We can all use a laugh

They said that a mask and gloves were all you needed to go to the supermarket, lying bastards!! Everyone else was wearing clothes too.
Then there was a big X to stand on in the supermarket, fuck that!! I've seen too many Roadrunner cartoons to fall for that shite.
Fuck going to the shops.
Every time I stand on those big X I get an overwhelming urge tae tell a big sob story then sing ma heart oot like on the the talent show
 
Yesterday a customer asked,"In what aisle could I find Irish sausages?"
The assistant asks,"Are you Irish?"
The guy, clearly offended, says "Yes I am, but let me ask you something.
If I'd asked for Italian sausage,would you ask me if I was Italian?
Or if I asked for Bratwurst,would you ask me if I was German?
Or if I asked for a Kosher hot dog, would you ask me if I was a Jew?
Or lf I asked for Chorizo,would you ask me if I was Spanish?
Or if I asked for kielbasa sausage, would you ask if I was Polish?"
The assistant says"No,I probably wouldn't ".The customer says,"Well then,just because I asked for Irish sausages,why did you ask me if Im Irish?"
The assistant replied,"Because your in Halfords ".
 

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