Tell Me Something

Maria

Well-known member
#1
I came out of work tonight and there where too many cars and the street was pitch black.

A car flashed and i thought it was my lift so went over opened the door and was about to get in when i noticed it was the wrong car.

Fkn burst oot laughing in the drivers face, profusely apologised and died right there.

πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ

Any funny stories bhoys n ghirls.

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
 

boab1916

Well-known member
#2
I came out of work tonight and there where too many cars and the street was pitch black.

A car flashed and i thought it was my lift so went over opened the door and was about to get in when i noticed it was the wrong car.

Fkn burst oot laughing in the drivers face, profusely apologised and died right there.

πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ

Any funny stories bhoys n ghirls.

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
 

Lubos left peg

Well-known member
#3
Was in Gatwick airport with the family heading up the road. I was in the lift holding my youngest, who is her mum's double...pale skin, pure blue eyes and light blonde hair. Practically white. I'm tanned with dark brown hair and Brown eyes...my little girl was moaning and crying and been a wee beast. I noticed an old lady staring at us and nudging her husband...anyway got out the lift and went to find the missus and my other daughter, who happens to have my dark hair and eyes and tanned skin. This wee old lady and her husband followed us. We reached the missus, she had a look at my missus and daughter and said "ahhh that makes sense" and walked off....I thought it was hilarious!!
 

Lubos left peg

Well-known member
#4
There's a sandwich shop for sale where I live. It's won loads of awards. Sandwich of the year many times....anyway, I'm thinking about buying it. The last owner had to take the business into liquadation. Turned out he was buying meat he couldn't afford. You walk in there and the certificates are plastered all over the wall. Sandwich of the year 2005, 2008, 2011 and so on. If I buy it can I claim those awards?? I mean yes, technically the meat I sell in my sandwiches won't be of the same quality and yes the bread won't be as good and technically yes, I never actually won them....but....it's the same shop..almost the same name. I mean surely it's not false advertisement me claiming those awards are mine....thoughts please?? πŸ˜πŸ€”πŸ˜πŸ€”πŸ˜
 

Maria

Well-known member
#5
Was in Gatwick airport with the family heading up the road. I was in the lift holding my youngest, who is her mum's double...pale skin, pure blue eyes and light blonde hair. Practically white. I'm tanned with dark brown hair and Brown eyes...my little girl was moaning and crying and been a wee beast. I noticed an old lady staring at us and nudging her husband...anyway got out the lift and went to find the missus and my other daughter, who happens to have my dark hair and eyes and tanned skin. This wee old lady and her husband followed us. We reached the missus, she had a look at my missus and daughter and said "ahhh that makes sense" and walked off....I thought it was hilarious!!

OMG πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
 

Maria

Well-known member
#6
There's a sandwich shop for sale where I live. It's won loads of awards. Sandwich of the year many times....anyway, I'm thinking about buying it. The last owner had to take the business into liquadation. Turned out he was buying meat he couldn't afford. You walk in there and the certificates are plastered all over the wall. Sandwich of the year 2005, 2008, 2011 and so on. If I buy it can I claim those awards?? I mean yes, technically the meat I sell in my sandwiches won't be of the same quality and yes the bread won't be as good and technically yes, I never actually won them....but....it's the same shop..almost the same name. I mean surely it's not false advertisement me claiming those awards are mine....thoughts please?? πŸ˜πŸ€”πŸ˜πŸ€”πŸ˜
Sure does sound hilariously familiar πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘
 

Jinky1962

Well-known member
#9
This happened to my brother in law in the early1980s .he lived in lower lenadoon in West belfast in a road that was called doon road.at that time the war was hot and heavy lots of brits and RUC on the streets.this day he was stopped by a brit foot patrol that happened to be a Scots regiment. First they asked his name he said it then his adress he then said number 2 doon road.the Scots soldier then said doon what road.it was funny at the time.
 
#10
Mate of mine parked his car next to mine one day in the pub car park, much drink was taken so we got a taxi home and left the cars, both of which were silver Skodas, next day snowed like hell for hours, so later on that day I walks up expecting to clear snow away etc, only to find my car was the only one already clear of snow, turned out my mate got there before me and cleared the wrong car first🀣🀣🀣
 

Lubos left peg

Well-known member
#11
Mate of mine parked his car next to mine one day in the pub car park, much drink was taken so we got a taxi home and left the cars, both of which were silver Skodas, next day snowed like hell for hours, so later on that day I walks up expecting to clear snow away etc, only to find my car was the only one already clear of snow, turned out my mate got there before me and cleared the wrong car first🀣🀣🀣
Amazing
 

Benignus

Well-known member
#12
Around 20 years ago I'm standing in the oak bar having a few beers with the troops, the pub was filling up nicely when these 2 guys came in and I clocked one right away, so I'm looking over at this guy and trying to remember where I knew him from, by this time I'm ignoring the craic I was having with the lads, next thing the guys looking over at me and we're getting into what I can only describe as a who blinks first competition, the guy looks like he's getting pissed off now and I'm half bevvied just about to go over to ask him if he knows me cause I defo know him, when thankfully my mate nudges me and says " wtf are you trying to out stare John Higgins for," doobies and bevvy are a bad mix.
 

Maria

Well-known member
#13
Around 20 years ago I'm standing in the oak bar having a few beers with the troops, the pub was filling up nicely when these 2 guys came in and I clocked one right away, so I'm looking over at this guy and trying to remember where I knew him from, by this time I'm ignoring the craic I was having with the lads, next thing the guys looking over at me and we're getting into what I can only describe as a who blinks first competition, the guy looks like he's getting pissed off now and I'm half bevvied just about to go over to ask him if he knows me cause I defo know him, when thankfully my mate nudges me and says " wtf are you trying to out stare John Higgins for," doobies and bevvy are a bad mix.

Haha fkn belter B. Love it and can identify πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
 

Larry7

Well-known member
#16
it's the same shop..almost the same name. I mean surely it's not false advertisement me claiming those awards are mine....thoughts please?? πŸ˜πŸ€”πŸ˜πŸ€”πŸ˜
In all conscience, you'd have to change the name to The Sandwich Shop International, watch as your staff walk away to mediocre English outfits (the most desperate will come back in about eight years) and hope that your gullible customers don't start buying Turkish knockoffs of your poorly made Danish crap.

Are you really swivel-eyed enough for this venture?
 

Maria

Well-known member
#18
Here’s one for yeez

Girl i work with no long started dating. She’s 29 and gullible.

Predictable the first bf was a dick coz she’s gullible right.

Well the dick wiz a pilot and his shifts meant they went parking once a fortnight πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Anyway turns out he was always in england trying it on wi his mates lassie.

They finished.

Up steps bobby dazzler number 2. To be fair he sounds like a really nice guy.

Her maw was cleaning her room (ah yeah one of those that live wi the old dear) and came across a pair of lads jeans. So gullible said aw their bobby dazzlers number 2.

Fkd the jeans in a bag and when she met him said here’s yer jeans btw.

Not his πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ™ˆ

Only the kid-on pilots.

Up up n away anyone 😬
 
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