean, just look at his opposite number...
KATIE - 7/10
What an admirable, admirable shift from the 'veteran'.
Not content with a stoical left-back stint, he pops
up as a right winger to set up the opener with a byeline
burst and cutback Jamesy would have been proud of.
Did appear Donald Ducked for much of his participation
and maybe hooking in a deputy is in order before we end
January with faces pressed up against the transfer window
again.
MELLOW YELLOW - 6.5/10
The big lang streak of gallus is staking his claim
for the position and did himself no harm tonight with
a confident 90 minutes in which he was tested all-round.
Maybe caught being too eager on ocassion but will
learn more composure and nous with every coming
game.
CRUSTY THE CLOWN - 7/10
Big mhan's on a mission - creamed in that header and
celebrated with a growl. Sacrificed by skullduggery
on Sunday, he mostly kept his wits about him despite
a few lapses when they stepped up gears unexpectedly.
OF JUSTICE - 7.5/10 MOTM
Liam? Man of the match? Again? Seems a recurring theme
this season but who's going to argue - well, a handful
of virgins... - when you've got the insurance of the Ginger
Baresi preventing mass heart attacks with a stunning block
as the final ten minutes ticked away. Make no mistake -
that goes in for 4-3 and we're rocking.
Ultimately, that was emblematic of his overall precision
in positional play; terrific, under-appreciated intuition
shown in the regular winning of headers from set-pieces.
Made that look easy by dint of well-focussed footballing
intelligence.
Under-appreciated, that is, everywhere except HERE.
And by MON...
THE TERMINATOR - 6.5/10
That pen, son... chef's kiss. But still yet to find the
swaggering midfield-boss within that his physique
and ability promises. Played well, and you might say
well-within himself.
But there's a proper player under the surface; reminds
me a bit of Broony when he was raw and inconsistent,
then suddenly it came together. Maybe...
CALMAC - 6.5/10
Much revived after Sunday's absence, the real Calmac was
back in control. Then out of control, then regained it,
lost it, got it back for the closing quarter. Pendulum he
is, indeed... But this was much more the natural footballing
skipper we know.
NEGAN - 6.5/10
"Where? There! - goal!"
'Eh, where's Ne... There! - goal!'
"Huvnae seen him fur... Ooft, nearly another."
And just like that...*puff!*... he was gone.
YING - 6/10
Enthusiastic, like a puppy who's eaten a curlywurly
and seems to run about in the same pattern. Showed
some nifty footwork and a nip or two that got him
a yellow, but still felt as if he was playing on
the fringes of a game he should have relished.
LORD KATSUMOTO - 4/10
Couldn't trap an ant with a satellite dish; when
Daizen's touch is off, the front rows of the stands
know it.
Nothing would stick, proving he's no target man -
just fire it over the top and let him chase it.
But his press is precious, and barking-mad Barkas
felt it, much to our advantage.
TUTANKHAMUN - 5/10
The ghost of Mikey J often haunts the Parkhead
wings, and tonight I swore I saw it more than once...
The balance of poor outings isn't in his favour
as he promises much yet delivers little once more.
Needs to step it up to keep his position in the starting
eleven, because spring's on the horizon and we all know
Jamesy will be rising with the sap, looking for action...
Right, ladies?
SUBS -
ITCHYCOO PARK - N/A
Back, but rusty and needed reminding which way he
was shooting a couple of times.
SAINT BERNARDO - N/A
Still hanging aorund in hope or with purpose? We'll see
if Paulo lasts the window. Always a useful deputy, but
needs game time to get up to speed.
JAMESY - N/A
When you need experience to keep the Dutch well-pumped,
only Ron Jeremy could claim to be more effective than
throwing in Jamesy to keep the balls rotating and give
them a proposition to think about. Oo-er Missus...
GREAT - N/A
Preferred again, but with less time to induce anxiety,
mercifully, and at least the big lhad didn't take any
chances.
HIGHLAND TOFFEE - N/A
Luke, Luke's nearly scored a... Well, a kind of, erm,
cross-shot-lob-dink-clump-hingummy. Close.
FATHER MARTIN AND SAMWISE GANGEE - 7.5/10
Faith in the faithful. Gave Sunday's tribulation ten
a chance to show their Euro-bollocks and dismiss the
Gorgie episode as a point won and never to be spoken
of again, by setting up some minor glory.
And they responded. Then tried to put the boss in a
nursing home with an indifference to tactical discipline
for about half an hour, before remembering who was in
the dugout and shook themselves down to reinforce the
victory and make it through to the knockouts.
All about the mindset, is Martin, and so far he's been
the right man for the right motivation; instilling the
character the squad required to compete properly. And
now he can mark his reboot with a first creditable
achievement.
MIBBERY - 6/10
A Twelve-year-old Italian with the whistle. What can
possibly go wrong? For them, quite a bit after VAR
intervenedat the penalty to the confusion of everyone
bar the Big Lebowski... "Well, yeah, that's just, like,
your opinion, man..."
And there was a bit of understandable anxiety after
Bologna and Sunday when we picked up a couple of
bookings within five minutes. But in the end, any
threat to our numbers dissipated, much like the
Italian resistance in WWII...
OVERALL - 7.5/10
Magic, that's the job done, let's hit the pub before
half ti... fuck. And, fuuuuck...
A canter began to look like a hobble and the crushing
anxiety of throwing away a three-goal lead and qualification
loomed like Allan McGregor over a drunken debutant at a
charity ball.
And we were getting far too charitable as slackness replaced
intensity and a number of teams looked like replacing us in
the draw for the playoffs.
However, like I alluded to above - CHARACTER is the by-word
for our title-winning run to come. It's the magic ingredient
this squad had lost, but shows plenty of promising signs
of regaining under the current coaching staff.
I include them all in that - mental Fozzy, intense Shaun,
Open University Strachan and his laptap, and of course
the genial boss, still quipping his way through interviews
and getting his point across in his cheeky inscrutable
manner.
That's a combination behind the scenes that resembles
a movie assembly of comical, disparate characters about
to go on a suicide mission against all odds. And here we
are.
One madcap scene at a time we're progressing and the
team's finding a way to get the job done in the end.
We're into act two now, and it involves a prestigious Euro
road-trip and a domestic ding-dong against cannon-fodder
we know we can take out to set up a Battle Royale of a final
third act.
Games like tonight, wrestled in and out of our grasp like
a slippery fish, are the start of the character arc that
just may take this Celtic side to unexpected heights.
Provided, of course, that they stay on-script...
Go Away Now
Sandman
in out .....in out 
