Sandman
Well-known member
SANDMAN DEFINITIVE RATINGS - CELTIC v UTAH SAINTS
"Winter is coming. And my seat in the Jock Stein is f-f-f-freezin'."
John Snow.
"Well I'm never saying sorry
I'm not sorry
Shining like a diamond you know I'm so cold
Being bad never felt so good
I ain't never stopping for no one
23's on my feet, call me Jordyn"
Jordyn Jones, 'Bad Lil Mama'.
"There's yer fuckin' Ayrshire Burns Supper ya sleekit mingin' Hun beasties!"
Rabbie B.
BANE - 10 touches/10
Lookout, huge CGI fight warning - the supervillain retains his spot and the battle commences as The Cat glares on from the bench in his pink avenger outfit.
With little to do and the temperature dropping Bane looked to the Empire Strikes Back to survive the cold - where
Han Solo, caught in a blizzard, guts a tauntaun and shoves Skywalker inside the carcass to save his life. Lacking such a fictional big beast, Bane dragged a fat Paisley burd out of the away support; there was enough room for the back four too...
LUSTIG - 7/10
Legendary crimefighting PC Mick Lustig returns - presumably to keep an eye on Bane for the League of Justice, or something... Also a bonus for the boo-bhoys who found a way to warm up by screeching like buggered pigs at the Swedish supertim.
No need for hysterics tho as he was stoical and assured, under no pressure and hardly put a foot wrong.
BENNY KOVIC - 8/10
Another luxury cruiser with great positional sense, strength and pace. Held it all together well.
Never let Kojak down, never lets us down.
AJER - 7/10
Finally, a centre-back who actually wants to play for Celtic. Comfortable and tough enough to handle any Paisley ragamuffin. Not a lot of defending to do.
IZZY - 7/10
Loves a wander, a thorn in their side first half as we built through the left, always showing for the pass and the run.
BROON - 8/10
Did he leave the pitch at full time on Saturday? Looked like he stayed on, stayed in game-mode; bustling magnificence throughout, shutting the doors, giving the platform for the creatives to launch from.
CALMAC - 7/10
Was a jingly-jangly metronome in the middle. Cuts about like a tweaker in search of a hit, the one meerkat in the pack that's sure he sees a lion in the bushes...
Calmac's drug of choice, of course, being the killer pass/combo to open them up. Thought he should've scored first-half but that's a bonus. Gradually revving up towards top string-pulling form.
FORREST - 6/10
The cold weather's affecting Jamesy's rhythm - been a while since the boaby was in flag-flying, flashing condition what with the chill, so he's a frustrated figure on the wing.
Touch slightly off, timing and stride just out, passes not coming off. Sit tight, wee man, it'll come back because class is permanent; ye'll be slapping them in the face with it again by February's end.
CHRISTIE - 7/10
Pure ragin' he was - like a Hun on a Wednesday in Ayrshire. Denied stonewaller, buffeted and tripped and no joy from Mason In Black Anderson - a certainty for future Ibrox postings as he applied the one-begrudged-Tim-penalty-a-game-and-NO-more rule to the Hoops.
Christie has added that toughness to his game during the summer that makes him a real proposition when his
timing's also in tune. Some great running to open them up. Good to see someone come off angry when subbed.
SINCLAIR - 8/10
Sonic's on song big-time again. Keen and dancing down the left, looks lethal. Got the balls for a penalty rematch, too, chose the same missed side as Saturday, but planked this one well.
It's with gritted teeth I write that I hope his return to form remains permanent because he heavily relies on a functioning midfield. Stating the obvious, I know, but he can't lift it on his own. As we saw at Mordor - no service, no Sincy.
BURKE - 8/10
Jersey-thief or worthy Hoopster? Or contractually-obliged to be played because we're now WBA's fluffers.... NO, Celtic HERO - double-bagger of the week! Who ever doubted him?
I did! And I still do! (@OBurke55 '55'?
) but if he's going to hog a jersey, then he can hog it as along as he likes if he's going to bang in a double every game he gets.
SUBS:
WEAH - 7/10
Big George's army were on tenterhooks as The Rapier Kid nearly scored a couple, then, to the dismay of nervous Liberians everywhere beautifully slid in another and the 21-tank salute blasted a few hundred flamingoes and vultures to death. Environemntal murder, but a short-term Celtic legend in the making.
And that's LIBERIAN - L.I.B.E.R.I.A.N - for wee John from Prestwick who couldn't understand me in the noisy pub on Saturday and remained confused as to why I was making a point about Timo's Pa being a 'librarian' president. I told him to tune into Celtic Noise and someone called 'Sandman' might explain it to him... Aye, John, he's president of the local fucking library.
HENDERSON - 7/10
Liam 'Baldrick' Henderson initiatied his cunning plan and pretended to be his imaginary brother. Quietly worked his way onto the bench and returned to the park tonight to make a decent fist of it, assisted the fourth with a perfectly-weighted pass.
BR - 7/10
Job done. But not as much shuffling or experimenting as I'd hoped. No appearance for Bitton or Mikey J, just the two subs used, formation still a back-four. Hopefully Saturday can be finished early in the same manner and our squad worked; these are the games that can set-up the big league finish. Win them early, sharpen up the fringe players, save the legs of the match-winners.
OVERALL - 9/10
One down. Next! Perfectly executed, perfectly professional. Mindset spot on. Clinical football with flair. Looking more like the footballing machine that tore up the SPL in 16/17.
We are Godzilla, they are Japan, keep it going.
"Winter is coming. And my seat in the Jock Stein is f-f-f-freezin'."
John Snow.
"Well I'm never saying sorry
I'm not sorry
Shining like a diamond you know I'm so cold
Being bad never felt so good
I ain't never stopping for no one
23's on my feet, call me Jordyn"
Jordyn Jones, 'Bad Lil Mama'.
"There's yer fuckin' Ayrshire Burns Supper ya sleekit mingin' Hun beasties!"
Rabbie B.
BANE - 10 touches/10
Lookout, huge CGI fight warning - the supervillain retains his spot and the battle commences as The Cat glares on from the bench in his pink avenger outfit.
With little to do and the temperature dropping Bane looked to the Empire Strikes Back to survive the cold - where
Han Solo, caught in a blizzard, guts a tauntaun and shoves Skywalker inside the carcass to save his life. Lacking such a fictional big beast, Bane dragged a fat Paisley burd out of the away support; there was enough room for the back four too...
LUSTIG - 7/10
Legendary crimefighting PC Mick Lustig returns - presumably to keep an eye on Bane for the League of Justice, or something... Also a bonus for the boo-bhoys who found a way to warm up by screeching like buggered pigs at the Swedish supertim.
No need for hysterics tho as he was stoical and assured, under no pressure and hardly put a foot wrong.
BENNY KOVIC - 8/10
Another luxury cruiser with great positional sense, strength and pace. Held it all together well.
Never let Kojak down, never lets us down.
AJER - 7/10
Finally, a centre-back who actually wants to play for Celtic. Comfortable and tough enough to handle any Paisley ragamuffin. Not a lot of defending to do.
IZZY - 7/10
Loves a wander, a thorn in their side first half as we built through the left, always showing for the pass and the run.
BROON - 8/10
Did he leave the pitch at full time on Saturday? Looked like he stayed on, stayed in game-mode; bustling magnificence throughout, shutting the doors, giving the platform for the creatives to launch from.
CALMAC - 7/10
Was a jingly-jangly metronome in the middle. Cuts about like a tweaker in search of a hit, the one meerkat in the pack that's sure he sees a lion in the bushes...
Calmac's drug of choice, of course, being the killer pass/combo to open them up. Thought he should've scored first-half but that's a bonus. Gradually revving up towards top string-pulling form.
FORREST - 6/10
The cold weather's affecting Jamesy's rhythm - been a while since the boaby was in flag-flying, flashing condition what with the chill, so he's a frustrated figure on the wing.
Touch slightly off, timing and stride just out, passes not coming off. Sit tight, wee man, it'll come back because class is permanent; ye'll be slapping them in the face with it again by February's end.
CHRISTIE - 7/10
Pure ragin' he was - like a Hun on a Wednesday in Ayrshire. Denied stonewaller, buffeted and tripped and no joy from Mason In Black Anderson - a certainty for future Ibrox postings as he applied the one-begrudged-Tim-penalty-a-game-and-NO-more rule to the Hoops.
Christie has added that toughness to his game during the summer that makes him a real proposition when his
timing's also in tune. Some great running to open them up. Good to see someone come off angry when subbed.
SINCLAIR - 8/10
Sonic's on song big-time again. Keen and dancing down the left, looks lethal. Got the balls for a penalty rematch, too, chose the same missed side as Saturday, but planked this one well.
It's with gritted teeth I write that I hope his return to form remains permanent because he heavily relies on a functioning midfield. Stating the obvious, I know, but he can't lift it on his own. As we saw at Mordor - no service, no Sincy.
BURKE - 8/10
Jersey-thief or worthy Hoopster? Or contractually-obliged to be played because we're now WBA's fluffers.... NO, Celtic HERO - double-bagger of the week! Who ever doubted him?
I did! And I still do! (@OBurke55 '55'?
) but if he's going to hog a jersey, then he can hog it as along as he likes if he's going to bang in a double every game he gets.SUBS:
WEAH - 7/10
Big George's army were on tenterhooks as The Rapier Kid nearly scored a couple, then, to the dismay of nervous Liberians everywhere beautifully slid in another and the 21-tank salute blasted a few hundred flamingoes and vultures to death. Environemntal murder, but a short-term Celtic legend in the making.
And that's LIBERIAN - L.I.B.E.R.I.A.N - for wee John from Prestwick who couldn't understand me in the noisy pub on Saturday and remained confused as to why I was making a point about Timo's Pa being a 'librarian' president. I told him to tune into Celtic Noise and someone called 'Sandman' might explain it to him... Aye, John, he's president of the local fucking library.
HENDERSON - 7/10
Liam 'Baldrick' Henderson initiatied his cunning plan and pretended to be his imaginary brother. Quietly worked his way onto the bench and returned to the park tonight to make a decent fist of it, assisted the fourth with a perfectly-weighted pass.
BR - 7/10
Job done. But not as much shuffling or experimenting as I'd hoped. No appearance for Bitton or Mikey J, just the two subs used, formation still a back-four. Hopefully Saturday can be finished early in the same manner and our squad worked; these are the games that can set-up the big league finish. Win them early, sharpen up the fringe players, save the legs of the match-winners.
OVERALL - 9/10
One down. Next! Perfectly executed, perfectly professional. Mindset spot on. Clinical football with flair. Looking more like the footballing machine that tore up the SPL in 16/17.
We are Godzilla, they are Japan, keep it going.
