We can all use a laugh

[The Shamrock]

A Glasgow woman has just been arrested for hosting a Botox Party during lockdown......... none of the women involved looked surprised.

 

[tictastic]

"Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"
"Yes, we arson."

 

[tictastic]

One for Shammy.
God walks on the beach with Adam and Eve
"Now that I have created man and woman there are still two traits left. Each sex gets one." God starts. "First one is ability to pee while standing up."

"I want that one. I want that one." Adam yelled. "OK" God said and Adam went running on beach. "Look what I can do" he yelled as he was making pretty patterns on the sand.

Meanwhile Eve was looking at his man and turned to God "What was the other trait?" She asked to which God answered "Brains."

 

[tictastic]

Now one furra bhoys
A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors. Each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks. When asked he replied miserably... "My wife missed the bus"

 

[TET]

A man has been found dead in the back of his Ice cream Van covered in hundreds and thousands coated in strawberry syrup.

Police are not treating it as murder enquiry as they feel he must have decided to top himself.

 

[MickyMcMick]

On for the girls
what do women do with their arseholes when they’re out having orgasms
They leave them at home with the kids

 

[DILLIGAF]

Meanwhile...in YEAST BELFAST

 

[DILLIGAF]

The guy literally does as he's asked...
Some funny stuff on here:

Photoshop King Takes Photo-Editing Requests Way Too Literally – Page 10

constative.com

 

[Bridie Bhoy]

 

[boab1916]

View attachment 13279

Arnold Layne

 

[DILLIGAF]

View attachment 13279

Ridiculous, arrogant, inbred, fucking bastard, of a human being
And so is Rees Mogg

 

[DILLIGAF]

Twitter, some brilliant comments on this one
My favourite is "They've opened the Ark of the Covenant"

https://twitter.com/x/status/1359211915810070529

 

[Hoopy427]

Lawyer gets stuck with cat filter during virtual court case

A Texas lawyer discovered his face had been replaced by a cat video filter during a court session on Zoom

www.bbc.co.uk

This made me piss myself!

"I'm here live I'm not a cat!"

 

[Bridie Bhoy]

Lawyer gets stuck with cat filter during virtual court case

A Texas lawyer discovered his face had been replaced by a cat video filter during a court session on Zoom

www.bbc.co.uk

This made me piss myself!

"I'm here live I'm not a cat!"

I thought it was you that was up in court!

 

[tictastic]

A man and his girlfriend are getting undressed together for the first time

The man took off his shoes and socks revealing feet with missing and deformed toes. "What happened to your feet?" his girlfriend asked. "I had a childhood disease called Tolio " the man said. "Don't you mean Polio?" "No, Tolio, it only affects the toes." Not wanting to ruin the mood the girlfriend pulled down his pants and revealed a severely discoloured pair of knees. "What happened to your knees?" she asked. "Well, I also had Kneesles " the man replied. "Don't you mean measles?" "No, kneesles, it only affects the knees." Again, not wanting to ruin the mood, she continued and pulled down his boxers before starting to laugh. Before the man could ask what was wrong the woman wiped a tear from here eye and said, "Wait, let me guess.....Smallcox?"

 

[tictastic]

My wife said she was going to put on a slinky dress
I can't wait to push her down the stairs

 

[green sprig]

Sky Sports face angry Ibrox backlash over Kris Boyd

Ibrox fans are furious at the suggestion that complaints from Celtic fans has forced them to drop Kris Boyd from their SPFL coverage.

videocelts.com

How stupid can these zombies be,the pie man had a night of and they people sacked,they are definitely having a bad week,between Roofe and Boyd there is a lot of hurt for the PEEPUL,you cant help but laugh at them..

HH.

 

[kelly]

 

[Smelltheg-love]

It's like a windae into Hoopy's bedroom

 

[DILLIGAF]