Tell Me Something Funny

Maria

Well-known member
Here’s something funny.

i was telling my mates in work im choking to go back to a proper rave and was gonna mibees defo do it.

The hun said i’ll take ye 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

An i said n then you woke up 😜
 

Maria

Well-known member
True story was over in Belfast a few years ago visiting friends. World cup 94 was on anyway Ireland had just beat Italy 1-0, weans out in the street going nuts, RUC man says to one of the weans " sure it took an Englishman to get you there"
Wee wean replies "sure it takes 20 British soldiers for you to walk down my street"
Classic πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Best one ever G.

πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘
 

The Shamrock

Well-known member
As you had all been talking about food, I'll throw in a kind of foody true story.

A friend of mine was dining out at an Indian restaurant in the west end and it was still in the day when a cigarette could be smoked at the table after your meal (I know). Anyway, rather than call over the waiter over to go and get an ashtray my pal decided to use the well-known universal sign for smoking by putting her fingers to her lips and blowing so that the waiter would attend with the appropriate receptacle. A couple of minutes later the waiter came over and asked if she was alright with Afghani Black as that was all he had. Didn't know that was on the menu, eh? πŸ˜‹
 

The Deadner

Well-known member
A rabbit was hopping through the Forrest one day minding his own business, when he heard loud groaning coming from behind bushes. He hops around the bushes to see what's going on, only to find a grizzly bear squatting against a tree doin a shite. "Jaysus sorry bigman, I didn't mean to interrupt you" said the rabbit. "No bother" said the bear, "but seeing you're there, answer me this"? "What's that"? Said the rabbit. "Do you ever have trouble with shite sticking to your fur"? Said the bear. "No, why"? Said the rabbit. So the bear lifts the rabbit and cleans his arse with him!
True story!
 

Maria

Well-known member
As you had all been talking about food, I'll throw in a kind of foody true story.

A friend of mine was dining out at an Indian restaurant in the west end and it was still in the day when a cigarette could be smoked at the table after your meal (I know). Anyway, rather than call over the waiter over to go and get an ashtray my pal decided to use the well-known universal sign for smoking by putting her fingers to her lips and blowing so that the waiter would attend with the appropriate receptacle. A couple of minutes later the waiter came over and asked if she was alright with Afghani Black as that was all he had. Didn't know that was on the menu, eh? πŸ˜‹

Aye thats like looking for the cnut wae crocodile shoes when in spain if ye want mischief 🀣🀣
 

Maria

Well-known member
This is too fkn early. Hardly had any sleep n am shattered.

Yet i gotsta pull it out the bag today and smash it at work.

Big challenge is lookin human. Feel like a corpse but no a zombie 🀣

Am soooo tired and no gonna lie a pure feel sorry for masel.

Why do poor people need tae work lol BASTARD 🀣🀣🀣
 

lcafiero

Well-known member
Just got this "dad joke" from a friend and thought I'd pass it on:

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, "I did some schoolwork."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story."
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn."
Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was."
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."
The robot slaps the mother.
Robot for sale.
 
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