We can all use a laugh

Across the breakfast table, the young boy squints at his great grandfather.

"Pop," he says, "You're really old."

The old man chuckles. "I certainly am, son."

"How old are you Pop?"

"Why, I'm eighty-nine."

"Wow." the boy is impressed. "How did you get that old, Pop?"

"Well son, I'll tell you." The old man's faces grows serious, and glances to each side conspiratorially. He leans in and fixes his great grandson with a steely look. "Here's the secret. Every morning, I sprinkle a little gunpowder on my oatmeal. I don't know how, but it's kept me fit and healthy all my life."

The boy takes his great grandfather's advice, and indeed it works remarkably. The boy grew up and left behind 4 children, 9 grandchildren, 22 great-grandchildren, and a 16 foot hole in the crematorium wall.
 
Cunts are Cunts, the World over, so endeth the lesson.
Im sure Scottish conts (derogatory name for red neck(erchief) hill billy boys) was short for covenanters, pre orange order Peeppo and Whigg party bulldogs is where Scottish version of cunt originated.

In England its a really nasty word, in scotland its become a name for a bloke you aint sure about.

:p:p:p:p

So not quite the same word.

Orange is the new cont
 
One more poetic genius is Spike Milligan.
This is fantastic, if you think without thinking too hard.
The chicken is a noble beast,
The cow it is forlorner'
Standing i the pouring rain'
A leg on every corner.
I remember reading something written by a former UDR soldier, she was raising money for injured UDR members by writing to celebrities and asking them to give money or goods to auction. Spike Milligan wrote back to her saying he was a proud Irishman and believed in a United Ireland and consequently could not give her money or goods to auction. She wisna happy. Always liked his bizzare humour but liked him more after reading that.
 

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