We can all use a laugh

Jinky1962

Well-known member
Thiers this man who has a hump on his back and he's coming home from the pub pretty drunk he takes the short cut through the grave yard it being midnight he's a bit nervous suddenly he falls into this empty grave he's face to face with the devil the poor man's absolutely terrified the devil says to him what's that on your back the man says it's a hump the devil says give me that and takes it of his back.the next day the very happy man with no hump meets his mate who has a false leg and tells him what had happened the night before he say go you down to the grave yard at midnight he might give you a new leg. So its midnight and he's walking through the grave yard and slips into the grave and the devil's standing thier the devil says what's that on your back he says nothing the devil says here's a hump for ye and sticks it on his back.
 

Michael D

Well-known member
Mick Hucknal of the band Simply Red got arrested recently. Police arrived after a neighbour's complaint. They found him lying out on the lawn engaging in a sexual act with a rabbit. At the same time was belting out 2 of his songs -
'Hauding back the ears'
followed by
'Bunny's too tight to mention'
 

boab1916

Well-known member
I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.
The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.
A few moments later, a second text came in:
Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".
 

tictastic

Well-known member
Little johnny wakes up one night hearing noises from his parents bedroom
He opens the door to his parents room and sees mom, handcuffed to the bed's headboard, dad ramming her from behind. Johnny screams. Dad turns to looks at him, laughs and gives mom a slap on the bum for good measure. Johnny runs away, screaming. Once dad has finished mom off, he uncuffs her. She immediately says, 'You better go tell Johnny everything is OK, the shit he just saw could scar him for life". Dad rolls his eyes and begrudgingly agrees. Pulls on his robe and heads for Johnny's room only to find it's empty. He then heads for the TV room but when he passes the guest room, he notices the door is ajar, noises coming from inside. He opens the door to look in and sees Granny on her hands and knees, little Johnny fucking her from behind. Dad screams.
Johnny turns around looks at him and says "Yeah, not so funny when it's your mom huh?"
 
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