SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC @ HIBERNATION

Sandman

Well-known member
SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC @ HIBERNATION



"How dare you!"

Ryan Thunberg.



BANE - 6.5/10

'Fucking switch on!' he yelled at the side after Hibs' second.
Fucking yell that in the dressing room before we take the field,
next time.
Not a lot to do bar pick it out the net twice, neither of them
his fault nor privilege. Great effort to save the pen, only to be
let down by his defenders following up.
EDIT: missed out the pen save in original post.


PINGPONG - 5.5/10

Achieved a good balance of backtracking and attacking threat,
then vanished in a woeful second period that culminated
in him neglecting defensive responsibility for just a second
thus allowing a free header to set up that second goal.



LAXALTIVE - 7/10 MOTM

Drexl from True Romance saves the day. Well, a point.
Not only a pedigree defender but also a pretty good
all-round footballer...Thank goodness.
Left back pops up in right-winger position to lash
equaliser into roof of net like a striker...Thank fuck.



BITTON - 6/10

Mr.Cool. Saw off Scotland midweek, probably expected to
see off Hibs today. Mostly composed as ever, may have
been partly culpable for Hibs second after striker latched
onto forward ball that should not have transpired (see
Pingpong), but finishing was good.



AJER - 6.5/10

The bhoy who would be gone... Now becoming the Bhoy who
would be king. As he matures, so does his defensive presence.
Today a carbon copy (look that one up, kids...) of almost
every other stalwart viking display this season - solid,
reliable, driving on; captain material. Remarkably, also
a comment on what's possibly wrong behind the scenes - the
guy fingered as a want-away producing the most consistent
focussed displays.



BROON - 6/10

Tough and indefatigable; crunching his dominance early
with uncompromising ball-winning, set up a platform from
which our creatives should have prospered. They didn't.
And if you think that foul against Broon which somehow
in the muddled Hun mind of Madden became a penalty for
them was in any terms justified, then there's a quaint
common colloquialism you should employ - fuck off and
watch netball.



CALMAC - 6/10

A dynamo for Scotland, the question was if his energy
levels would afford a similar stint so soon after
travelling between a series of countries usually only
mentioned together in a James Bond movie.

He faded when we needed him most; no blame apportioned
though - without other, fresher players giving us a
cushion it was a tall ask for Calmac to construct the
win.


ROGIC - 4/10

Play Rogic, play well, is the mantra. But remember to
give him the ball ocassionally. Starved of decent linkage
through the first-half, we waited as long as his languid
gait for a sign...

Never got one as he joined Elshag at Anonymous Anonymous,
his magic touch absent as we pined for soemething special
to counter Madden's witchcraft.



CORPUS CHRISTIE - 6.5/10

Now officially the Saviour of Scotia too, and viral web
star after the most heartfelt emotional outburst in a
live interview since somebody triggered Greta Thunberg.

He has developed a set of dancing feet that would have
Sammy Davis Jr. purring but we're still getting deliveries
like Darcy Burchell part-timing it over Xmas for the royal
Mail.

Defied by that Israeli boxer in nets yet again, Corpus did
produce a creditable lively performance, though criminally
negligent with Pingpong for allowing the set-up header for
Hibs' second goal.



ELSHAGYONLASSIE - 3/10

The AA (Anonymous Anonymous) meeting better produce results;
If they've got a twelve-step program I can only see him
taking six steps before he shrugs and gives up.



THE YETI - 4/10

Moral - don't mouth off about your intentions until you've
smashed a few in to justify them. Looked promising when he
spun around and slashed a shot away early on, but after that
he was surprisingly swallowed up by Hibs rugged defence.




SUBS:


GRIFF - N/A

Another late sub. When we needed him ten minutes prior.


FRENCH EDDY - 6/10

Came on, did what he does best, gave us brief hope, shook them up.
Gloves are off now - we've got no wriggle room so I'm saying play
him and Griff/A.N.Other from the start EVERY game and give the TEN
all we've got.


ALAN LADD - N/A

Came on to try and assuage the shame of being out-jumped
and out-muscled by Hodor from Game Of Thrones at Wembley
last week; Didn't add to it, at least.


SAM JACKSON - N/A

Never realised he was on. Stealth Muthufucka.




LENNONY - 5.5/10

He's had two weeks to plan for this suspiciously tricky
away fixture randomly generated by the same 'computer' who
gives the Huns a day more rest and a home match. Hmm, and
apparently running the punishment algorithm that decrees
separate penalties for Covid rules infringement than everyone
else...

Still, let's not turn the focus away from Lennony's fortnight
of study into overturning the Hibees and returning serve to
Hal 9000's favorite malware on Sunday noon.

Trouble was, Jack Ross was doing his homework too, and we
faced a Hibs set-up designed to nullify and counter through
Boyle's pace.

Even though we struggled to apply a finish, the first 45 must
have been reassuring enough. However, once the ref played the
Joker, Lennony appeared to have nothing up his sleeve and was
- again -reluctant to change a system that was deflating fast.

It's about that time once more... No, not fucking Xmas - it's
big commitment time for Lennony: fanny around with interactive,
ineffective pet systems that produce bursts of neat, attractive
prettyness lacking ruthlessness that facilitates opposition
smash-and-grabs, or... Throw classic Celtic swashbuckling,
relentless, driving, face-melting attacking football at them
with TWO dedicated strikers and a savage desire to WIN it all.

That was rhetorical, by the way...


OVERALL - 6/10

Well, meh... Dominant as ever first-half, when it suited us.
All that semeed missing was final-third sharpness and a killer
ball. Surely that would come second-half as they tired and our
pressure took its toll?

No. Once more we reverted to that sinister loss of drive, zest,
and hunger which has debilitated many performances this season.
Crucial ones. Like today.

Now the wriggle-room has evaporated like the Hun hordes during
the second 9IAR - and of course since they spewed Covid in to
the world.

As WE all expected, Celtic are up against it, on and off the
pitch; we can only hope the players who think playing for Celtic
is a relaxing cruise realise they've booked up for a holiday in
hell if they don't get their collective fingers out sooner rather
than later and show us the winning mentality required to fill the
Hoops. Wake up!



EPILOGUE - BOBBY MADDEN

I wondered how long it would take this Hun ned to get with the program.
Well, we got to mid-November before his chronic masturbation over 90s
Rangers (RIP) DVDs manifested intself into the manic reality of Operation
Stop The TEN.

And today his cup of mutant jizz spilleth over. Deny the Tims justified
claims we've already seen dished out to his beloved this season, in
multiples, and award a pathetic non-penalty against them.
Then 'Balance' it out after the damage is done. They're not even trying
to hide it any more. His initiation into the Damien Dallas Goat-Pumping
MIB Cunt Club is complete.

Saddest thing is, we took it like pussies.
 
Last edited:

26+6=1

Well-known member
Has to be the earliest available Sandman ratings yet and so cruelly ironic that I've no desire to relive that game through Sandman's eyes. A dark day indeed.
 

Bigian65

Well-known member
SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC @ HIBERNATION



"How dare you!"

Ryan Thunberg.



BANE - 6/10

'Fucking switch on!' he yelled at the side after Hibs' second.
Fucking yell that in the dressing room before we take the field,
next time.
Not a lot to do bar pick it out the net twice, neither of them
his fault nor privilege.



PINGPONG - 5.5/10

Achieved a good balance of backtracking and attacking threat,
then vanished in a woeful second period that culminated
in him neglecting defensive responsibility for just a second
thus allowing a free header to set up that second goal.



LAXALTIVE - 7/10 MOTM

Drexl from True Romance saves the day. Well, a point.
Not only a pedigree defender but also a pretty good
all-round footballer...Thank goodness.
Left back pops up in right-winger position to lash
equaliser into roof of net like a striker...Thank fuck.



BITTON - 6/10

Mr.Cool. Saw off Scotland midweek, probably expected to
see off Hibs today. Mostly composed as ever, may have
been partly culpable for Hibs second after striker latched
onto forward ball that should not have transpired (see
Pingpong), but finishing was good.



AJER - 6.5/10

The bhoy who would be gone... Now becoming the Bhoy who
would be king. As he matures, so does his defensive presence.
Today a carbon copy (look that one up, kids...) of almost
every other stalwart viking display this season - solid,
reliable, driving on; captain material. Remarkably, also
a comment on what's possibly wrong behind the scenes - the
guy fingered as a want-away producing the most consistent
focussed displays.



BROON - 6/10

Tough and indefatigable; crunching his dominance early
with uncompromising ball-winning, set up a platform from
which our creatives should have prospered. They didn't.
And if you think that foul against Broon which somehow
in the muddled Hun mind of Madden became a penalty for
them was in any terms justified, then there's a quaint
common colloquialism you should employ - fuck off and
watch netball.



CALMAC - 6/10

A dynamo for Scotland, the question was if his energy
levels would afford a similar stint so soon after
travelling between a series of countries usually only
mentioned together in a James Bond movie.

He faded when we needed him most; no blame apportioned
though - without other, fresher players giving us a
cushion it was a tall ask for Calmac to construct the
win.


ROGIC - 4/10

Play Rogic, play well, is the mantra. But remember to
give him the ball ocassionally. Starved of decent linkage
through the first-half, we waited as long as his languid
gait for a sign...

Never got one as he joined Elshag at Anonymous Anonymous,
his magic touch absent as we pined for soemething special
to counter Madden's witchcraft.



CORPUS CHRISTIE - 6.5/10

Now officially the Saviour of Scotia too, and viral web
star after the most heartfelt emotional outburst in a
live interview since somebody triggered Greta Thunberg.

He has developed a set of dancing feet that would have
Sammy Davis Jr. purring but we're still getting deliveries
like Darcy Burchell part-timing it over Xmas for the royal
Mail.

Defied by that Israeli boxer in nets yet again, Corpus did
produce a creditable lively performance, though criminally
negligent with Pingpong for allowing the set-up header for
Hibs' second goal.



ELSHAGYONLASSIE - 3/10

The AA (Anonymous Anonymous) meeting better produce results;
If they've got a twelve-step program I can only see him
taking six steps before he shrugs and gives up.



THE YETI - 4/10

Moral - don't mouth off about your intentions until you've
smashed a few in to justify them. Looked promising when he
spun around and slashed a shot away early on, but after that
he was surprisingly swallowed up by Hibs rugged defence.




SUBS:


GRIFF - N/A

Another late sub. When we needed him ten minutes prior.


FRENCH EDDY - 6/10

Came on, did what he does best, gave us brief hope, shook them up.
Gloves are off now - we've got no wriggle room so I'm saying play
him and Griff/A.N.Other from the start EVERY game and give the TEN
all we've got.


ALAN LADD - N/A

Came on to try and assuage the shame of being out-jumped
and out-muscled by Hodor from Game Of Thrones at Wembley
last week; Didn't add to it, at least.


SAM JACKSON - N/A

Never realised he was on. Stealth Muthufucka.




LENNONY - 5.5/10

He's had two weeks to plan for this suspiciously tricky
away fixture randomly generated by the same 'computer' who
gives the Huns a day more rest and a home match. Hmm, and
apparently running the punishment algorithm that decrees
separate penalties for Covid rules infringement than everyone
else...

Still, let's not turn the focus away from Lennony's fortnight
of study into overturning the Hibees and returning serve to
Hal 9000's favorite malware on Sunday noon.

Trouble was, Jack Ross was doing his homework too, and we
faced a Hibs set-up designed to nullify and counter through
Boyle's pace.

Even though we struggled to apply a finish, the first 45 must
have been reassuring enough. However, once the ref played the
Joker, Lennony appeared to have nothing up his sleeve and was
- again -reluctant to change a system that was deflating fast.

It's about that time once more... No, not fucking Xmas - it's
big commitment time for Lennony: fanny around with interactive,
ineffective pet systems that produce bursts of neat, attractive
prettyness lacking ruthlessness that facilitates opposition
smash-and-grabs, or... Throw classic Celtic swashbuckling,
relentless, driving, face-melting attacking football at them
with TWO dedicated strikers and a savage desire to WIN it all.

That was rhetorical, by the way...


OVERALL - 6/10

Well, meh... Dominant as ever first-half, when it suited us.
All that semeed missing was final-third sharpness and a killer
ball. Surely that would come second-half as they tired and our
pressure took its toll?

No. Once more we reverted to that sinister loss of drive, zest,
and hunger which has debilitated many performances this season.
Crucial ones. Like today.

Now the wriggle-room has evaporated like the Hun hordes during
the second 9IAR - and of course since they spewed Covid in to
the world.

As WE all expected, Celtic are up against it, on and off the
pitch; we can only hope the players who think playing for Celtic
is a relaxing cruise realise they've booked up for a holiday in
hell if they don't get their collective fingers out sooner rather
than later and show us the winning mentality required to fill the
Hoops. Wake up!



EPILOGUE - BOBBY MADDEN

I wondered how long it would take this Hun ned to get with the program.
Well, we got to mid-November before his chronic masturbation over 90s
Rangers (RIP) DVDs manifested intself into the manic reality of Operation
Stop The TEN.

And today his cup of mutant jizz spilleth over. Deny the Tims justified
claims we've already seen dished out to his beloved this season, in
multiples, and award a pathetic non-penalty against them.
Then 'Balance' it out after the damage is done. They're not even trying
to hide it any more. His initiation into the Damien Dallas Goat-Pumping
MIB Cunt Club is complete.

Saddest thing is, we took it like pussies.
Played oot pish
 

Bigian65

Well-known member
Has to be the earliest available Sandman ratings yet and so cruelly ironic that I've no desire to relive that game through Sandman's eyes. A dark day indeed.
You aff the drink again ,hunners tae say about I nothin feel a wee history lesson comming oan
 

26+6=1

Well-known member
Probably never hud the need tae change ma name 馃槀馃檲馃槀history man
 

Niall J

Well-known member
Have to agree, I don't think its a pen. Brown running for the ball. Boyle looks right at him then shoulder barges right across the front of him. What's brown supposed to do?? They are both running at pace.
How about stop running, stand your ground, force the player to turn back, while he looks for support, rather than diving over the back of him like hun refs aren't looking to give penalties for the slightest infringement this season. Just a thought.
 

Niall J

Well-known member
SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC @ HIBERNATION



"How dare you!"

Ryan Thunberg.



BANE - 6/10

'Fucking switch on!' he yelled at the side after Hibs' second.
Fucking yell that in the dressing room before we take the field,
next time.
Not a lot to do bar pick it out the net twice, neither of them
his fault nor privilege.



PINGPONG - 5.5/10

Achieved a good balance of backtracking and attacking threat,
then vanished in a woeful second period that culminated
in him neglecting defensive responsibility for just a second
thus allowing a free header to set up that second goal.



LAXALTIVE - 7/10 MOTM

Drexl from True Romance saves the day. Well, a point.
Not only a pedigree defender but also a pretty good
all-round footballer...Thank goodness.
Left back pops up in right-winger position to lash
equaliser into roof of net like a striker...Thank fuck.



BITTON - 6/10

Mr.Cool. Saw off Scotland midweek, probably expected to
see off Hibs today. Mostly composed as ever, may have
been partly culpable for Hibs second after striker latched
onto forward ball that should not have transpired (see
Pingpong), but finishing was good.



AJER - 6.5/10

The bhoy who would be gone... Now becoming the Bhoy who
would be king. As he matures, so does his defensive presence.
Today a carbon copy (look that one up, kids...) of almost
every other stalwart viking display this season - solid,
reliable, driving on; captain material. Remarkably, also
a comment on what's possibly wrong behind the scenes - the
guy fingered as a want-away producing the most consistent
focussed displays.



BROON - 6/10

Tough and indefatigable; crunching his dominance early
with uncompromising ball-winning, set up a platform from
which our creatives should have prospered. They didn't.
And if you think that foul against Broon which somehow
in the muddled Hun mind of Madden became a penalty for
them was in any terms justified, then there's a quaint
common colloquialism you should employ - fuck off and
watch netball.



CALMAC - 6/10

A dynamo for Scotland, the question was if his energy
levels would afford a similar stint so soon after
travelling between a series of countries usually only
mentioned together in a James Bond movie.

He faded when we needed him most; no blame apportioned
though - without other, fresher players giving us a
cushion it was a tall ask for Calmac to construct the
win.


ROGIC - 4/10

Play Rogic, play well, is the mantra. But remember to
give him the ball ocassionally. Starved of decent linkage
through the first-half, we waited as long as his languid
gait for a sign...

Never got one as he joined Elshag at Anonymous Anonymous,
his magic touch absent as we pined for soemething special
to counter Madden's witchcraft.



CORPUS CHRISTIE - 6.5/10

Now officially the Saviour of Scotia too, and viral web
star after the most heartfelt emotional outburst in a
live interview since somebody triggered Greta Thunberg.

He has developed a set of dancing feet that would have
Sammy Davis Jr. purring but we're still getting deliveries
like Darcy Burchell part-timing it over Xmas for the royal
Mail.

Defied by that Israeli boxer in nets yet again, Corpus did
produce a creditable lively performance, though criminally
negligent with Pingpong for allowing the set-up header for
Hibs' second goal.



ELSHAGYONLASSIE - 3/10

The AA (Anonymous Anonymous) meeting better produce results;
If they've got a twelve-step program I can only see him
taking six steps before he shrugs and gives up.



THE YETI - 4/10

Moral - don't mouth off about your intentions until you've
smashed a few in to justify them. Looked promising when he
spun around and slashed a shot away early on, but after that
he was surprisingly swallowed up by Hibs rugged defence.




SUBS:


GRIFF - N/A

Another late sub. When we needed him ten minutes prior.


FRENCH EDDY - 6/10

Came on, did what he does best, gave us brief hope, shook them up.
Gloves are off now - we've got no wriggle room so I'm saying play
him and Griff/A.N.Other from the start EVERY game and give the TEN
all we've got.


ALAN LADD - N/A

Came on to try and assuage the shame of being out-jumped
and out-muscled by Hodor from Game Of Thrones at Wembley
last week; Didn't add to it, at least.


SAM JACKSON - N/A

Never realised he was on. Stealth Muthufucka.




LENNONY - 5.5/10

He's had two weeks to plan for this suspiciously tricky
away fixture randomly generated by the same 'computer' who
gives the Huns a day more rest and a home match. Hmm, and
apparently running the punishment algorithm that decrees
separate penalties for Covid rules infringement than everyone
else...

Still, let's not turn the focus away from Lennony's fortnight
of study into overturning the Hibees and returning serve to
Hal 9000's favorite malware on Sunday noon.

Trouble was, Jack Ross was doing his homework too, and we
faced a Hibs set-up designed to nullify and counter through
Boyle's pace.

Even though we struggled to apply a finish, the first 45 must
have been reassuring enough. However, once the ref played the
Joker, Lennony appeared to have nothing up his sleeve and was
- again -reluctant to change a system that was deflating fast.

It's about that time once more... No, not fucking Xmas - it's
big commitment time for Lennony: fanny around with interactive,
ineffective pet systems that produce bursts of neat, attractive
prettyness lacking ruthlessness that facilitates opposition
smash-and-grabs, or... Throw classic Celtic swashbuckling,
relentless, driving, face-melting attacking football at them
with TWO dedicated strikers and a savage desire to WIN it all.

That was rhetorical, by the way...


OVERALL - 6/10

Well, meh... Dominant as ever first-half, when it suited us.
All that semeed missing was final-third sharpness and a killer
ball. Surely that would come second-half as they tired and our
pressure took its toll?

No. Once more we reverted to that sinister loss of drive, zest,
and hunger which has debilitated many performances this season.
Crucial ones. Like today.

Now the wriggle-room has evaporated like the Hun hordes during
the second 9IAR - and of course since they spewed Covid in to
the world.

As WE all expected, Celtic are up against it, on and off the
pitch; we can only hope the players who think playing for Celtic
is a relaxing cruise realise they've booked up for a holiday in
hell if they don't get their collective fingers out sooner rather
than later and show us the winning mentality required to fill the
Hoops. Wake up!



EPILOGUE - BOBBY MADDEN

I wondered how long it would take this Hun ned to get with the program.
Well, we got to mid-November before his chronic masturbation over 90s
Rangers (RIP) DVDs manifested intself into the manic reality of Operation
Stop The TEN.

And today his cup of mutant jizz spilleth over. Deny the Tims justified
claims we've already seen dished out to his beloved this season, in
multiples, and award a pathetic non-penalty against them.
Then 'Balance' it out after the damage is done. They're not even trying
to hide it any more. His initiation into the Damien Dallas Goat-Pumping
MIB Cunt Club is complete.

Saddest thing is, we took it like pussies.
The AA (Anonymous Anonymous) meeting better produce results;
If they've got a twelve-step program I can only see him
taking six steps before he shrugs and gives up.

Love Moi, but i loved that too :ROFLMAO:
You are actually humping Broony though, right? and living in a world ( we'd all love to still reside in) where the last 5 year rule changes don't apply. can you get me a season ticket sandman? if not gonna catch up! We all have to live it. So do central defenders from the late 80's amateur scene!
 

Members online

Latest posts

Top