Sandman
Well-known member
SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v RUSTIC GIMPY
"You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight
of the shore. So, Neil, play two up front."
- William Faulkner
HAZARD - 6/10
Sunday's superhero kid keeper. Little did he know the
penalty saves were the last touches of a ball he'd get
until he opens his Mitre Ultimax Pro Ball on Xmas morning.
Had his ability to stay awake severely tested but he passed.
AJER - 6/10
Sunday's superhero kid scorer. Back in central defence but
not victim of another calamatous Coonty cuffing. Made his
usual rampage as we dominated them second 45 and generally
appeared fit and ready for the festive period.
JULLIEN CLARY - 7/10
Looking relaxed. Well, he always does. But, also, more assured.
No panic stations, well-placed to read and win through balls
and, crucially, set-piece headers. His street cred is Hunskelping
level, and I hope he's tuning it up just in time.
DREXL - 5.5/10
Too agitated at times as his keenness overwhelmed his experience.
Maybe the grim watch from Sunday's bench unsettled him. Not quite
the roaming gangster we've seen but always there or thereabouts
as is his remit. Never hides, no matter the performance. I like
that sort of player. Ryan...
PINGPONG - 6.5/10
And we get the complete coming together of the pace, skill and
final ball we've hoped for as Pingpong pirouettes, hits the
by-line and swishes it to Eddie - Resurrected Eddie, not the
French one - for a crisp opener.
Almost replicated that 2nd half but reverted to type with a
poor cut. When he gets frustrated, we do too as he dinks inside
instead of jinking wide and taking on his man. I'd put his
Mum on the bench so she can echo childhood memories and get
through to him by screaming "Outside, Pingpong!"
EDDIE TURNBULL - 7/10
Sunday's promise becomes Wednesday's dig and craft and a welcome
placement to swipe in the first. Looks like he'll fit well if
that aged frame can contend with heavy pitches, thugs and a busy
schedule. Gives us a useful gyre in between the lines to play
through.
CORPUS CHRISTIE - 6/10
Playing for his place. In Newcastle/Everton/Crystal Palace/Nice's
first eleven. Let's hope they've already got a boy to take the
corners because Corpus' baffling inconsistency continues to ail
and spread Christmas woe at heightened moments of anticipation.
Matched that with his shooting and groans were rising, until....
a plucked RIGHT FOOT ball for Griff's header. Go figure, man,
as they say in 'Murca. Anyway, happy birthday Friday, Corpus.
MAN OF - 8/10 MOTM
The Black Panther Broon. He's for keeps, this bhoy. Sharp in
the tackle, sharp to cover and at times scintillatingly sharp
forward balls, capable of turning tides and switching momentum
right up.
His acid test will be in a fortnight. Tonight, certainly, he
showed he'll have the claws out and teeth bared and seek control
of the middle; it's what he does and what we absolutely need.
CALMAC - 7/10
Ahoy, skipper. The ubiquitous Calmac plays again. For all that
he's had a quiet season by his own lush standards, his reliability
is top notch. With a little more time and space and adventure about
him we got solid class and some telling balls.
GRIFF - 7/10
Get in there and warm up for the 2nd. But the heralded return of
the mythical twin Celtic strikers was a slow build. Xmas is tough
for Griff as he's got 500 presents to buy and 50 weans to allocate
them to.
Not only is that confusing but also absorbs all his beer money. It
took until after the interval to see the benefit of his added
presence and it paid off. Eventually.
Screwing two sitters for Griff usually involves coming home early,
alone, with the kids well asleep, but tonight it was on the pitch
and nobody was shelling out a score and taxi money.
Then, as we despaired...YAS, the perfectly-snapped header, reminiscent
of the Perth points-winner, and again another vital notch outwith his
bedpost.
FRENCH EDDY - 6.5/10
Le partener? Mon dieu. But this proved disconcerting for a time, as
Eddy calculated his chances of getting pregnant like 90% of Sparky's
other partners. It didn't help that he was attacked by the ref with
2nd in mind.
Once over that, into the second half you may - or may not - have
noticed an increase in his participation as more space opened up and
he was foiled by a great block to deny a third.
SUBS:
ROGIC - 6/10
"It's summer, Oz, so get out there and PLAY!"
You can only fool him for the few minutes it takes for his googlies
to freeze but we got a couple of moments of class to savour.
I'd have a heat-lamp on the Mordor bench then give him half an hour
in his flip-flops.
SAM JACKSON - 5.5/10
Muthufucka still hangin' muthufuckin' around. And he strolled on
for the last 20 wearing white spats. Kind of strolled around too,
making a pass or three, at least getting involved.
MIKEY J - 5.5/10
It's an 80s Christmas remix as Mikey's rehab continues.
Over-elaborated in on goal, looking for the "Wembley, beat three
men and head it in on the line on yer knees" finish.
THE YETI - N/A
Is he alright or is he shyte? No idea. Like folklore, he only
appeared briefly, with no solid evidence of his presence.
LENNONY - 7/10
Play twin spearheads, we asked, so he did. But there were little
in the way of service providers for a long time until flashes of
individual ingenuity and a second-half press brought chances and
rewards.
Now we must petition Lennony to persevere with the double-threat
in the same way Jordan (tits-Jordan, not Michael...) kept going
for enhancements and though not as pretty a set-up, certainly
became more potent.
Plenty of time to knock the ball about like Euro-wanks after your
lethal double-strikers (Jordan nod again...) have spanked in a few,
Neil; let's keep that as the mantra for the season.
OVERALL - 7/10
So not only did we take the Scottish Cup and Quadrofenian Treble
from Hampden, we also nicked their pitch too. Get it right roon ye,
SFA.
On a night when it was mostly stick, it required a subtle twist by
the wee hauns-free-table-tennis mhan to open up space and get us
off and running.
Fluidity looked a vague option on that surface but credit to the
Bhoys for managing an enlivening spell of shifting it quick early
2nd half which set the tone and the prison rules down and had
Coonty pinned and us looking comfortable but never totally
convincing.
Still, compared to what went down a few weeks ago, the fences will
be spared for Xmas and we can be encouraged by a Celtic side who
appear to have recovered some semblance of a winning mentality.
Now we might look forward to a festive passage of games with some
optimism rather than dread. Have a good one, you Tims!
Go Away For A Fine Xmas Now.
Sandman
"You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight
of the shore. So, Neil, play two up front."
- William Faulkner
HAZARD - 6/10
Sunday's superhero kid keeper. Little did he know the
penalty saves were the last touches of a ball he'd get
until he opens his Mitre Ultimax Pro Ball on Xmas morning.
Had his ability to stay awake severely tested but he passed.
AJER - 6/10
Sunday's superhero kid scorer. Back in central defence but
not victim of another calamatous Coonty cuffing. Made his
usual rampage as we dominated them second 45 and generally
appeared fit and ready for the festive period.
JULLIEN CLARY - 7/10
Looking relaxed. Well, he always does. But, also, more assured.
No panic stations, well-placed to read and win through balls
and, crucially, set-piece headers. His street cred is Hunskelping
level, and I hope he's tuning it up just in time.
DREXL - 5.5/10
Too agitated at times as his keenness overwhelmed his experience.
Maybe the grim watch from Sunday's bench unsettled him. Not quite
the roaming gangster we've seen but always there or thereabouts
as is his remit. Never hides, no matter the performance. I like
that sort of player. Ryan...
PINGPONG - 6.5/10
And we get the complete coming together of the pace, skill and
final ball we've hoped for as Pingpong pirouettes, hits the
by-line and swishes it to Eddie - Resurrected Eddie, not the
French one - for a crisp opener.
Almost replicated that 2nd half but reverted to type with a
poor cut. When he gets frustrated, we do too as he dinks inside
instead of jinking wide and taking on his man. I'd put his
Mum on the bench so she can echo childhood memories and get
through to him by screaming "Outside, Pingpong!"
EDDIE TURNBULL - 7/10
Sunday's promise becomes Wednesday's dig and craft and a welcome
placement to swipe in the first. Looks like he'll fit well if
that aged frame can contend with heavy pitches, thugs and a busy
schedule. Gives us a useful gyre in between the lines to play
through.
CORPUS CHRISTIE - 6/10
Playing for his place. In Newcastle/Everton/Crystal Palace/Nice's
first eleven. Let's hope they've already got a boy to take the
corners because Corpus' baffling inconsistency continues to ail
and spread Christmas woe at heightened moments of anticipation.
Matched that with his shooting and groans were rising, until....
a plucked RIGHT FOOT ball for Griff's header. Go figure, man,
as they say in 'Murca. Anyway, happy birthday Friday, Corpus.
MAN OF - 8/10 MOTM
The Black Panther Broon. He's for keeps, this bhoy. Sharp in
the tackle, sharp to cover and at times scintillatingly sharp
forward balls, capable of turning tides and switching momentum
right up.
His acid test will be in a fortnight. Tonight, certainly, he
showed he'll have the claws out and teeth bared and seek control
of the middle; it's what he does and what we absolutely need.
CALMAC - 7/10
Ahoy, skipper. The ubiquitous Calmac plays again. For all that
he's had a quiet season by his own lush standards, his reliability
is top notch. With a little more time and space and adventure about
him we got solid class and some telling balls.
GRIFF - 7/10
Get in there and warm up for the 2nd. But the heralded return of
the mythical twin Celtic strikers was a slow build. Xmas is tough
for Griff as he's got 500 presents to buy and 50 weans to allocate
them to.
Not only is that confusing but also absorbs all his beer money. It
took until after the interval to see the benefit of his added
presence and it paid off. Eventually.
Screwing two sitters for Griff usually involves coming home early,
alone, with the kids well asleep, but tonight it was on the pitch
and nobody was shelling out a score and taxi money.
Then, as we despaired...YAS, the perfectly-snapped header, reminiscent
of the Perth points-winner, and again another vital notch outwith his
bedpost.
FRENCH EDDY - 6.5/10
Le partener? Mon dieu. But this proved disconcerting for a time, as
Eddy calculated his chances of getting pregnant like 90% of Sparky's
other partners. It didn't help that he was attacked by the ref with
2nd in mind.
Once over that, into the second half you may - or may not - have
noticed an increase in his participation as more space opened up and
he was foiled by a great block to deny a third.
SUBS:
ROGIC - 6/10
"It's summer, Oz, so get out there and PLAY!"
You can only fool him for the few minutes it takes for his googlies
to freeze but we got a couple of moments of class to savour.
I'd have a heat-lamp on the Mordor bench then give him half an hour
in his flip-flops.
SAM JACKSON - 5.5/10
Muthufucka still hangin' muthufuckin' around. And he strolled on
for the last 20 wearing white spats. Kind of strolled around too,
making a pass or three, at least getting involved.
MIKEY J - 5.5/10
It's an 80s Christmas remix as Mikey's rehab continues.
Over-elaborated in on goal, looking for the "Wembley, beat three
men and head it in on the line on yer knees" finish.
THE YETI - N/A
Is he alright or is he shyte? No idea. Like folklore, he only
appeared briefly, with no solid evidence of his presence.
LENNONY - 7/10
Play twin spearheads, we asked, so he did. But there were little
in the way of service providers for a long time until flashes of
individual ingenuity and a second-half press brought chances and
rewards.
Now we must petition Lennony to persevere with the double-threat
in the same way Jordan (tits-Jordan, not Michael...) kept going
for enhancements and though not as pretty a set-up, certainly
became more potent.
Plenty of time to knock the ball about like Euro-wanks after your
lethal double-strikers (Jordan nod again...) have spanked in a few,
Neil; let's keep that as the mantra for the season.
OVERALL - 7/10
So not only did we take the Scottish Cup and Quadrofenian Treble
from Hampden, we also nicked their pitch too. Get it right roon ye,
SFA.
On a night when it was mostly stick, it required a subtle twist by
the wee hauns-free-table-tennis mhan to open up space and get us
off and running.
Fluidity looked a vague option on that surface but credit to the
Bhoys for managing an enlivening spell of shifting it quick early
2nd half which set the tone and the prison rules down and had
Coonty pinned and us looking comfortable but never totally
convincing.
Still, compared to what went down a few weeks ago, the fences will
be spared for Xmas and we can be encouraged by a Celtic side who
appear to have recovered some semblance of a winning mentality.
Now we might look forward to a festive passage of games with some
optimism rather than dread. Have a good one, you Tims!
Go Away For A Fine Xmas Now.
Sandman
Last edited:
nite all
