We can all use a laugh


Well-known member
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."

"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"


Well-known member
I found this poem in a book I have called Poverty Safari by Darren McGarvey aka the rapper Loki. The poem is by a guy fae Pollok called Tom Leonard,

Efturryd geenuz iz speel
iboot whut wuz right
nwhut wiz rang
boot this nthat
nthi nix thing

a sayzti thi bloke
nwhut izzit yi caw
yir joab Jimmy

am a liaison coordinator
hi sayz oh good ah sayz
a liaison coordinator

jist whut this erria needs
whut way aw thi unimployment
inaw thi bevvyin
nthi boayz runnin amok
nthi hoossyz fawnty bits
nthi wummin n tranquillisers
it last thiv sent uz
a liaison coordinator

sumdy wia degree
in fuck knows what
getn peyd fur no known
whut the fuck ti day way it.