A Christmas Tale

Spherical Planet said:
T'was the night before Christmas and all through the Noise, the only sound around was Artur playing with toys.

Artur was growing restless and was too excited to sleep, so he slipped into his love island onesie and decided to go outside to see if he could see Santa coming.

Once he got outside, he immediately saw a great glowing green light in the sky........it was The Celtic Star and Artur decided to follow it's light to see where it shone.

He walked for miles in the cold before happening upon a strange man kneeling on the murky street with a spirit level:

"Whit ye daein, wee man?" asked Artur

- "I'm little gonky, on the dusty road" replied the stranger "I'm just using this masonic device to see if the earth is truly flat"

Artur looked at him like the daftie that he was and continued on his merry way following the green glowing star. As he was leaving he heard the little gonky saying something like: "that's not a star, it's just a big flashlight in the sky, just like Peter's disco lights at Parkhead"

Artur scarpered speedily away, he realised that that kind of shite was infectious and didn't want to take the chance that he would catch Thai Timitis.

Shortly after, Artur bumped into three wise looking men carrying what appeared to be gifts.

"Awrite fellas, whaur yiz goin' wie the prezzies?" Artur asked.

The oldest one answered: "tonight the son of Rod is born and we are here to pay homage and bestow the finest gifts upon him"

"Can I come tae?" asked Artur

"aye, sure ye kin, but don't be talkin' shite aboot love island or yir gettin punted" replied the youngest of the three men.

The four travellers continued on their way and shortly after, they had to make the perilous journey past the midden. The Celtic Star was now shining brightly on the birthplace of the son of Rod and it shone it's glow on a wee shed just at the back of the onion bar.

As the four warily ventured past, the grunting and squealing reminded them of the movie Deliverance. They also heard how the Virgin Shammy had been denied entry and had been forced to take shelter in an old shed at the back. As the four approached, they heard singing coming from some strange folk dressed in red: "away at the rangers, a chib in their head. Got pumped fae the Celtic by a goal fae French Ed".

Artur and the three wise looking men slowly advanced before realising it was just sheep who missed their bus back north the previous Saturday.

It was then that they noticed a beautiful figure enhanced by the glow of the Celtic Star. Here lay the Virgin Shammy holding a beautiful baby boy.

The three wise men approached the Virgin and child and the first stepped forward.

"I am Boab from the East-End and I bring a Pink Floyd box set for the child"

The second stepped forward and said: "I am Stevie from the East-End and I bring the child a boax"

The third approached and stated: "I am Mick Duffy fae parts unknown, I did bring the child a six-pack of Stella, but it would be wasted on the bairn when I could use it just to get wasted......I bought a spare boax though, in case Stevie's breaks down, don't worry aboot me - I've got another four in my palace"

Artur stepped forward and the room fell silent as he whispered: "i'm a little jiner boy and I have no gift to bring; however I did find this stupit lookin' big drum beside the onion bar, can I play it for the baby?"

The Virgin Shammy looked up at Artur and said: "hey listen pal, you bang that drum and I'll bang your heid aff that wa'.......I've just got the we'an settled and you'll start they bams up wie their flutes and toots if you bang that bastard o' a drum"

So ends this winter tale and may you all have a Merry Merry Christmas.
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None of ma business I know,but, I was wonderin who is Baby Shammy's daddy?
Was it you SP ?? If not who was it. No the guy so the Stella surely ??
 
Bridie Bhoy said:
When I studied at Dundee Uni I spent a year staying at 197 above some dodgy pub near those flats. It was mental there. My dad used to be manager of the Co-op supoermarkt under the multis there too. I never met any football superstars up there though! šŸ˜
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I got robbed in Carnegie Court when I was collecting milk money on a Friday in 1979. I went to a nice ladies hoose told her what happened n she phoned the polis.
As soon as I got to Bell Street the polis slapped fuck oot o me and tried to convince me it was my mates. Then this happened the following week.
There was 3 of us on the flat bed lorry plus driver ( the bosses son). The middle o the hulltoon multis was the only time the driver got oot. He would do Jamaica tower cos it had the least to get delivered. As I was coming oot Carnegie Tower I heard smashing glass ( not unusual on the milk). I got oot the multi just as the driver was hitting the ground. He died instantly. The butcher opening a shop across the road came over and covered him. When the polis came I had to identify him. Not a drop of blood though. Severe bruising though. We were sitting in a polis van when the boss showed up. He spoke to the polis then said, mon boys we got to get the rest of the milk delivered. Robbery and suicide. I was 15 and quit being a milk boy that week.
To conclude, fuck the hulltoon.
 
Richybhoy said:
I got robbed in Carnegie Court when I was collecting milk money on a Friday in 1979. I went to a nice ladies hoose told her what happened n she phoned the polis.
As soon as I got to Bell Street the polis slapped fuck oot o me and tried to convince me it was my mates. Then this happened the following week.
There was 3 of us on the flat bed lorry plus driver ( the bosses son). The middle o the hulltoon multis was the only time the driver got oot. He would do Jamaica tower cos it had the least to get delivered. As I was coming oot Carnegie Tower I heard smashing glass ( not unusual on the milk). I got oot the multi just as the driver was hitting the ground. He died instantly. The butcher opening a shop across the road came over and covered him. When the polis came I had to identify him. Not a drop of blood though. Severe bruising though. We were sitting in a polis van when the boss showed up. He spoke to the polis then said, mon boys we got to get the rest of the milk delivered. Robbery and suicide. I was 15 and quit being a milk boy that week.
To conclude, fuck the hulltoon.
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Feck i mind gettin robbed on the milk early 70s psycho came in the cab wi 2 smashed bottles ,robbed the driver and 2 helpers (hunfks) an me being the youngest got more clouts n thumps cos the other twats wouldn't hand over the money quicker

Wish some cnt would have thrown our driver he was a right bigot
 
Richybhoy said:
I got robbed in Carnegie Court when I was collecting milk money on a Friday in 1979. I went to a nice ladies hoose told her what happened n she phoned the polis.
As soon as I got to Bell Street the polis slapped fuck oot o me and tried to convince me it was my mates. Then this happened the following week.
There was 3 of us on the flat bed lorry plus driver ( the bosses son). The middle o the hulltoon multis was the only time the driver got oot. He would do Jamaica tower cos it had the least to get delivered. As I was coming oot Carnegie Tower I heard smashing glass ( not unusual on the milk). I got oot the multi just as the driver was hitting the ground. He died instantly. The butcher opening a shop across the road came over and covered him. When the polis came I had to identify him. Not a drop of blood though. Severe bruising though. We were sitting in a polis van when the boss showed up. He spoke to the polis then said, mon boys we got to get the rest of the milk delivered. Robbery and suicide. I was 15 and quit being a milk boy that week.
To conclude, fuck the hulltoon.
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When I worked wie the scaffies, we had to get crash helmets fae the concierge when we were picking up the bins fae they multis. There was 7 jumpers in one year fae the four multis wie three fatalities, Rich, they could have just kept the incident van there all year round.

There was also the fella that held his wife and bairn at gunpoint in Carnegie Square. The tactical unit were all lined up at Our Lady's and the "gravvie" when some wag fae the Nelson Bar/Mad Dog started singing "I shot the sherrif" on the karaoke.

Had the fuzz accuse me of the same when I delivered the lemonade, Rich........interrogated and battered at the Maryfield polis station........bastarts!
 
kelly said:
Feck i mind gettin robbed on the milk early 70s psycho came in the cab wi 2 smashed bottles ,robbed the driver and 2 helpers (hunfks) an me being the youngest got more clouts n thumps cos the other twats wouldn't hand over the money quicker

Wish some cnt would have thrown our driver he was a right bigot
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I handed the money over (Ā£30) without saying a word. I'm not getting stabbed for someone else's money.
 
Richybhoy said:
I handed the money over (Ā£30) without saying a word. I'm not getting stabbed for someone else's money.
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i had my back to him and one of those bomb proof dufflecoats you used to get in the 70s , heavier than a dunky jkt and less moveable
i was grabbed by the hood and shook more than that wee guy in east is east ,cash wise ihad shit tips a pound twenty if you were lucky , but it was ma pound twenty

The psycho still took though

still when i hear what your neck of the woods is like i wouldn't swap it
 
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