We can all use a laugh

This rooster wakes up early Easter Sunday morning. He sticks his head out of the chicken coop, and sees all these multicolored eggs all over the barnyard. He takes a look at the eggs, takes a look at the hens, takes another look at the eggs, takes one more look at the hens, he thinks about it for a minute, then he walks across the barnyard and kicks the shit out of the peacock.
 
Looks like the speculation is over.
Press conference scheduled for 11am tomorrow at Celtic Park.
its believed that the new Manager,Hungarian Pulin Maleg,will be officially unveiled to the Media. Maleg will be joined at Celtic by his long time assistant,former Bulgarian international Uri Havnalaf
 
A school teacher in Glasgow asked her class,
”what football team do you all support? Raise your hands if it’s Rangers “.
The whole class raise their hands except for one child.
”Jonny,what team do you support?.”
The boy replied,”The mighty Aberdeen Miss”.
The teacher asks “Why?” jonny says “Because my Mam and Dad are from there and they support them and so do I”.
”Well you don’t have to copy them, what if your Mam was a prostitute and your Dad was a junkie?”.
Jonny replies,” Then I’d support Rangers like the rest of you dirty bast..ds
 
Post your laughs here
HH
Family of polar bears, mum dad and the wean, out on the ice.
The wean days "Da am a really a polar bear ??"
Daddy best days " of course you are, just look at ye, the spitting image of the maw. Big teeth 'n' claws, loads white fur and you just love that deal meat. No doubt about it you are a polar bear my boy. "
Unconvinced baby wanders over to his mother and asks the same question.
"Whit???" replies his mother " of course your a polar bear!! look at you!! Your the spitting image of your father. Big teeth, big claws and you just love that seal meat. Your a polar bear allright.
Still no sure he heads back towards his father.
"Ho Da!!"
" Whit noo boy ?? "
" Are you REALLY REALLY sure am a polar bear ???? "
" Of course am sure. Whits the matter ? "
"Am Fuckin FREEZIN ".
 
Sorry getting more and more confused understanding football commentators can someone please explain
whats a false. 9 does he lie all the time or a spy for sevco
the number 10 does he live at Downing Street
number 9 they seem to miss all the time
where,s the hole ( don’t answer that)
defence attack. Thought Tommy Gemmel was the original?

anyone for netball
 
Sorry getting more and more confused understanding football commentators can someone please explain
whats a false. 9 does he lie all the time or a spy for sevco
the number 10 does he live at Downing Street
number 9 they seem to miss all the time
where,s the hole ( don’t answer that)
defence attack. Thought Tommy Gemmel was the original?

anyone for netball
A false number 2 is when you think yer gaunny fart but ......😂😂😂😂😂
 

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