We can all use a laugh

347408283_608294101247014_3506407689426579081_n.jpg
 
So I goes in the toon today....hate the fucking place.
made up of bookies which i avoid myself, poundshops and nail bars
Oh aye for new flooring for the living room.
I got it carpeted when i bought the place.....
day 1 the oldest walks into living room, trips over her fecking feet and the bowl of tomato soup meets new carpet..... 'oops im as clumsy as you daddy'....
from then till now it looks like it would inspire Tracey fucking emin or whatever her chops are

So after fucking about for a bit in the shop since there seemed to be delivery coming in, i'd narrowed it down to 2 choices..... this guy that looks like a fitter walks by, eyes me up then pipes up,
'here mate that stuffs all about £90 a square metre, the £9.99 laminates up the back and round the corner to the left' ....

if i didnae have my youngest with me, i'd have picked up a sample board and sampled its durability on the cheeky cunt

So i replies 'if they hide the cheap shite up the back and oot a sight, how the fuck did you manage to escape to here'.

Realising he's made a cunt of it, 'oh sorry mate i was just trying to do you a favour'

i pipes up 'i'll dae myself a favour by sticking with my choices, at that price it must be good quality and take some skill to fit.... so i know you'll not be anywhere near my fucking house'

That was that, he fucked off and a a cracking bit of stuff appeared and life carried on

I thought it was funny after i calmed down.... about 5 mins ago
 
Last edited:
So I goes in the toon today....hate the fucking place.
made up of bookies which i avoid myself, poundshops and nail bars
Oh aye for new flooring for the living room.
I got it carpeted when i bought the place.....
day 1 the oldest walks into living room, trips over her fecking feet and the bowl of tomato soup meets new carpet..... 'oops im as clumsy as you daddy'....
from then till now it looks like it would inspire Tracey fucking emin or whatever her chops are

So after fucking about for a bit in the shop since there seemed to be delivery coming in, i'd narrowed it down to 2 choices..... this guy that looks like a fitter walks by, eyes me up then pipes up,
'here mate that stuffs all about £90 a square metre, the £9.99 laminates up the back and round the corner to the left' ....

if i didnae have my youngest with me, i'd have picked up a sample board and sampled its durability on the cheeky cunt

So i replies 'if they hide the cheap shite up the back and oot a sight, how the fuck did you manage to escape to here'.

Realising he's made a cunt of it, 'oh sorry mate i was just trying to do you a favour'

i pipes up 'i'll dae myself a favour by sticking with my choices, at that price it must be good quality and take some skill to fit.... so i know you'll not be anywhere near my fucking house'

That was that, he fucked off and a a cracking bit of stuff appeared and life carried on

I thought it was funny after i calmed down.... about 5 mins ago
Never mind the good looking burd (are you sure it wis Greenock ?) the guy was doing you a favour
90 quid, or 9.99 sounds like a no brainer
Carpet went oot wi' Nelson's eye
A mate of mine was a carpet fitter, and was called out to a manse by the miister, wanted new carpet installed throughout
The minister said "We're thinking of RED..."
My mate (who's a prod by the way) pipes up "Aye that'll be for the human sacrifices eh ?"
The guy wasn't best pleased, but his teenage daughter thought it was funny AF
Good luck with 'laying' Smelly
ooer missus
 

Members online

Latest posts

Back
Top