We can all use a laugh

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The night of March 31st and as little Billy the hun gets tucked up in bed his stepmum says "If you pray really hard tonight, tomorrow when you wake up you will be a a good Tim just like me!". So little Billy prays like never before. Morning comes and Billy is still a hun "Mummy" he cries out "I prayed so hard last night but i'm still a horrible Hun! His stepmum gently pats him on the head "I know son," she said "April Fool ya wee Orange bastard"
 
A burglar broke into a house one night
While he was searching through the stuff he heard a small voice "Jesus is watching you."
He was startled, but nobody came, and all went quiet again after a few minutes, so he carried on
As he continued packing items into his bag, about 5 minutes later, he heard the voice again
"Jesus is watching you"
He turned his flashlight in the direction of the voice, and saw a parrot sitting in his cage
He said to the parrot "What is your name?"
The parrot replied "Moses"
The robber said "What kind of a fucking idiot, would call their parrot Moses?"
The parrot looked up, and said "The same kind of fucking idiot, who would name their rottweiler Jesus"
 

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