Sandman
Well-known member
SANDMAN DEFINITIVE BOXING DAY RATINGS: CELTIC V RED MENACE
"All I want for Christmas is Ewe."
The Pittodrie Sweetie Paper Rustlers.
"Lo, there came a miracle upon that silent night, and the next day Johnny Hayes played well and trumped all that virgin birth patter."
The Bible.
"Feeed the Hu-uns, let them know it's Christmas time,
Feeed the Hu-uns, do they know it's Christmas time at all?"
Hun Aid.
CRAIG CRUYFF - 6/10
Like a gazelle trying to kick off a bolas on the Argentine pampas, the big mhan treated us to a move more heart-stopping than xmas dinner at my in-laws, before being a chief culprit in the live-action rotoscope slo-mo reality experiment the rest of the team adopted around about the fifteenth minute, whereby we're so bored with dominating inferior opposition we contrive to merrily fuck around like a pished elf on Christmas morning, instead of slaughtering the Sheep like lambs.
Still, he took some dogs' abuse but I'll say it again to those who can read - the keeper's pass is one of the most difficult ; guy not used to having the ball at his feet needs to find a team-mate with the whole game in front of him; he RELIES on outfield players giving him options and space.
When you watch big Gordon struggling to play a pass the real culprits are the hooped jerseys up the park who should be making his choices clear and easy. Instead, bound by the ethic of playing out from the back, our keeper will struggle and take blame for something not totally his fault/remit.
IZZY - 4/10
NEVER a pen, NEVER. Do not believe the hype and bullshit puked up by the complicit SMSM - McGinn came down on top of him after getting the cross away. Watch the replays.
Utter sleekit contrivance by Gollum and his Hun-faced (yes, just look at that coupon in the replays, spitting bile at Izzy's protest) linesman; Pair of choice Christmas cunts.
It shook him up and he looked bewildered the rest of the half. Rightly hooked.
LUSTIG - 7/10
The bold Mick returned and stayed solid. Did quite a bit of talking during the game, mostly I think aimed at bringing Dedryck out of his trance.
How Mick managed to contain himself after the second penalty was awarded against him for being in the general vicinity of Captain Hobbit of the Diving Dons was testament to an experienced pro - could have easily been off for papping Gollum between his googly eyes.
BOY-OH-BOYATA - 5/10
Well, let's hope that Dedryck got his 'Dedryck' moments out of him before Mordor Saturday. Shambolic positioning and play at times - posted missing for many vital moments, looked unsure in challenges and general play.
A long shift for him. Longer shift watching him. Sharped up, big lhad, Hunskelping awaits.
BENNY KOVIC - 6/10
Everyone's favourite alcoholic, divorced, Croatian detective with the New York accent and baldy-heided lolly-sucking boss failed to solve the case of marking the big lumpy dons at set-pieces.
Criminally unfocused at their late third, he did however spend the rest of the game covering Dedryck. He's class, but still young enough to need prompting at times.
JAMESY FORREST - 3/10
Very tired with all the excitement of opening his presents from Santa, the Prestwick Flying Flasher had a sugar crash from scoffing all the sweeties in his stocking on the bus to Aberdeen.
Subsequently, we were treated to a wandering, dazed Jamesy, unsure why he could be so close to a beach on Boxing day and yet wasn't in Prestwick.
Was wrestled off, thankfully, by Broony just as a befuddled Jamesy was about to try the litmus test of getting his boaby out to see if he was in his home town right enough.
CALMAC - 6/10
Not the worst of a misfiring midfield, looked lively and interested but was let down by those around him. Increasingly found himself pushing forward to compensate for Rogic, when he would have been better sitting in beside Broon and playing quarterback.
BROON - 7/10
A leader. Always available, never intimidated despite the Sheep's best efforts. The fact that he was on the ball so much was a damning indictment of the poor form in front of him.
Lost count of the times he took the ball off our back line and waited for a creative to show; got frustrated and had to go back/side. No rotation ahead means Broon gets it in the neck for 'slowing it doon'. Not his fault.
ROGIC - 2/10
More scarecrow than Wizard of Oz. 'Thank fuck', BR mouthed as confirmation came he was on a plane after the match. Played although his head was already over there. Never at it. Huge disappointment to many, many thousands who had backed him at 16/1 to score from outside the box.
I want my stake back...
CONTINUED in PART 2 because the bloody board won't let me post a message over 10k characters.
"All I want for Christmas is Ewe."
The Pittodrie Sweetie Paper Rustlers.
"Lo, there came a miracle upon that silent night, and the next day Johnny Hayes played well and trumped all that virgin birth patter."
The Bible.
"Feeed the Hu-uns, let them know it's Christmas time,
Feeed the Hu-uns, do they know it's Christmas time at all?"
Hun Aid.
CRAIG CRUYFF - 6/10
Like a gazelle trying to kick off a bolas on the Argentine pampas, the big mhan treated us to a move more heart-stopping than xmas dinner at my in-laws, before being a chief culprit in the live-action rotoscope slo-mo reality experiment the rest of the team adopted around about the fifteenth minute, whereby we're so bored with dominating inferior opposition we contrive to merrily fuck around like a pished elf on Christmas morning, instead of slaughtering the Sheep like lambs.
Still, he took some dogs' abuse but I'll say it again to those who can read - the keeper's pass is one of the most difficult ; guy not used to having the ball at his feet needs to find a team-mate with the whole game in front of him; he RELIES on outfield players giving him options and space.
When you watch big Gordon struggling to play a pass the real culprits are the hooped jerseys up the park who should be making his choices clear and easy. Instead, bound by the ethic of playing out from the back, our keeper will struggle and take blame for something not totally his fault/remit.
IZZY - 4/10
NEVER a pen, NEVER. Do not believe the hype and bullshit puked up by the complicit SMSM - McGinn came down on top of him after getting the cross away. Watch the replays.
Utter sleekit contrivance by Gollum and his Hun-faced (yes, just look at that coupon in the replays, spitting bile at Izzy's protest) linesman; Pair of choice Christmas cunts.
It shook him up and he looked bewildered the rest of the half. Rightly hooked.
LUSTIG - 7/10
The bold Mick returned and stayed solid. Did quite a bit of talking during the game, mostly I think aimed at bringing Dedryck out of his trance.
How Mick managed to contain himself after the second penalty was awarded against him for being in the general vicinity of Captain Hobbit of the Diving Dons was testament to an experienced pro - could have easily been off for papping Gollum between his googly eyes.
BOY-OH-BOYATA - 5/10
Well, let's hope that Dedryck got his 'Dedryck' moments out of him before Mordor Saturday. Shambolic positioning and play at times - posted missing for many vital moments, looked unsure in challenges and general play.
A long shift for him. Longer shift watching him. Sharped up, big lhad, Hunskelping awaits.
BENNY KOVIC - 6/10
Everyone's favourite alcoholic, divorced, Croatian detective with the New York accent and baldy-heided lolly-sucking boss failed to solve the case of marking the big lumpy dons at set-pieces.
Criminally unfocused at their late third, he did however spend the rest of the game covering Dedryck. He's class, but still young enough to need prompting at times.
JAMESY FORREST - 3/10
Very tired with all the excitement of opening his presents from Santa, the Prestwick Flying Flasher had a sugar crash from scoffing all the sweeties in his stocking on the bus to Aberdeen.
Subsequently, we were treated to a wandering, dazed Jamesy, unsure why he could be so close to a beach on Boxing day and yet wasn't in Prestwick.
Was wrestled off, thankfully, by Broony just as a befuddled Jamesy was about to try the litmus test of getting his boaby out to see if he was in his home town right enough.
CALMAC - 6/10
Not the worst of a misfiring midfield, looked lively and interested but was let down by those around him. Increasingly found himself pushing forward to compensate for Rogic, when he would have been better sitting in beside Broon and playing quarterback.
BROON - 7/10
A leader. Always available, never intimidated despite the Sheep's best efforts. The fact that he was on the ball so much was a damning indictment of the poor form in front of him.
Lost count of the times he took the ball off our back line and waited for a creative to show; got frustrated and had to go back/side. No rotation ahead means Broon gets it in the neck for 'slowing it doon'. Not his fault.
ROGIC - 2/10
More scarecrow than Wizard of Oz. 'Thank fuck', BR mouthed as confirmation came he was on a plane after the match. Played although his head was already over there. Never at it. Huge disappointment to many, many thousands who had backed him at 16/1 to score from outside the box.
I want my stake back...
CONTINUED in PART 2 because the bloody board won't let me post a message over 10k characters.
