We can all use a laugh

This came up in my notifications from 3 years ago
'My wife & I just had fun for half an hour, all kinds of stretchy, bendy moves, sweating, huffing and puffing...and now we're both soaked...ooer missus...no, not that...we gave Beau a bath'Bathtime drying off 2.jpg
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I was sat on the bus this morning,when I noticed the beautiful young woman sitting next to me was read a book entitled ’Strange But True Sexual Facts’.
“ Is it interesting”? I asked.
”Yes she replied,for instance,did you know that the North American Red Indian has the longest Penis in the world and the Irish man has the thickest “.
”Oh I am sorry “. She continued,”My name is Helen and what’s yours? She asked .
”Tonto O‘ Riley”, I replied.
That’s a belter 😂😂
 
A radio station had a competition for the listeners to give them a word that you can use in a sentence but the word is not in the dictionary

Radio DJ; let’s go to line 1, caller what’s your word

Caller 1; GHAN!

DJ; GHAN?? Can you spell it caller?

Caller1; G-H-A-N

DJ; ok it’s not-in the dictionary can you put it into a sentence?

Caller; GHAN FUCK YERSELF!!!!

DJ; WOW!!!! CUT HIM OFF!!! We can’t have that on a radio family show!
Ok let’s go back to the lines again.
Line 2 what’s your word and can you spell it?
Caller 2; Shmee! S-H-M-double E

DJ; ok we’ve checked and it’s not in the dictionary can you put it into a sentence?

Caller 2; ITS SCHMEE AGAIN, GHAN FUCK YERSELF!!!
 
Teacher asks class to put the word contagious into a sentence to show they know its meaning.
Wee Ann says “ the flu is contagious miss”
Lucy says “ a disease can be contagious miss”
Wee Johnny says “ the man next door got 10 ton o chips delivered and ma dad says it’ll take the cunt ages to move them”
 
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