We can all use a laugh

A guy manages to get a much sought after ticket for a derby game at Paradise and was delighted to find his seat was a cracker right down at the front. The seat next to him is empty and the guy asked the auld fella in the next seat along why it was empty for such a big occasion. The auld fella shakes his head and says it was his wife's seat and as she had died it would have to remain empty. The guy asked the auld fella if he didn't have any friends or relatives that would use the seat for the big match and the auld fella retorted 'not today son, they're all away to her funeral'.
 
"A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralysed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed."
 
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