Statement from Celtic Board

Derry Bhoy

Derry Bhoy

Well-known member
We would like to apologise to our customers sorry (supporters) for totally ignoring you all for the last year.Just to bring you up to date negotations are going well with Eddie Howe and we hope to appoint him with in the next week.He will bring his own backroom staff with him and we will confirm a director of Football also within the next week.
Once Eddie takes up his role we will start moving players out who are not happy to be here, we already have had inquiries from some English premier clubs and we will be selling the majority of our squad. Oh by the way can you get your money ready we will be putting season books on sale very soon and we will need money to throw a big party for our leader Peter, but dont worry he is not going away you know, we would never survive without him. All us board members would miss our free Sunday lunch in the hospitality suite and our director fees , also we want to get Dermot a new set of golf clubs as they are very expensive in the Bahamas.
Dermot would like you all to know that if he cant get to Glasgow next season he will send his young fella over,as it is not very convenient leaving the heat at the Sandy Lane resort for a freezing Glasgow.
The Board Peter and Dermot love all you customers sorry (supporters) and we will be doing our best to sign Naymar/Harry Kane/ and John McGinn honest. we love you all honest.
As Always your ever open and truthful board members.
 
Board Statement :
P.S. A 10% levy will be added to all season tickets to erect a statue to Peter Lawwell . We have been inundated with requests from customers supporters to mark his departure appropriately .

We did a survey of customers supporters and asked if a statue was a fitting memorial to our beloved Pete - and the replies were unanimous - ''Aye , right ! '' they said .
So we have accepted this ringing endorsement and have already approached a suitable world famous artist to do preliminary work .

As Big Pete's erection will be considerable , we have decided to make room available at the front of the stadium by removing some of the lesser figures there - Bro. Walfrid , Jock Stein and that wee chap with the ball at his feet .
Hoping you all have a great summer and we look forward to seeing you all ( on Zoom ) next season when we hope to be in the final stages of our preliminary discussion on a short leet for the vacant manager's position .

HH
 
Wee Fergus's Bunnet said:
Board Statement :
P.S. A 10% levy will be added to all season tickets to erect a statue to Peter Lawwell . We have been inundated with requests from customers supporters to mark his departure appropriately .

We did a survey of customers supporters and asked if a statue was a fitting memorial to our beloved Pete - and the replies were unanimous - ''Aye , right ! '' they said .
So we have accepted this ringing endorsement and have already approached a suitable world famous artist to do preliminary work .

As Big Pete's erection will be considerable , we have decided to make room available at the front of the stadium by removing some of the lesser figures there - Bro. Walfrid , Jock Stein and that wee chap with the ball at his feet .
Hoping you all have a great summer and we look forward to seeing you all ( on Zoom ) next season when we hope to be in the final stages of our preliminary discussion on a short leet for the vacant manager's position .

HH
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Love it mate the only mistake you made, was to use the correct spelling and punctuation, our board doesn't think we know what punctuation is. HH
 
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