Sandman
Well-known member
SANDMAN'S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CHAMPIONS v SINNERS
"Blood, sweat, and respect. First two you give, last
one you earn."
- The Rock. (Yeah, unbelievably.)
ROXIE - 10/10
An emotional wreck. Couldn't focus on the game for
tear-blurred vision. Choking-up every time the ball
went near him.
And that was just my match experience. From the moment
he appeared on the screens, his weans in the tunnel
with him, to the walk-off like big Oz before him;
finished me.
After that I got to enjoy the game. For a couple of
minutes. Beforehand, nothing to do for Joe around
the unstoppable goals bar relish his final epic
moments in Paradise.
And when there's a fantastic GB tifo tribute dedicated
solely to you, then you know you made it all count in
the finest football arena on Earth.
GREGGS THE BAKER - 7/10
Looked far more assured and in-tune than during recent
struggles. Had plenty to do that suited his busy, busy
bee style and showed up well in every area of the park.
Deserved an acclaimed assit for a delightful floated
ball in to Reo, who unfortunately lifted his volley
over. Idiot...
TONY THE TIGER - 7.5/10
Levels. Tony has them. A stalwart in the shirt.
Nothing suits him more - or fires him up more - than
unarmed combat, as the Huns got a taste of last week.
He got plenty through the 90 today, gave and took it,
then showed there's class in them bits too with the
delivery of the season for the lunatic Honduran's
winner.
RAQUEL - 3/10
The nightmare - glorious chance spurned within minutes,
shops a pen/goal through miscalculated bluntness, then
aggravates his ongoing shoulder injury and departs in
misery. Dream trophy day disintegrates. Goddamn.
Get well soon, m'bhoy.
APOLLO CREED - 8/10 MOTM
15th minute (go check, pedants...) 0-1 down, sluggish.
Suddenly, in the space of a few moments, Rocky's stepped
in, stepped out, stepped it up - two-touch, sharp, direct
passing, stimulating the midfield, firing up the tempo
by a multitude of degrees, shaking us into focus, and
we're off...
Allied that vigor to some rugged defending against robust
mobile strikers. I'll say it again - he could be terrific
alongside CCV with an extended run to develop understanding.
CL terrific, to give us a puncher's chance in the Big Show.
(See what I did there fans of pugilistic movie franchises?)
CALMAC - 6.5/10
The Skipper's day. Playing within himself, just wanting
the 90 to go by so he could get his hands on the prize.
And didn't he and the big mhan lift it well? Now rest,
and prepare for one crowning skelping.
HAKUNA HATATE - 6.5/10
Getting there. Another step up the quality scale after
Wednesday's scrappy effort on a threadbare snooker table.
More product for his toil today, might have scored a goal
of the season if he'd controlled a volley better, but set
one up anyway with a precision ball from an overlapping
run, for Kyogo to end a sweeping counter.
THE BUILDER - 7/10
The league's most gifted kid defieds the bitter orange
bastard sports'writers' - hello fucking hack lurkers! -
with yet another impactful outing.
Once he'd slammed in his umpteenth goal of the season
- from MIDfield, note, Wankland media groupies - Matty
dropped into his groove and prepped a lunchtime footballing
salad for us featuring some peachy passes seasoned with
deft touches.
KILLER MUSHROOM - 6.5/10
In his heid. In his boots. Therein lay the title, and
what better way to emphasise that with a final killer
strike in his trademark style - zipping into the box
like a viper with bite to match.
One final step to slay the Lovecraftian monstrosities
next weekend and we can say the wee Japanese assassin
is our finest since the King Of Kings abdicated his
golden throne 20 years ago this week.
And I'm still not fucking over that yet. Right?!
*sniff* Leave me alone...
TAKINTE - 5/10
Lacking some confidence? There's a player in there,
demonstrated by creative clips and footwork, but we
need him to flourish. More promise than present, so
far...
BRIAN DE - 6.5/10
He's a bit mad mental and talks to God. "Just like
aw ma burds. Eventually..." said Jamesy.
But at least Louis finds inspiration in his entreaties
to the almighty. And the heavens certainly answered
his prayers today after a mercurial game of magic and
mystery.
The last Amen was his, nipping in at the last to sprinkle
top quality Central American ching over the the
communion wafers and kick the title party into gear.
SUBS -
DUNCAN IDAHO - N/A
Best 5 months of his life capped with a Champions medal.
May have won a pen if he had been smarter when the attempted
bumming from Bealdermort's wee cousin, Gogicbox, came in.
But, whatever, I'm sure all this beats Norwich reserves.
TONIO IWATAO - N/A
On. Smile. Sweat a bit. Get a medal. Arigato.
SAINT BERNARDO - N/A
The O'Reilly twin comes from Lisbon, so a sunny Glasgow
must have been confounding. Still, he managed to run
around like a happy-go-lucky dug for quarter of an hour.
BANE - N/A
Baney will be on the razz tonight again, toasting his clean
sheet; guaranteed.
OF JUSTICE - 6/10
Held it together well as the game teetered in the balance.
But... Playing a ginger Irishman with a hangover on a scorching
sun-kissed afternoon; disgraceful, Rodgers.
THE SHNAKE - 7.5/10
A redemption day in Paradise for the returned prodigal.
Got another win through sheer persistence to method -
much like this title.
Then had his moment on the mic, which he kept a reserved
cap on, and resisted a climactic, 'get it up ye!' to his doubters
and critics, of which there have been many more than any
Celtic manager this century has had to contend with.
Shame on you all...
MIBBERY - 3/10
They're almost forlorn at this stage, resigned to another
summer of anguish and weird sexual tension down the ludges
as the 'reparation rituals' take place.
Maybe there will be a final flourish next week, but today my
only worry was injuries, of which nothing crucial was facilitated
by the American High School movie nerd with the whistle.
OVERALL - 7.5/10
It's a beautiful thing, this Celtic. Another victory
dug out to hit 93 points, some fine-tuning for the
season's schadenfreude finale in a week, epic pathos
as the big goalie took his last - and premature imo -
Paradise bow.
Legends come and go and are born at this club. And the
heartfelt adoration leaves an indelible mark upon their
souls.
Just ask them - from the greatest to the pretty great,
from Henrik to Joe, the attachment they feel to the
support leaves them forever a fan, and us sobbing like
a Hun looking at a league table.
The game today etched the season upon the ninety -
struggles, setbacks, expectations. Flair, fault,
failure, then joy and emotion at the last.
Through it, faith, belief, hope and high drama,
villains, and ultimately heroes. Such a sweet outcome
to the main event.
The copious jhoy that flooded the stadium and
Trongate with Celtic souls and mass euphoria just
leaves as all wanting more.
Even Santa got in on the act, auditioning for Pope
with the finest blessing since Artur Boric exorcised
the Copeland Road end.
The big prize is gone, won by the good ghuys - the
CHAMPIONS - safe and sound in the trophy cabinet
it calls home.
What's left? A trinket with which to torment. I love
a good epilogue to a raucous story. Let's see if the
universe's scriptwriters possess a wicked sense of
humour next weekend. Schadenfreude Saturday's
coming to the big screen. Pass the popcorn.
Go Away Now
Sandman
"Blood, sweat, and respect. First two you give, last
one you earn."
- The Rock. (Yeah, unbelievably.)
ROXIE - 10/10
An emotional wreck. Couldn't focus on the game for
tear-blurred vision. Choking-up every time the ball
went near him.
And that was just my match experience. From the moment
he appeared on the screens, his weans in the tunnel
with him, to the walk-off like big Oz before him;
finished me.
After that I got to enjoy the game. For a couple of
minutes. Beforehand, nothing to do for Joe around
the unstoppable goals bar relish his final epic
moments in Paradise.
And when there's a fantastic GB tifo tribute dedicated
solely to you, then you know you made it all count in
the finest football arena on Earth.
GREGGS THE BAKER - 7/10
Looked far more assured and in-tune than during recent
struggles. Had plenty to do that suited his busy, busy
bee style and showed up well in every area of the park.
Deserved an acclaimed assit for a delightful floated
ball in to Reo, who unfortunately lifted his volley
over. Idiot...
TONY THE TIGER - 7.5/10
Levels. Tony has them. A stalwart in the shirt.
Nothing suits him more - or fires him up more - than
unarmed combat, as the Huns got a taste of last week.
He got plenty through the 90 today, gave and took it,
then showed there's class in them bits too with the
delivery of the season for the lunatic Honduran's
winner.
RAQUEL - 3/10
The nightmare - glorious chance spurned within minutes,
shops a pen/goal through miscalculated bluntness, then
aggravates his ongoing shoulder injury and departs in
misery. Dream trophy day disintegrates. Goddamn.
Get well soon, m'bhoy.
APOLLO CREED - 8/10 MOTM
15th minute (go check, pedants...) 0-1 down, sluggish.
Suddenly, in the space of a few moments, Rocky's stepped
in, stepped out, stepped it up - two-touch, sharp, direct
passing, stimulating the midfield, firing up the tempo
by a multitude of degrees, shaking us into focus, and
we're off...
Allied that vigor to some rugged defending against robust
mobile strikers. I'll say it again - he could be terrific
alongside CCV with an extended run to develop understanding.
CL terrific, to give us a puncher's chance in the Big Show.
(See what I did there fans of pugilistic movie franchises?)
CALMAC - 6.5/10
The Skipper's day. Playing within himself, just wanting
the 90 to go by so he could get his hands on the prize.
And didn't he and the big mhan lift it well? Now rest,
and prepare for one crowning skelping.
HAKUNA HATATE - 6.5/10
Getting there. Another step up the quality scale after
Wednesday's scrappy effort on a threadbare snooker table.
More product for his toil today, might have scored a goal
of the season if he'd controlled a volley better, but set
one up anyway with a precision ball from an overlapping
run, for Kyogo to end a sweeping counter.
THE BUILDER - 7/10
The league's most gifted kid defieds the bitter orange
bastard sports'writers' - hello fucking hack lurkers! -
with yet another impactful outing.
Once he'd slammed in his umpteenth goal of the season
- from MIDfield, note, Wankland media groupies - Matty
dropped into his groove and prepped a lunchtime footballing
salad for us featuring some peachy passes seasoned with
deft touches.
KILLER MUSHROOM - 6.5/10
In his heid. In his boots. Therein lay the title, and
what better way to emphasise that with a final killer
strike in his trademark style - zipping into the box
like a viper with bite to match.
One final step to slay the Lovecraftian monstrosities
next weekend and we can say the wee Japanese assassin
is our finest since the King Of Kings abdicated his
golden throne 20 years ago this week.
And I'm still not fucking over that yet. Right?!
*sniff* Leave me alone...
TAKINTE - 5/10
Lacking some confidence? There's a player in there,
demonstrated by creative clips and footwork, but we
need him to flourish. More promise than present, so
far...
BRIAN DE - 6.5/10
He's a bit mad mental and talks to God. "Just like
aw ma burds. Eventually..." said Jamesy.
But at least Louis finds inspiration in his entreaties
to the almighty. And the heavens certainly answered
his prayers today after a mercurial game of magic and
mystery.
The last Amen was his, nipping in at the last to sprinkle
top quality Central American ching over the the
communion wafers and kick the title party into gear.
SUBS -
DUNCAN IDAHO - N/A
Best 5 months of his life capped with a Champions medal.
May have won a pen if he had been smarter when the attempted
bumming from Bealdermort's wee cousin, Gogicbox, came in.
But, whatever, I'm sure all this beats Norwich reserves.
TONIO IWATAO - N/A
On. Smile. Sweat a bit. Get a medal. Arigato.
SAINT BERNARDO - N/A
The O'Reilly twin comes from Lisbon, so a sunny Glasgow
must have been confounding. Still, he managed to run
around like a happy-go-lucky dug for quarter of an hour.
BANE - N/A
Baney will be on the razz tonight again, toasting his clean
sheet; guaranteed.
OF JUSTICE - 6/10
Held it together well as the game teetered in the balance.
But... Playing a ginger Irishman with a hangover on a scorching
sun-kissed afternoon; disgraceful, Rodgers.
THE SHNAKE - 7.5/10
A redemption day in Paradise for the returned prodigal.
Got another win through sheer persistence to method -
much like this title.
Then had his moment on the mic, which he kept a reserved
cap on, and resisted a climactic, 'get it up ye!' to his doubters
and critics, of which there have been many more than any
Celtic manager this century has had to contend with.
Shame on you all...
MIBBERY - 3/10
They're almost forlorn at this stage, resigned to another
summer of anguish and weird sexual tension down the ludges
as the 'reparation rituals' take place.
Maybe there will be a final flourish next week, but today my
only worry was injuries, of which nothing crucial was facilitated
by the American High School movie nerd with the whistle.
OVERALL - 7.5/10
It's a beautiful thing, this Celtic. Another victory
dug out to hit 93 points, some fine-tuning for the
season's schadenfreude finale in a week, epic pathos
as the big goalie took his last - and premature imo -
Paradise bow.
Legends come and go and are born at this club. And the
heartfelt adoration leaves an indelible mark upon their
souls.
Just ask them - from the greatest to the pretty great,
from Henrik to Joe, the attachment they feel to the
support leaves them forever a fan, and us sobbing like
a Hun looking at a league table.
The game today etched the season upon the ninety -
struggles, setbacks, expectations. Flair, fault,
failure, then joy and emotion at the last.
Through it, faith, belief, hope and high drama,
villains, and ultimately heroes. Such a sweet outcome
to the main event.
The copious jhoy that flooded the stadium and
Trongate with Celtic souls and mass euphoria just
leaves as all wanting more.
Even Santa got in on the act, auditioning for Pope
with the finest blessing since Artur Boric exorcised
the Copeland Road end.
The big prize is gone, won by the good ghuys - the
CHAMPIONS - safe and sound in the trophy cabinet
it calls home.
What's left? A trinket with which to torment. I love
a good epilogue to a raucous story. Let's see if the
universe's scriptwriters possess a wicked sense of
humour next weekend. Schadenfreude Saturday's
coming to the big screen. Pass the popcorn.
Go Away Now
Sandman
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