We can all use a laugh

Tough crowd...

Englishman, Frenchman and a Scotsman getting pished talking about how they drive their women wild.
Englishman says, he buys her flowers, whispers in her ear how much he loves her, drives her wild and then they go to bed and gently make love.
Frenchman says, he cooks her a beautiful meal, treats her like a princess, drives her mad and then they go to bed and passionately make love.
Scotsman has another drink and thinks about the subject, after I've fucked her I get out of bed and clean my cock on the curtains and she goes fucking mental!
 
Pat and Mick were starting a new job out on the rigs and their new gaffer had told them to bring along a game or something to amuse everyone with in the worker's downtime. When they landed the gaffer asked Mick what he brought and Mick showed him the net and table tennis bats as he thought the men would like to play. The gaffer then asked Pat what he'd brought and Pat pulled out a box of Tampax. The gaffer asked Pat wtf could they do with them and Pat told him that on the box it said they could swim, play badminton and carry on with any sport they wanted to play with Tampax.
 

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