We can all use a laugh

Wee Jimmy a Celtic fan fae Glesga is over in the USA on holiday, and he drives by this Indian Reservation, when he notices a big sign there that says “Beat the Chief and win $50,000” so he pulls in and asks someone what it means. So this Indian tells him the Chief is in that big tent over there, you pay $20 and go in and ask him any question at all. If the Chief can’t answer it correctly you win $50,000 dollars.

So Jimmy thinks to himself “hmm.. Red Indian he won’t know anything about fitbaw i’ll ask him a fitbaw question”. So he pays his $20 goes in the tent. The chief raises his hand in his traditional Indian greeting and says to Jimmy “How !” Jimmy returns the gesture, then says “Chief Who scored the winning goal in the 1899-1900 Scottish Cup Final ?”

As quick as a flash the Chief says “Sandy McMahon when Celtic beat Queens Park 4-3” ..Wee Jimmys heart sinks when the chief answers correctly, and he walks out the tent deflated.

So 3 years later Jimmy’s back in the USA on another holiday, and decides to have another go at Beat the Chief..so he arrives at the reservation pays his $20 walks in the tent to where the Chief is sitting Jimmy raises his hand and says to the Chief “How !” Quick as a flash the Chief says “Diving heeder 86th minute”
 
I have a colleague with whom I've written software documentation who lives in Stockholm -- a Hammarby fan -- and while talking recently, he told me about the time that he went to Glasgow and went to a Celtic game. This was the 2002, I think he said, the opening game that Celtic won 7-0 over Dunfermline -- he was wearing one of the ntl: jerseys in the photo he shared -- and while in Glasgow he and his friends wore their Swedish national team jerseys. An instant hit with the locals there, thanks to Henrik Larsson.

Anyway, he relayed this joke he was told while there:

"A die-hard Celtic fan dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there St. Peter is standing in the door in the Hoops and he hears cheering behind him. He asks what's going on. Peter says, "Oh, it's game day, Heaven Celtics vs Hell Rangers." The guy looks down and sees all the lost heroes, like Jimmy McGrory. But then he asks, "Who's that bearded guy playing at the top?" St. Peter looks embarrassed and then he says, "It's God. He thinks he's Henrik Larsson."
 
Van update, or WGV as its now known (Wee G** Van)
I've managed to disable its annoying stop start shenanigans, easier than I expected there's a button on the dash that turns it off, result!
Its hill start assist works sometimes but there is a little warning on the dash to let you know when its not working which is a comfort when you've just rolled into the car behind you!
I found out last week that its limited to 70mph, tried everything, cant bypass it, so if you expect me to turn up to save your home from impending doom don't hold your breath.
But today was a low point in its already disappointing standards, I found out its 3 inches short of being able to carry an 8x4 sheet, I mean what the absolute fuck?? Who designs a van that can carry 7 foot 9 sheets??
Fucking hate the thing.
 
Hoopy427 said:
Van update, or WGV as its now known (Wee G** Van)
I've managed to disable its annoying stop start shenanigans, easier than I expected there's a button on the dash that turns it off, result!
Its hill start assist works sometimes but there is a little warning on the dash to let you know when its not working which is a comfort when you've just rolled into the car behind you!
I found out last week that its limited to 70mph, tried everything, cant bypass it, so if you expect me to turn up to save your home from impending doom don't hold your breath.
But today was a low point in its already disappointing standards, I found out its 3 inches short of being able to carry an 8x4 sheet, I mean what the absolute fuck?? Who designs a van that can carry 7 foot 9 sheets??
Fucking hate the thing.
Click to expand...
Must have been a dog lover
 
Hoopy427 said:
Van update, or WGV as its now known (Wee G** Van)
I've managed to disable its annoying stop start shenanigans, easier than I expected there's a button on the dash that turns it off, result!
Its hill start assist works sometimes but there is a little warning on the dash to let you know when its not working which is a comfort when you've just rolled into the car behind you!
I found out last week that its limited to 70mph, tried everything, cant bypass it, so if you expect me to turn up to save your home from impending doom don't hold your breath.
But today was a low point in its already disappointing standards, I found out its 3 inches short of being able to carry an 8x4 sheet, I mean what the absolute fuck?? Who designs a van that can carry 7 foot 9 sheets??
Fucking hate the thing.
Click to expand...
I take it that’s it’s a new shaped transit van? Fecken useless, what kind of idiot designs a van that you can’t fit an 8x4 sheet of ply or plasterboard upright, you can get a work around by two 4x2’s stood on edge and a sheet of 20mm plywood on top to form a false floor, all your sheets go in there, all the normal stuff you carry load on top of the false floor, if you want I can post a photo of my van 👍
 
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