Asking for a friend 😁


Well-known member
There is this new fankled invention called a phone. Other people have them, including football clubs and if you ring the number allotted to them, someone will pick it up and say hello.

Here's how I would go about it.

After dialing the number I stand listening.

Hello Celtic Ticket office, can I help you?

Eh, em, fuck this works, sorry son, just didnt think these things worked.

Can I help you?

Its ma da son. Hes been waiting two years for a season book. Hes getting fair fed up like.

Yes there is high demand for them. Anyway how can I help you?

Well, hes doing my fucking head in, pardon the French son, but you've no idea what its like. Is there anyway you could tell me if he is anywhere near the front of the queue?

What's his name and address?

His name is Ma da, he lives at 67 ticketless way, near, Hoosefan, Raging. G45 7FU.

Let's have a look.

Thanks son. I'm at my waits end.

Ah, here he is, he is nearly at the top.

Oh my days!

No bother, is there anything else?

No, thats fine. How long you had these phone things that people can ask questions son?

Longer than you think.

Fuck me, who would have thought it? Thanks son. Have a great day.


Da da da da you might get wan. You might get wan!!

The phone, keeping people informed for over a century.
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