We can all use a laugh

A young boy says to his father "Dad, our math teacher is asking to see you."
"What happened?" The father asks.

"Well, she asks me, 'how much is 7 * 9?' I answer '63' , then she asks, 'and 9 * 7?' so I asked 'what's the fucking difference?' "

"Indeed, what is the difference?" asks the father. ''Sure, I'll go.''

The next day, the boy comes home from school "Dad, have you gone by the school?" He asks.

"Not yet."

"Well when you do, come and see the gym teacher also."

"Why?" asks the father.

The boy explains, "Well we had a gym class today, and he asked me to raise my left arm, I did. Then my right arm, I also raised it. Then he asked me to lift my right leg, so I did. 'Now,' he says, 'lift your left leg,' so I asked 'What, am I suppose to stand on my cock!?'"

"Exactly," says the father. "Alright, I'll come."

The next day, the boy asks his father "Did you go to the school?"

"No, not yet."

"Don't bother, I got expelled."

Surprised, the father asks "Why did you get expelled?"

"Well, they summoned me to the principal's office, and sitting there were the math teacher, the gym teacher, and the art teacher."

"The fuck was the art teacher doing there!?" asks the father.

"That's what I said" replied the boy.
 
The wife and I decided to celebrate 25 years of marriage by going to the exact same hotel in the exact same room we spent our wedding night in.
She came wandering out of the bathroom stark naked and said…” remember I did this 25 years ago..do you remember what you were thinking?”.
Aye says me..” I was thinking I was gonna suck those big tits dry and fuck yer brains out”.
“ What you thinking now?”. she asks.
“Im thinking av done a helluva job” says me…
 
Former Rangers chairman Dave King says Steven Gerrard has been backed by the board in the transfer market, despite the manager's claim the club "haven't spent a penny" in the last two windows........................This is what we want tae hear..... ;)
 
The horse/batman pic reminded me of a mate of mine who worked with me
We used to start at 5:30 am and one foggy morning, he left his house and was driving down the hill towards the freeway, on his way to work
He related the story when he got in, and we were pissing ourselves laughing
Picture this:It's 5 am and very foggy, you're still half asleep and can't wait to get your first coffee when you get to work...
Suddenly, out of the looming fog, a white floating apparition, comes across the road right in front of you, and as you do a brake stand, scared shitless...it floats off into the fog and out of sight
He had to pull over to try and get his heart rate down, then shaking he drives on

Apparently, they were building a huge condo development right where this occurred (think of the movie Poltergeist...where they built a huge development over the site of First nations burial grounds, without removing the bodies)

They had constructed a large fountain at the front, and some neighbourhood kids had thrown a box of laundry detergent in there, it bubbled up, and a big piece of the bubbles, flew off into the early morning fog
This is what he'd seen when he was driving down the road, half asleep
 

Members online

No members online now.

Latest posts

Back
Top