We can all use a laugh

This is a true story.
Years ago I worked with a lad, he was in his late thirties and still livin at home with his mother.
He came home from the pub late one Saturday night completely locked, so he decided he was gonna tackle the steak in the fridge that was for Sunday dinner.
He put on the pan and starts frying the steak when he noticed a bowl with about half a dozen small onions in it. He chops the onions and fucks them onto the pans to soak up the lovely steak juice. He then eats the steak and onions and heads for bed.
He wakes the next mornin dyin and suddenly gets the urge for the bog. For the next half hour or so he's pissing out his arse. He shites his fuckin brains out until he could take no more.
Eventually he makes his way down stairs to be treated by the mother. "How was your night son "? Blah blah blah. "Alright" says he. "That's good" says she. "Oh and now that I think of it son. You didn't see my bowl of daffodil bulbs, I was gonna plant them today".
 

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