We can all use a laugh

[Marky1956]

This guy is hilarious...also...Delicious... ;-)

I've just finished mine ,it's a wee bit filling so I'll have my pudding in about half an hour.

 

[Richybhoy]

I tried to post the video o Sacha Baron Cohen and his gay Austrian Character, Bruno, when Bruno adopts an African American baby. It was age restricted though. Go on You Tube and watch it. It’s too funny.

 

[DILLIGAF]

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=1092162082893962

 

[Espiritosanto]

 

[DILLIGAF]

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her Father cursed her heavily.
'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother through?'
The girl, crying, replied, Dad... I became a prostitute.'
'Ye what!? Get out a here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'
'OK, Dad... as ye wish. I only came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion, plus a 5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club ... (takes a breath) ... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.'
'What was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.
Girl, crying again, 'A prostitute, Daddy!.'
'Oh! My Goodness! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant! Come here and give yer old Dad a hug !!!

 

[The Shamrock]

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her Father cursed her heavily.
'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother through?'
The girl, crying, replied, Dad... I became a prostitute.'
'Ye what!? Get out a here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'
'OK, Dad... as ye wish. I only came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion, plus a 5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club ... (takes a breath) ... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.'
'What was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.
Girl, crying again, 'A prostitute, Daddy!.'
'Oh! My Goodness! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant! Come here and give yer old Dad a hug !!!

Pmsl

 

[Espiritosanto]

Don’t know wether to laugh,or gag…..so jist laughed

 

[DILLIGAF]

Too many peole giving advice, but always listen to those that know you best

 

[Richybhoy]

Was at the Doctors today for a wee check up. He asked if I had any problem with bowel movements and were they regular.
I said to him, I get a shite, regular as clockwork, every morning at 6 o clock.
The Doctor said, Well that’s very good. I said, no it isna I dinna wake up till 7!

 

[Marky1956]

Was at the Doctors today for a wee check up. He asked if I had any problem with bowel movements and were they regular.
I said to him, I get a shite, regular as clockwork, every morning at 6 o clock.
The Doctor said, Well that’s very good. I said, no it isna I dinna wake up till 7!

Don't know why ? But these symptoms sound awfully familiar.

 

[Espiritosanto]

Don't know why ? But these symptoms sound awfully familiar.

shititis common problem….

 

[Espiritosanto]

shititis common problem….

Not to be confused with the more severe affliction noabletoshititis…which can strain muscles!!.,!!!prune juice then a cup a warm tea…..bombs away

 

[Marky1956]

Not to be confused with the more severe affliction noabletoshititis…which can strain muscles!!.,!!!prune juice then a cup a warm tea…..bombs away

Being a mathematician i work it out with a pencil .

 

[Espiritosanto]

Being a mathematician i work it out with a pencil .

Err…where exactly does this pencil go!!!

 

[DILLIGAF]

 

[DILLIGAF]

Remember when you left school and you'd go to an interview with your best suit and tie on to make an impression ?
I worked with a Scottish guy here, who told me he applied for a job with the local municipality (council)
He showed up in his suit and tie, best clobber, and he got the job
He started right away, that day...as a bin man
Imagine seeing him, as he rocks up to grab your bins, in a fucking suit
PRICELESS

 

[DILLIGAF]

Saltcoats in the 60's
I think it's the Glasgow Fair
Check out the guys in their suits, and the women in their peenies
A different time for sure

 

[50 Shades of Green]

Spent many a glesga fair doon there in the 60's .....wulks for bfast lunch and tea...pick yir ain

 

[TartanTim]

 

[DILLIGAF]