This deserves its own thread

When I started in the pits the wonderful cunts I worked with would send you for left handed tools buckets of steam pernickety pins. But ma Dad and Grunda (Alec) had told me what to look out for.
So when we were struggling one shift I was told to go and get a long stand at the main belt switch so off I went and I had a long stand. When the General manager asked me what the fuck I was doing I told him that the 2 Arseholes I was working with had sent me for a long stand and that was what I would do. He pished hisell laughing
He went in and told my Cuntleagues that they better get the job finished as they had been totally fucked over. They never tried that again.
There were 2 Men they were bouncers in Edinburgh if you pissed them off they would tie you to the pit Roof with you standing in a pile of Wooden straps and would play Kerplunk with you. Funny to see
Not to play. But on a night out if any cnut tried it on they 2 would sort it out pair of big soft cnuts
Fun days

HH 😂
 
Smelltheglove said:
Dubs life (@dubslife1) Tweeted: 😂 https://t.co/MDaDIgD8Gq
https://twitter.com/x/status/1420041044897542146

Any other tales of what you did to apprentices over the year
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Worked at the airport for decades
One day we had a young guy on our crew
He was a good kid, but he thought he was the coolest kid going, among the FNG's (Fucking New Guys) he was snart enough but needed to be taken down a peg, as he was annoying AF some days with his know it all attitude
You'd try and teach him something, he'd be looking around and not paying attention, then as you were speaking he'd cut you off with "Yeah, I know..."
So...
One morning as a widebody came in I gave him the wands to bring it into the gate
Gave him some 'pointers'
"Stand back and raise the wands over your head"
"If you want the aircraft to turn right, keep your left hand hand in the air but lower your right hand down showing him which way you need him to go, while waving the left hand wand over your head and to the right"
"Same thing for having him move left...only the reverse with the wands"
"Oh and if you want him to go right, lift your right leg, and if you need him to go to the left,
lift left leg...got it? "
"All good...great...now here's the plane coming...on ye go son !!"
There he was, out there, resplendent in his Hi-Viz vest, ear protection, wands over his head and standing on one leg, alternating as he needed to convey the direction he wanted the pilot o move his aircraft
We had let the boys know what we were going to do, so anybody who was a break was there to watch it unfold
The boys never let him forget it and he was much humble after that day's lesson

And the other thing was, buddy's name was Singh
From then on, he was known as Balance Singh

True story

There's a ton of them from that 'gig'
Who's up next ???
 
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Smelltheglove said:
Aye my dad has one, won't lend me it as its 'nae use to you'
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In the yards it was go to the stores for a long staun, or a tin of tartan paint
The welders were a riot with apprentices too
When they were showing the youngsters how to weld and some of them had 'tackets' on their boots, which went up over the back of the boots, another welder would sneak up behind them and weld their boots to the steel plates they were standing on
Seen many apprentices trudging up to the tool crib in their stocking feet for a sledgehammer
 
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JamSam67 said:
When I started in the pits the wonderful cunts I worked with would send you for left handed tools buckets of steam pernickety pins. But ma Dad and Grunda (Alec) had told me what to look out for.
So when we were struggling one shift I was told to go and get a long stand at the main belt switch so off I went and I had a long stand. When the General manager asked me what the fuck I was doing I told him that the 2 Arseholes I was working with had sent me for a long stand and that was what I would do. He pished hisell laughing
He went in and told my Cuntleagues that they better get the job finished as they had been totally fucked over. They never tried that again.
There were 2 Men they were bouncers in Edinburgh if you pissed them off they would tie you to the pit Roof with you standing in a pile of Wooden straps and would play Kerplunk with you. Funny to see
Not to play. But on a night out if any cnut tried it on they 2 would sort it out pair of big soft cnuts
Fun days

HH 😂
Click to expand...
Exactly JamSam
First thing my Dad told me
"If anybody sends you to go for something, ask who wants it"
Because they don't know if the gaffer is standing there when you ask for it, and they'll get in shit if they are fucking around instead of getting on with the job
 
sky hook
long staun
blinker fluid

blinker fluid was a good one me n the old cunt in the stores nearly came to blows 🤣

''there's nae such thing ''

aye there is i goes in car indicators

''ya thick knt ''

ya feckin twat

had to be seperated at one point ,spent the remainder of ma time staying out his road
 
I had to fill in for someone in a Tool Store that I hadn't worked in before (was only 15 at the time) and a man came in and asked me for 3lbs of brad nails. I thought he was taking the piss until I saw the scales. Duh! I didn't know they sold them by the pound in those days.

Someone also asked for feelers and by that time I was wtf.
 
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