We can all use a laugh

Nick66

Well-known member
This one always made me laugh. My dad would recite and i would giggle as you do when dad pissed and quoting gobbledigook. Thank Dad for making me the confused and cryptic soul i became.
One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead men got up to fight,
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other,

One was blind and the other couldn't, see
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play,
A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"

A paralysed donkey passing by,
Kicked the blind man in the eye,
Knocked him through a nine inch wall,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all,

A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came to arrest the two dead boys,
If you don't believe this story's true,
Ask the blind man he saw it too!
 

Nick66

Well-known member
This one always made me laugh. My dad would recite and i would giggle as you do when dad pissed and quoting gobbledigook. Thank Dad for making me the confused and cryptic soul i became.
One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead men got up to fight,
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other,

One was blind and the other couldn't, see
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play,
A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"

A paralysed donkey passing by,
Kicked the blind man in the eye,
Knocked him through a nine inch wall,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all,

A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came to arrest the two dead boys,
If you don't believe this story's true,
Ask the blind man he saw it too!
One more poetic genius is Spike Milligan.
This is fantastic, if you think without thinking too hard.
The chicken is a noble beast,
The cow it is forlorner'
Standing i the pouring rain'
A leg on every corner.
 

lcafiero

Well-known member
One more poetic genius is Spike Milligan.
This is fantastic, if you think without thinking too hard.
The chicken is a noble beast,
The cow it is forlorner'
Standing i the pouring rain'
A leg on every corner.
Spike Milligan is hilarious, though not well-known in these parts. In the '70s, I worked on a radio show which came on at midnight on Wednesdays, and our lead-in (the show before ours) was recordings of "The Goon Show."
 

Nick66

Well-known member
Spike Milligan is hilarious, though not well-known in these parts. In the '70s, I worked on a radio show which came on at midnight on Wednesdays, and our lead-in (the show before ours) was recordings of "The Goon Show."
There is so much of Spike that's not known. An autobiography of his, Hitler, My part in his downfall, is a fantastic read. It was made into a film and was properly funny. When you mention the goons i'll suggest you youtube Michael Bentine's Potty Time, the children's show. This was one of myfavourites
 

michael duffy

Well-known member
There is so much of Spike that's not known. An autobiography of his, Hitler, My part in his downfall, is a fantastic read. It was made into a film and was properly funny. When you mention the goons i'll suggest you youtube Michael Bentine's Potty Time, the children's show. This was one of myfavourites
Hitler, My part in his downfall, " I'm a hero with cowards legs"! 😹
 

lcafiero

Well-known member
There is so much of Spike that's not known. An autobiography of his, Hitler, My part in his downfall, is a fantastic read. It was made into a film and was properly funny. When you mention the goons i'll suggest you youtube Michael Bentine's Potty Time, the children's show. This was one of myfavourites
I read that book. It's one of my favourites: "At Victoria Station the R.T.O. gave me a travel warrant, a white feather and a picture of Hitler marked 'This is your enemy.' I searched every compartment, but he wasn't on the train. At 4.30, June 2nd, 1940, on a summer's day all mare's tails and blue sky we arrived at Bexhill-on-Sea, where I got off. It wasn't easy. The train didn't stop there.”

:LOL::LOL::LOL::LOL::LOL:
 

50 Shades of Green

Well-known member
Michael Bentine told a story once about Spike, Turns out someone had written to Spike asking for a "Singed" picture for his mum, so Spike gets the matches out burns the corners of a pic and sends it of to the fan.😀

A couple of weeks later he gets another letter from the same guy thanking him for the pic etc but could he possibly send another as the first one was " signed " at the corners..Bentine said Spike laughed for weeks at that.
 

John nó

Well-known member
The HUNS are set to copy Neil lennons call for harmony within the club. In order to accieve this they are in advanced talks for TETLEYS to become there new sponcers. Which in fairness makes perfect sense as they will be able to unite on all counts. The holes in the clubs account's, the klanbase new tops, a slippy press interview and now there ample columbians knee etc etc.
 

The Deadner

Well-known member
This one always made me laugh. My dad would recite and i would giggle as you do when dad pissed and quoting gobbledigook. Thank Dad for making me the confused and cryptic soul i became.
One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead men got up to fight,
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other,

One was blind and the other couldn't, see
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play,
A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"

A paralysed donkey passing by,
Kicked the blind man in the eye,
Knocked him through a nine inch wall,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all,

A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came to arrest the two dead boys,
If you don't believe this story's true,
Ask the blind man he saw it too!
Jaysus I haven't heard that one in years. My father used to tell it to us when we were children.
He used to get me into all sorts of trouble in school by getting me to ask the teachers questions with either cheeky or no answer.
I remember one time he asked me to ask the teacher to describe the scene.....
There is a cat sitting on the branch of a tree. There is a bird on the ground looking up at the cat and there is a full moon in the sky.....
I asked the the teacher and after several wrong answers the teacher said "why don't you share the answer with the class". So I did.....
A birds eye view of a cats arsehole in the moonlight!
I got the fuckin shite hammered out of me.
He pissed himself laughin that night when I told him.
 
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