Any builders on the Noise?

Bridie Bhoy

Well-known member
When I was a site agent with Barratt many moons ago we were all coerced (they promised us free drink) into going to a management seminar at Forrest Hills one weekend, about 15 of us and we'd all been through the mill together. First up we had to stand up like an arse and introduce ourselves to the team, even though we all knew each other, so we kept it brief, then this new tit stands up "my name's........and I'm here to teach you all how to build houses"!!!!
Fuck me he was popular, he lasted three months before going off sick with a nervous breakdown, lasted longer than I expected to be fair.
Is that how you first met Stevie??? 🤣
 

JamSam67

Well-known member
When I was a site agent with Barratt many moons ago we were all coerced (they promised us free drink) into going to a management seminar at Forrest Hills one weekend, about 15 of us and we'd all been through the mill together. First up we had to stand up like an arse and introduce ourselves to the team, even though we all knew each other, so we kept it brief, then this new tit stands up "my name's........and I'm here to teach you all how to build houses"!!!!
Fuck me he was popular, he lasted three months before going off sick with a nervous breakdown, lasted longer than I expected to be fair.
We had a store’s manager at The Clooncil had us all at a Friday briefing hewas a dick
He asked if we were paid Weekly
I answered very weekly
First time these briefings got a round of applause and whoops also my last invite even 14 years on I’m not sure why.
When auld sickie left we had a conga round the car park good times

HH 😂
 

Smelltheg-love

Well-known member
When I was a site agent with Barratt many moons ago we were all coerced (they promised us free drink) into going to a management seminar at Forrest Hills one weekend, about 15 of us and we'd all been through the mill together. First up we had to stand up like an arse and introduce ourselves to the team, even though we all knew each other, so we kept it brief, then this new tit stands up "my name's........and I'm here to teach you all how to build houses"!!!!
Fuck me he was popular, he lasted three months before going off sick with a nervous breakdown, lasted longer than I expected to be fair.
Probably went sick after seeing some of your workmanshit
 

DILLIGAF

Well-known member
I’m always weary of someone in the building industry that says they’re “the best” at anything….usually their NOT, I’ve been hitting in nails since 1984 professionally, but wouldn’t “claim” to be the best at anything, I’d let others decide that….but I would say I make a great cup of tea/coffee 🤣🤣
We had a kid that felt he was too good to lift a shovel
Destined for better things
One day as he was shoveling and doing one load to everybody's else's 3, one of the boys shouted "Haw teaspoon !!...Get with the fucking programme !!!"
That stuck and he eventually moved on to other opportunities
 

Hoopy427

Well-known member
The building industry gets a bad name but when you think most of the bright kids go to college or uni, we get the guys who thought fuck it I'm thick and can't be arsed so I'll join the army and see the world, then they fail the basic army aptitude test, spell dog squaddie! They get it wrong after 3 attempts so think fuck it I'll join the building industry it doesn't require such a stringent entry exam! And we accept any cunt! Happy days I end up trying to "manage" 140 loonies on a 30 acre site who's main objectives are to steal everything on site including the forklift, do drug deals or have a fight with that cunt that looked at me funny and Mr Barratt wonders how his houses aren't getting built on time!!
I had to interview for a site manager role at one point when I was a contracts manager, I read this tits CV and thought fuck it I need to meet this clown.
"So what makes you think you're suitable to manage a £120m contract and 100 to 200 tradesmen?"
"Well I've managed a shoe shop with 4 staff and I like diy"
That's a true story!
 

_Neil_

Well-known member
The building industry gets a bad name but when you think most of the bright kids go to college or uni, we get the guys who thought fuck it I'm thick and can't be arsed so I'll join the army and see the world, then they fail the basic army aptitude test, spell dog squaddie! They get it wrong after 3 attempts so think fuck it I'll join the building industry it doesn't require such a stringent entry exam! And we accept any cunt! Happy days I end up trying to "manage" 140 loonies on a 30 acre site who's main objectives are to steal everything on site including the forklift, do drug deals or have a fight with that cunt that looked at me funny and Mr Barratt wonders how his houses aren't getting built on time!!
I had to interview for a site manager role at one point when I was a contracts manager, I read this tits CV and thought fuck it I need to meet this clown.
"So what makes you think you're suitable to manage a £120m contract and 100 to 200 tradesmen?"
"Well I've managed a shoe shop with 4 staff and I like diy"
That's a true story!
Can't decide whether to love, laugh or wow that one.
 

Cairnsybhoy79

Well-known member
When I was a site agent with Barratt many moons ago we were all coerced (they promised us free drink) into going to a management seminar at Forrest Hills one weekend, about 15 of us and we'd all been through the mill together. First up we had to stand up like an arse and introduce ourselves to the team, even though we all knew each other, so we kept it brief, then this new tit stands up "my name's........and I'm here to teach you all how to build houses"!!!!
Fuck me he was popular, he lasted three months before going off sick with a nervous breakdown, lasted longer than I expected to be fair.
can imagine wit happened to that cheeky cunt 🤣
 

Smelltheg-love

Well-known member
The building industry gets a bad name but when you think most of the bright kids go to college or uni, we get the guys who thought fuck it I'm thick and can't be arsed so I'll join the army and see the world, then they fail the basic army aptitude test, spell dog squaddie! They get it wrong after 3 attempts so think fuck it I'll join the building industry it doesn't require such a stringent entry exam! And we accept any cunt! Happy days I end up trying to "manage" 140 loonies on a 30 acre site who's main objectives are to steal everything on site including the forklift, do drug deals or have a fight with that cunt that looked at me funny and Mr Barratt wonders how his houses aren't getting built on time!!
Where do I send my CV hoopy
 

Commo Estas 64

Well-known member
The building industry gets a bad name but when you think most of the bright kids go to college or uni, we get the guys who thought fuck it I'm thick and can't be arsed so I'll join the army and see the world, then they fail the basic army aptitude test, spell dog squaddie! They get it wrong after 3 attempts so think fuck it I'll join the building industry it doesn't require such a stringent entry exam! And we accept any cunt! Happy days I end up trying to "manage" 140 loonies on a 30 acre site who's main objectives are to steal everything on site including the forklift, do drug deals or have a fight with that cunt that looked at me funny and Mr Barratt wonders how his houses aren't getting built on time!!
I had to interview for a site manager role at one point when I was a contracts manager, I read this tits CV and thought fuck it I need to meet this clown.
"So what makes you think you're suitable to manage a £120m contract and 100 to 200 tradesmen?"
"Well I've managed a shoe shop with 4 staff and I like diy"
That's a true story!
dave king never looked back!
 

Members online

Latest posts

Top